Page 21 of Alastair

I hated him.

But I had loved him once.

The sight of Lucifer stepping from the shadows jostled the nerves in my gut, but I forced myself to remain still and not allow my stare to falter. Straight black hair and sky-blue eyes, fair skin that, although pale, wasn’t ashen or sickly in appearance—Lucifer was the most beautiful angel. A reputation he more than upheld even after his once white wings had been stained black with his rebellion.

Vepar bowed his head. “My king.” A show of respect, but there was a tenseness to his jaw and a hardness in his eyes as he looked back up. “Everything went according to plan.”

“Of course it did,” Lucifer responded, his gaze steady on me. “This being such an obvious trap didn’t deter him in the least. It only compelled Pride to prove he can rise above it and attempt to beat me at my own game. As was my intention.”

“Congratulations,” I said in a clipped tone. “You know me so well.”

“Only as well as I know myself.” Lucifer’s stare gave nothing away. A skill I’d learned from him. It was why even my brothers had trouble reading me sometimes. “We share that trait, you and I. The inability to resist a challenge even when the odds may be stacked against us. Some call it madness. However, empires weren’t built by playing it safe. To achieve true greatness, you must first be willing to risk everything. That’s what separates the conquerors from the conquered.”

“I believe knowing when to stop is equally as important. That’s what separates a conqueror from a tyrant.”

A glint of humor shone in his eyes. “You think me a tyrant?”

“You defected from the celestial realm to live a life of your choosing,” I said, unable to stop my annoyance from sounding in my voice. “And you’ve done that. You conquered the underworld. The demons accept you as their king. The Fallen do as well. You could spend your days in luxury, being adored and feared at the same time, ruling your very own empire. Every level of the underworld is yours. So why not stop there? Why must you rule the human realm as well?”

His humor faded. “Yes, I wanted my freedom and seized it. In the beginning, the only crime I committed was breaking free of the mold and thinking for myself. Although I abhorred humans, I claimed my throne in the underworld instead of waging war against them.”

“What changed?”

Lucifer smiled, though it appeared cold. “The council of archangels came after me and those who followed me from the heavens. They refused to allow us to live in peace. One of my generals was slain.”

“Kallias’ father,” I said. He was the only of our fathers who had already been dead when Lazarus began our training.

“Cassael,” Lucifer said, and for the briefest of moments, I could’ve sworn there was a flicker of sadness in his cold eyes. “Uriel removed his head while he was gathering flowers for his pregnant bride. She loved lilies, you see, and Cassael adored the very ground she walked on. Uriel killed him from behind like a coward. His death sparked the war between us. If you wish to cast blame on anyone for the current state of affairs, look to the heavens.”

“You expect me to believe you and your generals did nothing to warrant the archangels attacking?”

“Why not? It’s the truth. Caim and Cassael fell in love with mortal women and lived with them. Asmodeus preferred solitude and built a home deep in the forest, away from everyone. Azazel and I resided in the underworld. I was content to spend my days ruling the darkest of the realms. But Cassael’s death couldn’t be ignored, and I’m not one to forgive and forget. If the celestial army intended to see us as the enemy, I would give them a reason to.”

“So that’s when you decided to set your eyes on the human realm.”

“Yes,” Lucifer answered. “To prepare for the war, Azazel and I then relocated to a castle in the human realm. I believe you’re familiar with it.”

A castle I’d once called home.

“You know…” I stepped forward, the winter air filling my lungs as I took a breath, then expelled it. The snow crunched under my boots. Neither Vepar or Purah spoke. They stood by like obedient dogs waiting for their master to give them an order. “For a second, I almost believed you.”

“Almost?”

“It was a nice little story, I admit. But Belphegor revealed everything to us already.” My brothers and I had stormed Belphegor’s castle in Scotland, where he’d then told Gray the truth about Lucifer’s former plan. “He said a seer showed you various futures. Our very existence, my brothers and I, were to bring one of those visions to fruition. You intended to use us to defeat the celestial army and help you on your reign of terror. To bring the humans to heel. See.” I stopped several feet in front of him, cocking my head. “You let it slip that Cassael’s bride was pregnant. Which tells me you were already planning a conquer of the human realm when Uriel killed him.”

A smile veering on surprised crossed Lucifer’s face. “It pleases me greatly to see time hasn’t dulled your sharp mind. You were always so clever.”

“And you were always a masterful liar.” There was a tightening in my chest. Those memories I kept of him, the ones where he laughed with me, cared for me, and made me feel cherished… had they been nothing more than lies too? Manipulations so I’d love him and do anything he asked once I was grown? “Was any of it real?”

I hated how vulnerable my voice sounded—shaky, like it was close to breaking.

“Tell me, Alastair.” Lucifer rested his hand on Light Bringer’s hilt. “Which answer would hurt most? One where I truly loved you as a son… or one where I admit you were nothing more than a means to an end? That you were part of a carefully crafted deception to ensure your future loyalty?”

My vision blurred, and that tightness clawed up my chest and settled in my throat. I couldn’t speak. Not without shattering.

“Ah. The answer is all too clear. You hide your emotions well, yet here they are now, so obvious in your wounded expression. You care what I think. You always have.” Lucifer’s calculating gaze kept me pinned in place. “You can try to convince yourself of many things, Alastair, but you know in your heart where you belong.”

“And where might that be?”