Page 53 of Alastair

“Indications of what?”

“That you care about us,” he responded, coming even closer. His sweet cedar scent warmed me from the inside out. It terrified me too. “I had my doubts in the past. So many times, I thought you only kept us alive because of our power. Other times, I wondered if I was wrong.”

“And now?”

“The truth is a bit clearer,” he answered. “Like I said, I don’t fully understand it. But I’m beginning to.”

“You understand nothing. You never will. So cease this ridiculous questioning and focus on what truly matters.”

“I never will?” Alastair’s gaze darkened. “I’ll take that as a challenge.”

The vein near my temple throbbed. “Why are you so stubborn?”

“Why are you?”

“You’re so damned maddening.” I fought the urge to grab his jaw, if only to stop his incessant tightening of it. “The mortal realm is being threatened as we speak, yet your know-it-all tendencies have you standing here wasting our time.”

“The only maddening thing right now is your refusal to admit I’m right. You care about us.” Something then sparked in his eyes, as if he’d uncovered another clue to the vast mystery he’d concocted in his head. “Is that why?”

“Why what?” I spoke low, my voice gravelly.

“Uriel,” he said. The synapses in his brain fired so quickly that it sometimes took his mouth a moment to catch up. “Why you’re so loyal to him. It’s because of us, isn’t it?”

“I’m loyal to him because he’s my superior.”

Alastair was shaking his head before I even finished my sentence. “If that were true, we’d be dead right now. He’s made it clear how he feels about us. After we caged Lucifer, our purpose was null and void. So why are we still breathing? Why weren’t we disposed of the moment his cage was sealed?”

Curse him and his analytical mind. Of course, part of that was my fault. I’d helped develop his keen perception of others—studying body language for the truth when the lips spoke lies.

“My guess?” Alastair’s gaze darted across my face, scrutinizing every inch of my expression for those signs of deceit he was trained to detect. “You’ve been protecting us. How? I’m not yet sure. But you’re the reason we’re still alive.”

“You’re alive because the council agreed you would serve the human realm well. And you have. You and your brothers became protectors of Earth.”

“I bet you proposed that idea to the council,” Alastair said. “Am I wrong?”

“This is tiring.” I was suddenly heavy with fatigue. I felt beaten down, my resolve weakening. “What’s the goal here, Alastair? Other than to prove you’re right.”

His conviction wavered as the center of his brow dipped. He wet his lips and unclenched his fists. And when he spoke, his voice was soft. A bit unsteady. “I only want the truth, Lazarus. Ineedthe truth. Because I can stand here all day and throw theories at you until I’m blue in the face, until my throat’s so raw I can’t speak, but until I hear it from you, these questions will continue to drive me crazy.”

“Fine. You want the truth?” No longer able to fight it, I grabbed him by the jaw and brought his face closer to mine. He sucked in a breath, lips parting. “I do care. Much more than I should. But it changes nothing.”

“You’re wrong,” Alastair whispered. “It changes everything.” His heavy-lidded gaze dropped to my mouth.

Chills danced across my bare flesh, yet I also felt hot. Fevered. What would he taste like? The tea he loved so much, rich and lightly sweetened? If I grazed my teeth across his porcelain skin, would it be spicy and earthy, like cedar and old treasured books whose pages had been lovingly caressed?

“We…” I exhaled against his lips. So close to mine. “We should head back. The sun’s setting.”

“Afraid of the dark?” he asked, a smile curving the lips I longed to taste.

More like afraid what I’d do to himinthe dark. Such as disobey yet another command, this one directly from the council. Releasing his jaw, I took a step back.

“Lazarus.” He grabbed my wrist. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” My skin tingled from where he touched me.

His grip tightened. “Don’t leave.”

“Why?” I forced a harder tone despite the ache in my chest. “You said what you came here to say. I gave you my answer. Let the matter rest.”