Page 95

Story: Soft Rebound

“Are you talking about Kim?”

“Maybe. A little.”

“Does it still hurt?”

He shrugs. “Not really. Not anymore. It’s more of a dull, full-body ache when I remember it.” He looks out the window again. “Mostly I am ashamed of myself. Of how stupid I was. How blind. That’s the worst. I can’t even hate her. Mostly I hate myself.”

I stiffen.

“Joe, do you still love her?” I ask.

He looks down at me, puzzled. “What? No! No, of course not. I don’t.”

But there’s a little kernel of fear that has embedded in my heart. It’s tiny. Really tiny. But I already fear it will be hard to dislodge.

He squeezes me tight. “I don’t, Liz. I promise, I wouldn’t pursue you if I weren’t over my ex. I’m completely over her. It’s just that, sometimes, something reminds me and there’s this wave of mortification. I can’t seem to forgive myself for being stupid, I guess.”

“I think I get that,” I say. “You know, I confronted Jake yesterday, about the girl he left me for. I asked if he’d cheated on me before he’d broken it off. He had.” Joe’s jaw clenches and his fingers tighten around my shoulders. “Honestly, I think I’ve always known. I had to convince myself it wasn’t true, because he made it seem I was crazy to even think such a thing. But I wasn’t crazy. I saw the truth. And I don’t think she was the only one, but I don’t have it in me to dig further. It’s just... He’s turned everything to shit. Seven years is all shit now.”

Joe pulls me into his arms for a proper, all-encompassing hug. “I’m so sorry, baby,” he murmurs in my hair. “I’m sorry he’s turned it all to shit.”

“And now he’s gonna hurt Bobby.” My eyes well up, my voice shaky with imminent tears. “He’s going to out my brother and humiliate him in front of my parents and everyone in St. Cloud and just ruin his life,” I say, and, at that, my voice breaks. Once I start crying, I can’t seem to stop. It just pours out of me.

“It’s okay,” Joe says softly as he strokes my hair. “It’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

But I can’t stop weeping. I feel tired, depleted, and my nice postcoital buzz is a thing of the past.

Finally, my phone rings. It’s Bobby. I put him on speakerphone.

“Lizzie, what the hell? Jake was here and saw me with Trey last night?”

I quickly recap what happened, and Joe considers me in silence.

“This is a shitshow,” I hear Bobby say. “Should I just preempt and tell Mom and Dad now? What should I do?”

“I think you should tell them,” I say.

“When I get back?” he asks. “In person?”

“I’d call them and tell them now,” I say. “I have no idea what Jake will do. He seemed pretty pissed.”

“Mom and Dad can’t really do video calls,” he says. “And I want you next to me when I tell them.”

“Of course. I can come to Trey’s.” I look at Joe, who nods. I can’t tell what he’s thinking, but he looks very serious. “We. We can come to Trey’s. Joe and I.” There’s the smallest trace of a smile on Joe’s lips. “Or you can come here,” I add.

“Trey and I will come to your place,” he says. “Shit. I wasn’t ready for this today.”

“I know, Bobby. I know. I’m sorry.”

I hear Trey murmuring something softly on the other side.

“We’ll be there in half an hour. Jake won’t be back in St. Cloud by then. So unless he talks to them on the phone, we’re okay.”

“Sounds good.”

Joe’s still holding me after I’ve hung up with Bobby. “Let me know if you want me to leave,” he says.

“No. No, I want you here.”