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Story: Make Your Change

“Oh, thank god,” I let out a sigh of relief, a chuckle vibrating in my chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner. You know this is all new to me. Feelings aren’t exactly my thing, but I’m trying. I’m learning how to be more in touch with them and honest with myself and everyone around me.”

She slowly nods, her hands moving down to my shoulders. “I know. We’re all a work in progress, constantly changing and learning.” The smile that lifts her lips has my heart melting inside my chest. “I’m proud of you. And I’m glad you decided to take a chance and tell me the truth.”

“The thought of you and Matteo leaving has been eating me inside.” I roll my lips between my teeth, my chest expanding as I inhale deeply. “I understand if the two of you can’t stay here, but I really wish you’d reconsider.”

Her eyebrows pull together once more. “What about my job?”

“I know that working is important to you,” I tell her, nodding slowly. “I would never ask you to give up your life or any part of yourself for me.” My throat bobs. “I know exactly what that feels like, but since you and Matteo have been here, I’ve realized that the things I thought were important really aren’t. I’ve devoted my entire life to my career, but at the end of the day, it’s just that. It’s just a job. One day I’ll retire and then it will be time to turn the page.”

She tilts her head to the side. “What are you saying?”

“You and Matteo are more important to me than hockey.”

She searches my face before settling on my eyes once more. “Stand up.”

My forehead creases, but I don’t object. I do exactly as she says, rising to my feet, taking a step back so I can look at her. She gets out of her seat, standing upright as she inches closer. She lifts her hands to circle them around the back of my neck, her head tilting back to look at me.

My hands find her hips and I slide them around her lower back, pulling her flush to me.

“I’m still going to go back to Starling Ridge tomorrow,” she says, her voice soft as her eyes burn through mine. My stomach sinks. “But I don’t plan on staying there.” She breathes out a gentle chuckle and my heart pounds with a hopefulness inside of my chest. “I want you to come with me and then we will all come back here. Back home.”

“You don’t want to stay there?”

She shakes her head, a smile lifting her lips. “You’re right. It’s just a job and I can find a new one here.” Her eyes shine back at me. “This is where we need to be. Here, with you.” She pauses for a beat. “I want you to come with me and meet my family. I'd like to quit my job in person and then Matteo and I can pack the rest of our things.”

“You want to live here with me?” My heart crawls into my throat. “Like officially live here, permanently?”

“Yes,” she lets out a soft laugh. “You’re the one, Carson.”

“Fuck, I love you,” I say in a rush, lifting a hand to cup her chin. I drag my thumb over her bottom lip before sliding my hand along her jaw. My face drops down to hers, lips crashing like the waves along the shore. “I want to be the man you deserve,” I murmur against her mouth. Goddamn, she’s everything to me. “I want to give you the world.”

She slowly pulls back, eyes gazing directly into my soul. “You already have.” A smile lifts her lips, happiness dancing across her expression. “You gave me Matteo and now I have you too.”

“You’ll always have me,” I promise, inching closer as my lips connect with her forehead. My eyelids flutter shut, breathing in her intoxicating scent. I don’t mean always in a way that implies that I’m invincible. I mean it in the way that I’ll be here with her, every damn day, fighting for us. “I promise you that.”

“I hope so,” she breathes, wrapping her arms tightly around my body as she buries her face against my chest. “That’s everything I could ever want.”

I hold her tightly, our bodies fuzing together as I hold her in the silence. My mind drifts to my brother, to the way he used to look at Amelia. To how he’ll never get to hold her like this again.

Love is never a guarantee. It’s a gamble and a risk, but it’s one we have to be willing to take. Without love, what is life? I know the one I was living before her and it was lonely. I know that we will face trials and tribulations together, but none of that matters to me. I want her here, I want her with me.

We stand there together, quiet and steady.

Neither of us know what will come next. Neither of us can possibly know what the future holds, but as long as I have her, none of that matters. She is what I want, all I need. I’m going to hold onto her for as long as I can.

And I’m going to love her until I’m nothing but ashes and dust.

EPILOGUE

ANDI

ONE YEAR LATER

Ilove quiet Sundays in the off-season with both of my guys.

No media, no team obligations. It’s the kind of rare, perfect day we don’t get during the hockey season. The kind where our little family gets to soak in the moments together. Soft and unhurried.

Carson first brought Matteo and me to Garnet Hollow last summer to spend time on the lake. It’s a place his family always visited and he wanted to buy a home there to spend our summers together.