Page 76 of Alastair

“We match,” he whispered. “Both marked by the same blade.”

Only on opposite sides, mine left and his on the right. The tenderness in his expression chipped away more at my armor. Beneath his scrutiny, I felt so vulnerable. Exposed.

“Just as fate marked our souls,” I said, my heart heavy as the weight of what we’d been denied for thousands of years fully settled over me. I lifted a hand to his cheek, throat tightening as he closed his eyes and leaned into my touch. “It took you long enough.”

“I know.”

“Because you were following orders.”

“Yes.” Lazarus lightly nuzzled my palm. “But I’m here now. With you.” He dragged in a shaky breath. “And I don’t wish to waste another moment.”

He joined our lips. The light pressing of his mouth alleviated the ache in my chest—made my heavy heart a bit lighter. We couldn’t change the past. We couldn’t go back. But we could embrace the present.

For however long we could.

Chapter Twelve

Lazarus

Disobeying the council’s orders. Focusing on my own desires. They were the actions that had led to the fall of many angels. With each kiss, I inched closer to that fateful edge myself. Brought myself closer to being stripped of my position and cast from the heavens.

“Touch me,” Alastair softly whined, lifting his hips from the bed to grind against me.

Sucking the base of his throat, I slid a hand between our bodies, palming the swell in the front of his pants. The thin cotton pj’s concealed nothing. My hand grazed the wet spot that had formed before I dipped it lower to cup him through the material. A raspy groan rumbled in his chest, and his breaths quickened.

Was he worth my damnation?

Sex wasn’t prohibited among angels. Yet, submitting to that carnal desire with the Nephilim I was forbidden to love could very well be my undoing. My fall from grace.

“Lazarus.” He tipped his head back, spine arching. “More.”

My hand slipped beneath the waistband of his pants before I took hold of him, nothing separating us. The silky-smooth texture of his cock, the ridge underneath, and the weight of it in my palm—all of it delighted me, but not nearly as much as the sounds he made as I stroked him from root to tip. And as the raspy moans left his lips, my internal conflict came to an end.

If choosing him meant I had to fall, then I’d fall a thousand times before ever letting him go.

I stripped him naked, then kissed down his toned chest and lingered at his navel for a moment to dip my tongue inside. His abdomen tightened as his hand landed on my head, fingers curling in my hair.

“Are you sure you’ve never done this before?” he panted.

“Yes, I’m sure.” I nipped at his hip bone before continuing my descent. “I’m inexperienced but not ignorant to sex. I know how to please.”

In theory anyway. Knowing and doing were two very different things.

“Did you… no. Never mind.” Alastair shook his head and draped an arm across his face. “It’s ridiculous.”

“Tell me.” I nuzzled the crease of his groin. The musk of his skin was intoxicating.

Exhaling, he lowered his arm and peered down at me. “Did you ever see me… when I was with the others? In my relationships?”

It took me a second to understand. And when I did, my cheeks burned. “Are you asking if I spied on your sexual encounters?”

The arm returned to his face, and he mumbled against it, “Maybe.”

“No, I didn’t.” I dropped my gaze to a freckle on his inner thigh. I smoothed my thumb across it. “I never intruded on your private moments. But once, I saw you kiss Joseph. I came to the mansion to update you on reports of shades gathering in a nearby town and saw you through the window of your study. Just a simple kiss after he handed you a cup of tea. The warding blocked so much of my feelings toward you, but seeing you with him made it hard for me to breathe.”

Alastair was quiet. Although his arm covered his face, I saw his chin quiver.

Was he upset because I’d mentioned his past lover? Did he still love Joseph? Mourn him? With the seal no longer obstructing my emotions, the pang that struck my heart at the thought caused a tremor that reverberated in my throat.