Page 30 of Alastair

The memory created a tightness in my chest.

“Because at the time, despite everything you’d done, a part of me still loved you.” The confession should’ve made me feel lighter. Instead, it pressed down on my chest like a ton of bricks. “I hoped it would bring you peace of mind. Perhaps even make you see the error of your ways.”

Albeit small, a softness surfaced in Lucifer’s eyes. “Showing mercy to an enemy is foolish.”

“You weren’t always my enemy. Once, I called you brother.”

“Lazarus?”Alastair’s worried voice filled my head. Our telepathic link didn’t allow him to sense me like the connection he shared with his brothers did. He didn’t know if I was gravely wounded. If I was alive or dead.

I ignored him. I might be alive for now, but with Vepar and Purah pacing to the sides of me with their ever-growing impatience, it was only a matter of time before that changed. Lucifer wouldn’t allow me to live. Taking me off the board would be an advantage for him. One he was too clever to pass up.

“Answer me, goddammit!”

I didn’t.

“Let me play, Lucy.” Purah ran his sharp nails along the blade of his dagger. “We want to see what he looks like on the inside.”

Lucifer watched me for a moment, silent. Then, he rose to his full height and turned away. “Make it quick.”

My fate was sealed with those three words. I could’ve fought. Defeating Purah and Vepar wasn’t an impossible task, but the wound given to me from Light Bringer left my right arm weakened. I wasn’t at my full strength. And I was tired, an exhaustion that sank deep into my bones. If I managed to win against them, it would only be delaying the inevitable. I couldn’t fight Lucifer.

I hung my head and closed my eyes.

“I expected more from you, Lazarus,” Vepar said. “Although, it’s nice to see you finally realize your place.”

I didn’t want my final moments to be wasted exchanging meaningless words with them.

Instead, I chose to spend those moments thinking of him—of the male I’d been forbidden to love. I imagined the life that could’ve been had things been different. Alastair curled up in the chair in his study, a fire crackling in the hearth as he read. And me beside him, reading over his shoulder. He’d smile and lightly push me away, and I’d tug him right back against me.

In that life, I would’ve never sealed away our fated mate bond. I wouldn’t have had to. Perhaps, we could’ve been happy. It was a life I could only see in dreams.

Purah hummed to himself, and I sensed him draw closer to me. The scraping of his nails on hard steel continued.

“I know you’re ignoring me,”Alastair said.“I don’t appreciate it, you white-winged bastard.”

I felt a smile touch my lips.“That language is unbecoming of you.”

“I knew it! You really were ignoring me. Tell me what’s happening.”

I opened my eyes to see Purah approaching, his steps crunching in the snow.

“Is everyone safe?”I asked.

“Yes.”

“Good.”Purah stood over me now, flashing his sharpened teeth as he grinned. He waved the dagger at me in a childish taunt.“My role in this war has come to an end. I leave the rest to you.”

“You’re giving up?”Alastair’s voice hardened.“How fucking dare you. You taught me to never surrender. Every time I was knocked down in training, you yelled for me to get back on my feet. You beat that weakness out of me. You never let me give up. Practice what you preach.”

“This is different.”

“Like hell it is!”Alastair only ever cursed when he was angry. That was when his image as a proper gentleman shifted to show another side of him. A side that had no trouble giving me demands.“If you’re able to speak to me right now, you’re not dead yet. Get on your fucking feet and fight until you no longer can.”

Something came over me then. Maybe it was Alastair’s voice in my head, or maybe it came from the sudden urge to wipe that grin off Purah’s face, but I found an unexpected strength inside myself. One that allowed me to call forth my whip once more and strike just as Purah made his move.

Purah’s eyes widened as the whip curved around his neck and seared into his pale flesh. His shock then turned into a maddened glee as he cackled and lost the grip on his dagger. He grabbed at the whip.

Vepar yanked my head back and placed his sword at my throat. “Release him, or I’ll cut your pretty little neck.”