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“Haven’t forgotten, but you can have Zeb. Alec’s got my eye.” I lean in close, opening my heart to the one person who will never betray me.
Kaye gets me like a sister. We share all our dirty secrets.
“He’s got this wild, animalistic thing going on.” My insides still throb from the pounding he gave me in the bathroom. “I get a very sexy, Fifty Shades kind of vibe from him. If you know what I mean.” I wriggle my brows while Kaye rolls her eyes.
Why is it so easy to say something like that to Kaye, when there’s no way in hell I’ll ever admit something like that to Alec?
Putting my problems to the side, I focus on hers, doing the best I can to encourage a relationship with Zeb.
“Having your own Guardian around might help with Professor Douchebag.” Doesn’t she see how Zeb is a good thing?
“There’s something about Scott.” She nibbles at her lower lip. It’s something she does when she’s worried, or frightened.
“What do you mean?”
“I swear I saw him outside. Watching me.”
“Stalking you? The man’s deranged.” My fingers curl into fists. “Hooking up with Zeb might not be such a bad idea.” I’ll do whatever I can to support Kaye, but she needs someone like Zeb to help with her asshole professor. “Did you hear we’re going to be surrounded by Guardians?”
“Zeb mentioned something about 24/7 protection.”
“Yeah.” I pause for a second, thinking about Carmen and Rosalie. “I can’t even begin to grasp what the two of them have been through.” A chill races down my spine, making me shudder. “It’s horrifying.”
We talk a bit more about Zeb. I do my best to encourage Kaye to take a leap of faith. After Scott’s betrayal, she’s sworn off men. I think some of that is mirrored off what happened between me and Steffen when we were freshmen.
Steffen cheated on me, and that hurt. It hurt a lot. But it’s what he did afterwards, leaking the sex tapes he made of us, things we did together that he never should’ve made videos of, things I never consented to… It’s hard to recover from something like that.
He made that first year at UCSF a living nightmare. It was only after I fucked one of the computer science nerds that I regained some semblance of normalcy. I traded sex for a favor. The videos disappeared from—well, from everywhere.
There were still those who knew. Still those who teased and tormented me. But Steffen got it in the end. I did another trade of favors and guess who didn’t graduate with the rest of us?
I basically weaponized sex.
I don’t like playing dirty, but if someone comes at me the way Steffen did, then I’m going to fight back. It just took a while to figure out that I could. That I wasn’t a helpless victim.
Not me. I’m far from helpless.
I was—I am a victim of what Steffen did, but I grew fangs and lashed out. I also swore off relationships. Not men and relationships, like Kaye claims. Just the messy relationship thing. I like dick just fine.
“Ladies…” Carmen’s sweet voice pulls Kaye and I from our conversation about men. “How’s it going?” She peeks into my room.
“How’s Rosalie?” Kaye stops, concerned for the newest addition to our little family.
“She’s good. Almost moved in.”
Kaye and I are both concerned about what happened to Carmen and Rosalie. After their return to the States, we’ve only spoken to Carmen by phone. We really haven’t had a chance to sit down and hash through things.
“And you?” I trade stares with Kaye. We’re both waiting for the fallout from what Carmen endured—is still enduring.
“I’m good.”
Not that I know whether Carmen wants to sift through her damaged life. Poor thing lost everything. Her home. Her father. Her belief he’s good. The man is a pestilence on this earth and deserves to die a very horrible death after all the lives he ruined.
Kaye tries to gently pry, but Carmen doesn’t appear traumatized. She looks to be adjusting very well. I pat the bed beside me, and Carmen sits beside Kaye.
We talk a little about their decision to move off Guardian HQ grounds and back to the townhouse.
“We’re going to be fine.” Carmen pulls us in for a hug. “And I can’t wait for you to get to know Rosalie better… She needs normal. I thought moving in would help with that and thought maybe we could all go out tonight?”