Page 41 of Alastair

Seven Nephilim stood within that circle, their agonized cries echoing in the night as their life force was extracted from their bodies. Each of them had smeared their blood on the door to seal Lucifer inside his prison, and their energy was then used to fortify that seal.

“Stay strong!” I told them. “This is what I trained you for!”

Gradyn was the first to fall to his knees. His small body had given all that it could. The other Nephilim gritted their teeth and held on, but soon, they all started to fall, losing consciousness. Would they succumb to death? Uriel had said their life force would be needed, but he failed to say if the boys would survive it.

I doubt if even he knew.

The door to Lucifer’s cage was sealed and the nexus closed, hiding that doorway from anyone who’d ever go searching for it. Every moment had led to that one, my orders to find the cursed sons, train them, and ensure they made it to that night.

So why did it feel so… bittersweet?

Alastair was the last to fall. And as his knees hit the ground, that thud echoed in my very chest. He glanced over at me, blood streaking through his silvery blond hair and down his cheeks. His eyes then fluttered closed, and he joined his brothers in the bloodstained grass.

“Alastair?” I stumbled forward a step.

Something broke inside me. Something I didn’t understand. It propelled me toward the circle. Toward him.

I dropped beside Alastair, my hands trembling as I gathered him in my arms. My heart squeezed, my lungs burned, and every muscle quaked. And for the first time in my life, tears surged in my eyes. I felt like I was drowning and being crushed at the same time. I pressed my face into his hair and heard a pained, tearful whimper.

The sound had come fromme.

“Lazarus,” Uriel said from behind me. “The mission is complete. Let’s return to our realm.”

I didn’t move. I couldn’t.

“To your feet,” he commanded.

“I…” My voice broke just like the heart in my chest. “I cannot. I…” I crushed Alastair closer, releasing another pained cry. “What’s happening to me? What is this I feel tearing through my insides?”

“Grief,” he said in a hard tone. “I warned you not to form attachments to them.”

“I did all that you asked of me.” I petted the back of Alastair’s hair, a burning pressure building in my throat. “I avoided attachments. I trained them hard. I kept my distance. So why do I feel like this?”

When I lifted my gaze to Uriel, I saw only rage staring back at me.

“How despicable,” he growled, nostrils flaring. “You’ve fallen in love with it.”

“Love?” I rested my cheek on the top of Alastair’s head, relieved he was still warm. Still breathing. Barely alive but holding on. Strong, just as I taught him to be. “I fail to understand.”

I knew of many things. Duty. Loyalty. War. Sacrifice. But not love, at least not in terms of romantic affection. I understood love between those I called brothers, such as Michael and, at one time, Lucifer. Beinginlove was an emotion I had heard of but never felt for myself.

Raphael landed beside Uriel, his magenta eyes falling to me, then to the unconscious male in my arms. “It is true. I sense the bond of fate between them. The Nephilim being on death’s door must have unlocked the connection.”

The dream faded as I opened my eyes to the sunlight streaming in through the window beside the bed.

With my mind still reeling from the memory, I sat up and rubbed at my eyes. I then stared at my hands. They trembled slightly. I clenched them both into tight fists and took several deep breaths, doing my best to shove down the emotions I had locked away that night so long ago.

Raphael had been right. Alastair nearly dying had triggered the fated mate bond between us. Until that moment, I had never felt anything more than a commander and soldier relationship for the avatar of Pride.

But after it? Alastair became my deepest sorrow—a painful reminder of what I could never have.

When he and his brothers regained consciousness days after caging Lucifer, I had already sealed our bond. However, that was when a link formed between our minds. Raphael said the reason came from our connection being so strong that blocking it had forced it to take another shape.

The telepathic link was proof of fate’s mark on us, still connecting us despite the magic seal I’d placed on my soul to block it.

“Do you intend to sleep all morning?” a deep voice said from the doorway. A voice that belonged to a smirking archangel. “This island life has made you lazy, my friend.”

“You are an unwelcome guest in my hut.”