Page 138 of Alastair

“Anyone want pancakes?” Raiden asked once we’d crammed into the kitchen. “Toast with strawberry jam?” He was trying to delay the inevitable.

Gray had just woken from his morning nap and still had a sleepy look in his eyes as he shook his head and slipped his arms around Mason’s waist. “Not hungry.”

“What’s going on?” Titan asked with an apprehensive stare. Raiden averted his eyes as soon as he looked at him. “You’ve all been hiding something from us.”

“I’ve felt it too,” Phoenix said, his dark brown eyes pinned to Bellamy. “It started after we returned from the realm of the lost.”

“We…” Castor fidgeted with his lip ring—a nervous habit. “Shit. I can’t say it.”

Simon turned to Galen. “Time to speak up, big guy. I’m getting nervous here.”

Galen’s light gray eyes darkened a bit as guilt poured off him. He then looked at me. Pleading. My other brothers did the same. I was their support.

Lazarus rested his hand on my hip. And he was mine.

“Before we left the realm of the lost, Mephistopheles showed me something,” I said. “It’s how we figured out when the battle would take place. Because I saw it in a vision. I saw something else too.”

No one made a sound as I revealed the true purpose of the spell and what we had to do in order to win. I had explained it several times now, but it wasn’t any easier, especially once taking in their expressions. Mason’s stoicism broken by the tormented look in his eyes. Simon’s shock, followed by tears. Kyo balled his hands into fists.

“But don’t worry,” Raiden said, touching Titan’s side. “We’re not gonna die, so you’ll be okay. Our souls will just kinda be… well, trapped, I guess.”

“That’s supposed to make it better?” Animosity radiated from Titan. He gripped the countertop so tight with his metal hand that the laminate cracked.

“You may not die, but you’ll still be sacrificing yourselves,” Phoenix said, his eyes flashing red. A plate flew off the table and smashed into the wall.

“Nix.” Bellamy reached for him.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Phoenix used his tail to slap his hand away. “How could you keep this from me?”

Tears shone in Bellamy’s eyes. “I didn’t know how to tell you.”

“Tell me what?” The demon slammed his fists against my brother’s chest as Bell tried to grab him again. “That you’re going to be a good little hero and sacrifice yourself for a world that doesn’t deserve it?”

“It’s not that simple.” Bellamy’s voice broke. “This is the only way to stop Lucifer. To protect the world. To protect you. I don’t have a choice.”

“You had a choice and made it.” Red lit his eyes again before a cup on the counter shattered. “You’re leaving me behind!”

Bellamy wrapped Phoenix in his arms, not letting go as he was whacked with the demon’s tail and slapped. But then Phoenix stopped fighting him and returned his embrace, releasing a broken cry.

“I’m so sorry.” Bellamy tightened his hold and pressed his face against the demon’s neck. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby.”

Mason crushed Gray to his chest.

Kyo and Castor had stepped from the kitchen and stood beyond the archway leading into the living room, arguing.

Simon had burrowed against Galen and wouldn’t let him go. Galen ran his fingers through Simon’s sandy-brown hair, speaking softly in his ear. Kallias stood beside Raiden as Titan pulled them both in for a hug. Titan then cupped Raiden’s head and kissed the side of his backward hat.

“Don’t do this, kotya,” Warrin said, taking Daman’s face in his hands. “Please.”

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, War.” Daman smiled through his tears. “I wanted more time with you.”

“No.” Warrin growled low and brought him closer. “Don’t do that. Don’t say your goodbyes to me. I nearly lost you once. I refuse to do so again.”

Daman brought Warrin’s hand to his chest—over his heart. “Even if we’re apart, a part of you will always be with me.”

I turned away from them. To give them privacy but also because I couldn’t bear it any longer. I felt all of my brothers’ grief and fear. It combined with my own. The intensity shook me to my core. My carefully structured life was unraveling, and I didn’t know how to make it right again. I didn’t know how to take away their sorrow.

My knees wobbled as my vision blurred.