Page 118

“Yeah,” I say, pushing my half-wet hair behind my ear. “I think she’s in better form than me, though.”

He chuckles. “You sent me a nice text last night.”

I shake my head. It still feels like something is rattling in there. “I don’t remember. And I have no idea where my phone is, honestly.”

Joe gets up and points to a bag of rice. “Apparently, you dropped it into the toilet last night. It’s been drying since. According to Roxie.”

I plop on the chair by the kitchen island. “What’s going on, Joe? Why did you blow me off?”

“I didn’t. I texted you to ask if I could come over last night, but I guess you and Rox were already three sheets to the wind.”

“I felt like shit and needed a distraction.”

“I know. And I’m sorry.” He grabs my upper arms and rubs them.

The low throb in my head momentarily distracts me. “Do you mind if we continue this after I have some coffee? I’m really not all there yet.”

“Not a problem. Let me make you some eggs. I did it for Roxie earlier,” he says and rounds the kitchen island.

I don’t have it in me to protest, and I’m really hungry. He pours me a cup of coffee, which I clutch greedily. We don’t talk while I sip and he works on the food.

The scrambled eggs come out fluffy and salted just right. “This is really good,” I say.

He watches me eat from across the kitchen island, his eyes warm and a little concerned.

“So what happened on Thursday?” I ask, still chewing. “With Lance, I mean.”

“Yeah, that.” Joe takes a step back and leans against the sink, rubbing his head. “He told me some stuff about his marriage. And then he told me Kim was having a baby.”

I almost spit out my food. It takes me a second to compose myself, but then I drop my fork and round the island because I have to put my hands on him. “I can’t imagine how that felt for you,” I say as I reach for his neck.

“Yeah.” He wraps his hands around me. We stand like that for a while. “I have to admit, I flipped out at him a little when he told me. I went home pretty early.”

I hate hearing about Kim. I really do. I know it’s important to him, but whenever she comes up, I feel like he’s not over her yet.

“Joe—” I ask softly and pull away slightly. “Are you still in love with her?”

His eyebrows shoot way up. “What? No! No, of course not.”

“Are you sure? Because that reaction you had—”

“Look, that’s what I’ve spent the last two days or so trying to figure out. What it was that ticked me off so much.”

I swallow hard and take a step away from him. Crossing my arms, I lean against the island. He stays back against the sink. We’re still close enough to touch, but I need the small chasm between us. “And? What did you find out?”

“I went to her social media, which I hadn’t done in ages, and pulled up some of her newer pictures. I waited for a pang of something—jealousy, even nostalgia—but there was nothing. She was just somebody that I used to know. She seems happy with the new guy.”

“Oh-kay,” I say. “And?”

“I actually went to see my therapist. I was lucky to be able to see her on such a short notice. We chatted about the relationship between Kim and me. And then she asked me about you.”

“Oh.” My throat feels tight. “And what did you say?”

“The thing between Kim and me was never quite right,” he says. “I think, deep down, she and I knew it, and maybe that’s why she wasn’t all in. But I couldn’t see it then.” He steps toward me. “I couldn’t see it because I didn’t know what it meant when things felt exactly right. In every way.” He grabs me by the upper arms. “You feel right in every way, Liz. In every fucking way.”

I can feel myself welling up and have to rub my eyes. “Why didn’t you come to tell me that last night?”

“I tried,” he says. “I sent you a bunch of texts in the evening, but I guess you and Roxie started early and partied hard.”