Page 61 of Alastair

“It’s clever,” I said.

“Don’t tell me you’re actually on board with this,” Lazarus said, and his eyes did a squinty thing that I pretended not to think was kind of…no, don’t you dare call him cute.

I blamed sleep deprivation. The angel had kept me tossing and turning all night. It had become so frustrating that I’d almost caved and asked one of my brothers to knock me out with our sleeping power.

Steeling myself against the confusing feelings, I held his gaze. “If you would put aside your preconceived notions and anger toward him, you’d see what I do.”

“Tell me, Pride,” Lazarus said with a low snarl. Though, the hardness in his voice didn’t reach his eyes. “What is it you see?”

It was as if he was forcing the harder tone. Forcing himself to remain cold toward me. He wanted to know what I saw? Right then, I saw right through his bullshit.

“We have hunters and warriors scattered across the globe right now helping defend against the monsters,” I explained, “but if humans learned to protect themselves on top of that, we could put more of our focus into pursuing Lucifer and his generals. This will help keep the death count low while we end this war.”

“I agree that it’s a clever proposal,” Michael said. “However, these instructions must be approved by the three of us before they’re sent to humans on the line.”

Gods, he sounded like a grandpa. I’d have to tell Konnar about it the next time we spoke. Someone was even more ancient than we were.

“Of course,” Penemuel told him, bowing his head. “I’ll get started right away.” He excused himself before walking down the path.

“Well, if that’s settled, I have warriors to train.” Michael looked between me and Lazarus with a knowing smile. “You two have much to discuss.”

Either Lazarus had told him about our conversation, or he’d guessed. Whatever the reason, Michael clearly wasn’t one of the angels on the council who had voted to seal our bond. That took away some of my annoyance toward him. He released his wings, and the wingspan was the largest I’d seen, the feathers large and white with the ends dipped in gold. Still with that smirk in place, he flew from the courtyard.

Lazarus focused on me, then averted his eyes. Michael said we had much to discuss, and we did. It was a discussion that couldn’t be prolonged despite me still being confused about all of it.

The morning held a nice chill, unlike other days. When I inhaled, crisp air filled my lungs. So did that faintness of winter apple. The source? The maddening angel before me.

“I’m still angry at you,” I said, breaking the silence.

“I know.”

“I hate being lied to.”

“I know.” He kept his gaze lowered. His submissiveness was so different than the scornful looks and growly tone that had become so common with him. But his remorseful behavior wouldn’t bring my forgiveness that easily—not that he’daskedfor my forgiveness.

“I told my brothers about our bond.”

Lazarus looked at me, surprised. “And?”

Was he nervous?

“Their reaction doesn’t matter. You and I aren’t together, so it’s irrelevant. I only told them because I agreed to be more honest. Better than keeping secrets… wouldn’t you agree?”

Yes, that was a stab at him. But goddammit, he deserved a bit of stabbing. Figuratively.

“I told you why I kept it secret,” he said. “I was following orders. As a warrior, you should at least understand that much.”

“Orders or not, you shouldn’t have kept it from me. For a year or two? Maybe. But for thousands? No. That secrecy not only affected your life, but it did mine as well.”

He stepped toward me, bringing the heat of the sun with him. That fire burned in his eyes. “Pleasetell me how it affected you,” he hissed, jaw wound tight. “You weren’t the one forced to watch your mate go about their life, unaware that every time they gave their heart to someone else, a piece of yours withered away.”

My throat tightened. “I… I didn’t know. You can’t blame me for that.”

Those flames simmered down. “I don’t blame you. I only blame myself.”

“If you would’ve just told me, we could’ve both spared ourselves the pain.”

“Enlighten me to your pain, Alastair,” he said with a scowl. “Because from where I’m standing, you were free to love, to screw, to do whatever your damned heart pleased.”