Page 109

“How are you feeling?” I wrap my arm around her waist and pull her in for a hug.
“Tired. Exhilarated. Sad. Joyful.” She leans against me, placing her cheek against my chest. “Am I a bad person because I’m glad he’s dead?”
I’ve yet to tell her who pulled the trigger. Although, I think she knows it was me.
“He was a horrible human being, and the world is a better place without him.”
“I overheard what people were saying about Carmen’s dad. Should I tell her? Or should I wait and let…” She makes a vague reference to those around us.
“I don’t know, but if you were Carmen, who would you want to hear something like that from?”
“It would be great to see the girls, but I don’t know if I’m ready for all that energy.”
“How about you stay at my place tonight, and we’ll bring them down in the morning and do a debrief?”
“That sounds wonderful.” With Barbi deciding to stay with me, we head to my place and crash. We’re exhausted, battered but unbroken. Our torture is still fresh, the echo of our imprisonment not yet silenced. Our intimacy is deeper than it was before.
While our passion and desire for each other remains, our intimacy surpasses rough and wild sex. Now, it’s also about connection, comfort, and solace. Holding Barbi's hand feels more intimate to me than a fervent embrace.
When nightmares rouse Barbi from her sleep, I hold her close, and we find solace in the fact we’re no longer in those horrible cells.
The next morning, I take Barbi to The Facility, a place of healing and understanding, a haven for the victims of unimaginable horrors. The Facility, with its promise of healing and a fresh start, finds my thoughts turning toward Rebel and the questions she asked.
Something is brewing with her, an unknown factor, a wild card in our well-ordered world. Who is she? Why is she so interested in our operations?
In our line of work, mysteries and secrets are as common as bullets and danger. But Rebel isn’t a usual enigma. Her questions have a purpose and intention. Only time will reveal her true colors.
For the moment, my focus is on Barbi and her recovery. Her desire to obtain her law degree, and her wish to be a part of the Guardians, is a beacon of hope in the grim aftermath of the recent events. For now, the healing of her trauma and the promise of a future with her, is all that matters.
As we walk through the entrance of The Facility, Barbi looks at me, a mix of apprehension and determination in her eyes.
“Do you think I need this?”
“Anyone who’s been through what you’ve been through should at least see if this is something they need. Honestly, no one endures what you went through and walks away unscathed. It’s a great place with amazing people who are experts in helping people who endured the unimaginable. Try it out and see if you think it helps. There’s no obligation to stay.”
“And what about you? Do you get the same kind of therapy?”
“Yes and no.”
“What does that mean?”
“My training makes me resilient when it comes to things like this, not that I’m immune. I have several sessions with one of our psychologists to go over what happened and ensure I’m battle ready.” My battle is different from hers, a reckoning with the darker aspect of my nature and the satisfaction I derived from something that should fill me with regret.
I wasn't prepared for the disturbing gratification when I killed Artemus Gonzales.
“Oh, then that’s good. I’m glad you’re getting help too.”
I don’t argue with that. I need to confront my demons and find a way to move forward. For me, however, my demons aren’t what I faced in that cell, or the interrogation chamber. It’s in the satisfaction I felt when I pulled that trigger. I’ve got shit to work through, but it’s different from what Barbi needs to process.
I squeeze her hand, my voice filled with unwavering support. “I’ll be right here with you, every step of the way.”
“And all the steps that follow.” She smiles, a glimmer of hope returning to her gaze. “I want to use my law degree to help others, to fight against the darkness that the Guardians face. Do you think there might be a place for me with the Guardians?”
“I don’t see why not.” Her aspirations to use her law degree as a sword against the injustice of human trafficking fills me with pride.
The road to healing won’t be easy, but together, we’ll face it with strength, resilience, and our unbreakable bond.
Kaye, Carmen, and Rosalie are survivors, just like her. Their bond is unbreakable and the experiences they share will only help each of them to move past their trauma. Barbi’s lucky when it comes to that. Not all the women we rescue have a built-in support group.