Page 31 of All That Glitters (Endurance #1)

Helen

“There you are.” Hale said as soon as I walked in. He was coming downstairs, a concerned look on his face. “I’ve been trying to call and it just kept going to voicemail.”

“Well… Here I am.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m just tired. I’m going to lay down for a bit.” I tried to edge around him, but he blocked me. “Not now,” I warned. “Please.”

I couldn’t remember a day when I’d used the word please so much.

“What did he do?”

“He didn’t do anything.”

“Helen, I know when you’re upset.” There was concern in his voice and in his eyes, but there was also a hint of wariness.

Did he really? Did he know when I was upset? Did anyone? Did my parents know? Or was Ashton the only one who knew and understood anything about me at all?

“Not now.” I tried for a softer, yet placating tone. I really couldn’t go round and round with Hale in the state of mind I was in. “We’ll talk later.”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No. Of course not. Ashton isn’t violent.”

“I don’t know what he’s like anymore. I don’t trust him. He’s not…right.”

“Not right? In the head? Is that what you mean?”

“Yeah. That’s what I mean. He’s not right in the head.”

“Like you, he sustained a concussion, but unlike you, he has nightmares, panic attacks, anxiety attacks, residual pain. Any one of those things might make someone seem a little off, wouldn’t you agree?”

I was surprised at my outburst, especially since I’d done the one thing I promised myself I wouldn’t do. I’d betrayed Ashton’s trust.

“I… I didn’t know.”

“No. You didn’t. You haven’t asked how he is, what he might need someone, a friend for.

You’ve just been assuming the worst about him.

About me.” But there wasn’t friendship between Ashton and me anymore.

I’m not sure there was anything left now.

Everything had changed. My head and my heart consisted of nothing but cracks and chaos.

I needed some time to think, to figure out what I needed to do, what I should do.

I took a step around Hale. And another. And a couple more before he spoke again.

“How else am I supposed to feel about him? He was my best friend and he hates me for something that we both did. He took the majority of damage from it, but both of us were at fault. Now, my sister is doing God knows what with him…” He stepped off the bottom riser with a huff and tread with heavy footfalls into the living room. I heard the clink of glass on glass.

I took a breath, then descended the stairs after him. Christ… I didn’t want to this.

He had one hand was wrapped around the neck of a bottle while he downed what he’d poured for himself.

The bottle of bourbon was his favorite. A small, publicly traded company that had been heavily invested in by our family.

There were a number of small, but very lucrative investments the Troye family had made which added to the already impressive investment portfolio.

Troye, LTD. had been started by our grandfather and his brother and had been among the first to expand into motorsports marketing.

The brand continued to grow under our father to include some products, race teams, and a few individuals, such as Hale.

“I’m sorry,” he said when he turned to face me. “Whatever is going on between you and Ashton… It bothers me and I wish you’d stop seeing him.”

“I’m not seeing him. He just trusts me.”

“He trusts you how? With what?”

“With the things I just told you about and… There’s more, but I can’t…

I know it bothers you. I know you’re worried about me, but I’m a big girl.

I can take care of myself. I’ve been friends with Ashton as long as you have.

I can handle him.” If he’d have let me. “But just because something bothers you doesn’t mean I have to stop doing it. ”

“Brax said there’s a rumor going around their shop that Leonardo Glitterati is going to replace Ashton next season.”

Please don’t put me in this position. Please don’t make me lie any more than I already have been .

I stayed silent. I wouldn’t confirm or deny anything about what I knew. The racing world at large would find out sooner rather than later… And Ashton needed a chance to talk to his father. Besides, none of this was my story to tell.

“But I don’t think Ash knows yet.”

He does now because it’s not a rumor . I didn’t really know what else to say, what else to add to the stilted conversation considering I hadn’t added anything at all. “Hale… I’m really tired. We can talk later.”

“You’ll just find a reason not to talk then, too.”

“What?”

“You don’t talk to me like you used to.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Not since the wreck. And definitely not since you’ve been spending time with Ashton.” He took a breath, then pushed it out “He’s come between us.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Except it wasn’t. “He hasn’t come between us.” Except he had. “And it’s race season. You’ve been gone as much as I’ve been busy. You’ve been down in Daytona with the team. It’s always like this just before the season starts.”

“Yeah.”

There was distance. There was a wall forming between us and I hated it. I hated everything about…everything. We were all supposed to be adults. Mature adults, but none of us were acting like it.

“We’ve been over this. Just last night. You said you’d trust me. What do you want me to do? He was your friend. He was my friend, too. He asked for… He asked…” I didn’t know how I was going to get through the rest of whatever kind of conversation this was.

Hale hadn’t said anything wrong and he hadn’t said anything that wasn’t technically true, but —

“He asked what?”

“For help.” I kept the exasperation out of my voice, but just barely. “He asked for help. He trusted me,” I said again.

Nothing had worked out. I didn’t know what I expected, though.

I was a means to an end. It sucked. It really, really sucked, but in a few short days, Ashton managed to do exactly what he’d set out to do.

He’d driven a wedge between me and Hale.

I’d told him as much at the cottage and I didn’t know how to fix it.

I didn’t know how to pull the wedge out without there being a bloody mess to clean up.

Ashton was no closer to being in a car, or being on a race track… He hadn’t even tried after that first night.

I was a damn fool.

God. Had he really said we were done and then walked away? The numbness I’d felt when I left Crossline Racing had worn off and I wanted it back. I didn’t want to feel this pain that was centered in my chest and spreading throughout my body.

We would never be friends again. We would never talk unless it was short and impersonal.

He would always feel that I chose Hale over him, over myself, over any dream I ever had to race. And he would be right. Just like Hale.

Neither of them thought they had anything in common anymore, but they had that. They were both right about things in my life.

“Are you coming to the race next weekend?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t miss it. You know that. It’s my favorite.”

I went to every race. I’d never missed one and I didn’t plan to start just because everything was a fucking shit show. My words were pointed, almost annoyed, and I’m sure he picked up on it. More than sure from the wary, uncertain way he looked at me.

“Now, I am going to take a nap.” I stepped toward him, kissed him on the cheek and turned to leave the room.

I never made it.

“Ashton,” I said, more than a little breathlessly. “What are you doing here?”

“You left a few things behind when you left the meeting.” He never looked at Hale, he just stood toe to toe with me when I stopped moving.

“I… I didn’t leave anything behind.” The end of that sentence ended in a whisper as he held up a folder similar to the one Darien had presented him with earlier. No. No no no … Please…

“Oh, but you did.” He pressed it to my chest until I had no choice but to take it. His eyes were full of mischief and I was sure he could read the fear and trepidation in mine. “Please don’t,” I mouthed to which he responded by leaning in to kiss me, very gently, tenderly on the lips.

“What’s going on?” Hale asked. The wariness was gone and there in its place was an edge of anger. Why would neither of these men, whom I loved, listen to me? Why did they seem hell bent on destroying me? “What meeting, Helen?”

“It’s nothing, Hale.” My surprise at seeing Ashton was starting to wear off and my frustration was starting to kick in.

“It doesn’t look like nothing.”

“Because it isn’t,” Ashton tossed in. “It’s very definitely something.” His eyes flashed between me and over my shoulder toward Hale. “Do you want to tell him or shall I?”

“Please don’t.” I hated that tone. I hate that begging, pleading tone. At least in polite conversations. There were other times it was well and truly welcome, but this was not one of those and oh my god, now was not the time to be thinking about sex.

“Of course, I’ll be happy to tell him.”

“Ashton.”

“Tell me what?”

“Your sister has been offered a seat on a new race team. The seat will be mine, eventually, but until then, it’ll be hers.”

“I told you no.” My jaw was starting to ache from clenching it so tightly to keep from screaming.

“And I obviously didn’t listen. Instead, I chose to do something for you that you refuse to do for yourself.”

“I’m not following. Your seat?” Hale stepped up beside me and took the folder from my limp fingers.

The shock was setting in. I would feel the anger later, I hoped, but for the moment, I was in shock.

Ashton was going to ruin everything. He was going to ruin every fucking piece of the wall I’d built around myself to protect everyone, most of all, Hale.

I snatched the folder back at the last second. “Ashton, thank you, but it’s time for you to go. And I won’t be needing the seat. Please thank Darien for me.”

“Oh, it’s not that cut and dried. You see, the condition of my employment is based on you accepting the offer.”

“That’s not fair. Why would he do that?”

“He didn’t. I did.”

“Bastard.”