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Story: Soft Rebound

“Mm-hmm.” She takes a swig of beer. “Since graduation. I’m expecting to be promoted to manager in the next year or so. My own manager, Gordon, is really good about lifting people up, giving them opportunities. I think I will enjoy leading my own team.”

“I’ve never met anyone like you,” I say with awe. “Seriously. You are officially the coolest woman I know.”

Roxie smiles and takes another sip. “I talk a big game, but I promise you I’ve got issues like everyone else. Which you will discover over time. But I take my work very seriously. Doing a good job gives me satisfaction.”

“I wish I felt like that about my job,” I say.

“You don’t like being an accountant?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it. I mean, I’m good at it. It’s just that I feel there should be more to one’s career than that.”

“Well, I don’t know,” Roxie says, shrugging. “As far as careers go, accounting seems pretty great to me. You can work anywhere and it pays well. A lot of people find the math too hard, so it’s not a job that anyone can do. I mean, you were able to up and leave and move to a random new city and get interviews right away. Most people can’t do that.”

I sink into my chair. “Yeah, I know. I know I sound ungrateful...”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.” She reaches out and briefly squeezes my hand. “What I meant to say is that you already have a great vocation and some experience. You can support yourself, create the life you want. But if you want more, or something different, you can do that while you live your life. You can make things better for yourself. You can do whatever you want.”

I can do whatever I want.

“It doesn’t feel like it,” I say. “I feel like ... like I’m on some kind of stolen vacation time. Like this is a wonderful escape, but it will soon be time to pack up. Go back to my family. My ex-fiancé.”

“You don’t owe your parents your life, you know. Or ex-fiancé, whatever his name is.”

“Jake.”

“Jake. You don’t owe your parents or Jake your life. It’s your life.”

“But my parents sacrificed so much for me...”

“They’re your parents, it’s their job. And what do you think they sacrificed?”

“They paid for my accounting school. Well, the first two years. Then I worked.”

Roxie laughs. “My parents paid for my college after I’d lost my scholarship. I don’t think I owe them my life. Even though my father never fails to mention that it took me several years to pay them back.”

My eyes widen. “You paid them back?”

“Yeah. I didn’t want it hanging over me. It still does, though. Dad continues to bring it up all the time. All it does is make me want to spend less time with them.”

“Wow, I didn’t think about paying them back. I could do that.”

“Yes. And with your good job, you can buy them stuff. Every time you feel guilty, buy them something nice. You’ll feel better.”

I smile. “Not a bad idea. But it’s not just that, honestly.” I sit back and cross my arms. “It’s that they made such a nice, cozy life for us in St. Cloud. The three of us, with spouses and our own kids, all in St. Cloud, all working for Dad’s shop. That was my folks’ dream. They mentioned it many times when I was growing up. It felt magical. Cozy. And safe.”

“And they can still have their dream. Most of it, anyway. You can be a loving daughter and still live your life. You can go visit them and call them and send them pics of grandkids and live your own life. You don’t have to live their dream. You can have your own.”

I sigh. “I thought it was mine, too. It was such a nice dream. My kids and all their cousins, uncles, and grandparents nearby.”

Roxie smiles. “That does sound nice.”

“Right? And now I am here, doing God knows what.”

“You’re not doing anything bad, Liz. You’re an adult. It’s okay to try and find your place in the world.”

I wring my hands. “I feel I’m being selfish. I feel I’m letting everyone down.”

It’s Roxie’s turn to sit back and cross her arms. “Has anyone ever asked you what you want? Including yourself?”