Page 32 of All That Glitters (Endurance #1)

He smiled. Unbothered. Unconcerned.

“We’ve been over that.”

“Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on?” Hale snapped. The glare that passed between Hale and Ashton and me and Ashton should’ve been enough to set the whole room on fire, but I could’ve sworn the temperature dropped a few degrees below zero.

“I’m out at Glitterati. I’ll be starting over at a new team. And your sister still wants to race.”

“No. I don’t.”

I really wanted to talk to Ashton about what his father had done, but… I was pretty sure that conversation wasn’t going to happen. Hale had to have questions, too, especially with what he’d said before Ashton showed up.

“She really does. She’s just too scared right now.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Hale’s eyes shifted to me, but I didn’t look at him. I picked a place on the wall behind Ashton and focused all my attention on it. “Why didn’t you look for another ride?”

“Because women were too big of a risk and that she wouldn’t be as marketable as a man, as you.”

“That’s absurd. There have always been women in motorsports. More all the time. There’s a full women’s race team now. She knows this. She knows them.”

It was interesting to be there and be talked about as though I wasn’t in the same room. Neither had said anything that wasn’t true. Sure, there was a little exaggeration, but not enough to bother offering a correction. I didn’t think they would listen anyway.

“Haven’t you ever wondered why you got the seat you’re in when she beat you that day?”

“They said… I mean, they…”

I swore I would never say anything.

“Don’t listen to him,” I said helplessly, still staring at the wall, at the way the light filtered against the paint.

“Too late. You didn’t beat me by much. Spitting distance.”

“Exactly. We were neck and neck the whole time.”

“Then what did it come down to? Why did they choose me and not you?”

I heaved a sigh, my whole being inside and out, heavy. I looked from my spot on the wall to my brother.

“Exactly what Ashton said. They were concerned that I wouldn’t be as marketable as you would be and that maybe I would be uncomfortable on a team that was all men.” It was mostly the truth and I hoped it would be enough of the truth to satisfy both of them.

“Tell him the other part.”

“There is no other part.”

“You’re a shit liar, Helen.”

“He’s right, you are. Always have been.”

“I hate you both.”

“What was the other part?”

“There is no other part.”

“Ashton?”

“She held back,” he said without pause. “She could’ve beaten you by more, at least by a nose, but she held back.”

“What? She…” Hale glanced between me and Ashton. “You didn’t?”

If the floor had opened and swallowed me whole, I’d have gladly gone without complaint. I heaved a painful sigh. “I did.”

“Why?”

“You wobbled. You overcorrected, swerved, then overcorrected again. I could’ve taken you right then, with two more laps. I didn’t. I backed off.”

Hale flushed and slid his gaze toward Ashton who stared at him with a mix of vindication and hurt and anger. I dropped mine to the floor.

“Why would you do that?”

Before I could answer, Ashton jumped in.

“My guess is she wanted to make it as close as possible to make the decision difficult for everyone involved. She wanted that seat, too. You’re not the only championship caliber driver in the Troye family.”

“I don’t want your guess, I want her answer.”

In response, I could only nod. Tears clogged my throat and threatened to fill my eyes and I… I didn’t want to cry in front of Hale or Ashton.

Clutching the folder to my chest as if my life depended on it, I sat on the edge of the nearest armchair unwilling to look at either of them.

“They said they liked my skill with the car, that you were too hesitant going in to esses.” His anger was palpable as he moved back toward the small liquor cabinet. Another drink was poured, only this time without the ice.

“What do you have to do with this?”

I knew the question wasn’t aimed at me, but I looked up and between the two most important men in my life. I focused on Ashton who’d settled on the arm of the other chair across the length of the coffee table from me.

“I’m just the messenger.”

I wanted to laugh but knew if I did it wouldn’t come out right. It would be more along the lines of maniacal rather than normal.

“Bullshit. You’re never just anything. Is this what you’ve been doing with her?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Ashton said, innocent as could be.

“Now who’s lying? This is what you’ve been doing with her. You’ve been trying to turn her against me, win her over to your side.”

“Oh bravo, Hale. You figured me out. You figured out my whole evil plan.”

The words were full of sarcasm, but they were also true.

“Get out.” Hale spit the words across the distance. “Get out. Stay away from Helen. And don’t ever come back. We’re done with you.”

Those words echoed in my ears. They were so similar to the ones Ashton had spat at me back in the hallway of the still under construction race shop of Darien Cross. “Hale. Think about what you’re saying.”

“I don’t have to. He’s done enough damage with his little revenge tour.”

“I’m afraid I can’t stay away from her. She holds her future and mine tucked inside that folder.

” There was more behind the words he spoke, but I couldn’t begin to focus on what they meant and before I knew what was happening, Hale snatched the folder from me again and tossed it toward Ashton.

“Thanks,” he said, catching it. “But you don’t get to decide what she wants in her life, Hale. No one does. No one but her.”

Ashton’s gaze bore into me and I simply shook my head. I couldn’t do this anymore. This was the one thing I never wanted to happen. This was the one thing I never wanted to experience. This searing pain of being torn between them.

My stomach swirled and burned and it was all I could do to not throw up. My mother would have my head. God… Our parents. What would they do when they found out? How were they going to handle all this?

Ashton nodded at me, smiled with all the confidence and ego he was known for. “We have a meeting in a couple of days with Darien to go over the terms of the contract. We’ll each want lawyers there for negotiations.”

It was so tempting. He was giving me everything I’d ever wanted on a silver platter.

Well, if the silver platter was in the form of a manila folder…

and manipulation. He’d put me in the most unforgivable, most awkward position with my brother and soon with my parents and I hated him for it.

I hated him for his high handedness. I hated him for going behind my back and doing exactly what my heart wished for.

I hated him for dangling it in front of me like a trophy.

I hated him.

I loved him.

I stood up on legs that trembled. My muscles shook from being clenched tightly through this whole fiasco, but I locked my knees so I wouldn’t fall down.

“I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to make the meeting. Good-bye, Ashton. We are definitely done here.”

Neither man said anything as I left the room and walked upstairs, exactly as I’d been trying to do since I came home.

I closed the door to my bedroom, locked it behind me, and slid to the floor.

The tears fell and I couldn’t help but wonder if my life would ever be the same again.

I’d walked away from my brother. I’d walked away from the man I loved.

And I’d walked away from the dream I’d had since my parents put me into a go-kart so I could be just like them.

How was I supposed to go on from here? What was I supposed to do now?