Page 10 of Alastair

“I don’t want to trouble anyone.”

A pang went through my chest.“You won’t.”

“Very well,”came his response.

The patio door slid open moments later. Kallias walked over and stood beside Mason at the counter, bringing with him the weight of Melancholy.

Having died when he was only twenty years old, Kallias hadn’t learned to control his sin’s influence like the rest of us had learned to do over the thousands of years since then. Our sins’ powers had strengthened once we’d reached adulthood, so his control over it was even less than it’d been in the past. And one of his powers was the ability to send out a wave of sadness, affecting anyone within his proximity.

Mason’s knees buckled as that wave slammed into him. Gray had been asleep on his back and jolted awake.

“I apologize,” Kallias said, staggering backward to put space between them. “This is why I prefer to keep my distance.”

Before any of us could stop him, Kallias rushed back outside and retook his spot by the pool. He drew his knees up and hung his head.

“I’ll go talk to him,” I said before heading that way.

The midday sun blazed down on his black hair and tanned skin as he sat motionless beneath the rays. “You wasted your time bringing me back,” he whispered. “I am worthless.”

That was his sin talking. But Kallias believed it. With time, he’d be able to better distinguish his own feelings from that of Melancholy.

“You aren’t worthless.” I sat beside him. “Your sin only wants you to believe you are. It feeds off your sadness.”

“I don’t belong here, Alastair.” His dark brown eyes lifted to me. “I know the feel of the sun on my skin and the earth I walk upon. I know the breeze and the smells of the leaves as they change. But I do not recognize the world around me, nor the people who reside within it. They speak of unknown things, and I struggle to follow most conversations. And when I try to belong, I only bring misery. I should’ve remained in the realm of the lost. At least there, I would not have—”

“Stop.” The word came out harsher than intended. I blew out a breath, forcing myself to calm. “Do you have any idea how much it destroyed us to lose you, Kallias? Raiden said all food lost its taste. Gray couldn’t sleep no matter how tired Sloth made him. Galen went mad, butchering any demon he came across. But one mention of you, and he broke down like I’d never seen him before. For the past few thousand years, I’ve never gone a day without thinking of you and blaming myself for your loss.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” he said, rubbing at his chest, his gaze a million miles away. “When I found Elasus, I knew I never wanted to live a single moment without him by my side. It was my choice to bind myself to him. I long to join him in the Elysian Fields. The pain I feel even now as I sit here with you is piercing. Like a dagger twisting inside my heart.” He dropped his hand to his lap and squeezed it into a tight fist. “Yet, I fail to know if it’s my sin making me feel this unbearable ache or if it’s the loss of my mate.”

“It’s both,” I told him, glancing up as a cloud moved in front of the sun. “Just as my guilt over your death came from both my sin and my love for you. Your loss was a blow to my ego. I swore to myself I’d always keep my brothers safe, and staring my failure in the face haunted me. It never stopped haunting me.”

“Hey, losers,” Castor said from behind us. Kyo and Clara stood beside him.

Kallias glanced at him over his shoulder. Although subtle, a bit of his sadness lifted. “If memory serves me well, I bested you with a sword earlier this morn. If you wish to see a loser, come closer and peer at your reflection in this pool of water.”

Kyo barked out a laugh.

Castor lightly elbowed his mate in the side. “Don’t take his side, little dragon. Go beat him up for me.”

“I love you, Red.” Kyo put his hands up, shaking his head. “But I’m not dumb enough to take on a goddamn Spartan.”

Kallias softly smiled. “Perhaps when the war comes to a close, I can visit Sparta. I know it’s not the same as it once was, yet I would love to hear the wind in the olive trees and breathe in the air once more. Walk through the fields.”

So he could feel closer to Elasus.

Long ago, after our training had concluded and Lazarus permitted us to leave the barrier, the eight of us had been thrown into the first war between Lucifer’s army and the celestial realm. One of the battles had taken us to where a Spartan militia fought. Demons had possessed warriors from Thebes—a few of them generals, for the sole purpose of spreading conflict—and it had been our mission to locate the demons possessing the humans and kill them.

That’s when Kallias and Elasus had met. During the short reprieve following the battle, the Spartans had invited us to join them for a celebration and given us a place to stay for the night. By the following morning, Kallias had marked Elasus as his mate.

Castor sniffed the air. “Oh man. Ray’s cooking. I think he made me gain like ten pounds on Thanksgiving.”

“He didn’t force you to eat all those buttered rolls,” Kyo said with a laugh, rubbing Castor’s belly. “You did that to yourself, Red.”

“You need to help me work it off.” Castor grinned.

“With pleasure.” Kyo nipped at his bicep.

The holiday had been several days ago. For that one day, my brothers and I put aside all discussions of the war and enjoyed each other’s company. Others had joined the celebration as well, such as Nico, who had become like a son to Titan and Raiden, as well as our comrades.