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“I’ll clear my whole fucking schedule.” His face is set in a neutral state, no smile or scowl, no anger or even sadness. It’s as if he’s shut off the part of his brain that feels emotions and is just focused on the business at hand.

“That’s not necessary, Carson.” I shake my head at him, the guilt piling up inside my chest. My lungs don’t expand like I need them to and it feels like the walls of the store are creeping closer. “You don’t need to stop your life.”

His eyes are unreadable as he stares at me, the silence stretching. His nostrils widen as he runs his tongue over his top teeth. He breaks our star down first; his gaze drifts to Matteo before flashing back to mine. “Does he know?”

Drawing my bottom lip between my teeth, I bite down and shake my head at him. Matteo brought it up a few months ago, when he was starting to understand the world moving around him. His preschool had Dad’s day and he was confused when the other men showed up and no one showed up for him. I’ve been able to field his questions, giving him minimal information.

When he asked about his dad and why he didn’t have one in his life, I just told him that he lived far away. He’s far too young for me to tell him the truth and thankfully, he hasn’t asked many questions since.

“I’m supposed to be at practice in an hour.” Carson shifts his weight, clearly uncomfortable with his emotions and feelingscreating chaos in his mind. The conflict is evident on his face and he speaks like he’s considering finding a way to get out of it.

Him derailing his entire life is not going to be good for anyone.

“Did you want to come by after you’re done?” I ask him, offering it as a solution, that way he doesn’t end up missing practice. “We can talk about everything then.”

He’s silent for a beat, his eyes slowly searching mine. For a moment, he’s caught in a daze before he snaps out of it. His head bobs up and down. “Okay, let’s do that.” He reaches into his pocket, pulling his phone back out. “What’s your number? I’ll text you and you can send me the address then.”

I recite the number to him, watching as he types it in. A sound chimes from where Matteo is still standing, holding mine. He looks up at me, a smile dancing across his lips. “Here, Mom,” he says, holding my phone to me. “You got a message.”

“Thanks,caro. I’ll look at it later.” I look back at Carson and find nothing but the torment and pain he can no longer hold back as he watches Matteo and me carefully. “We’ll see you later this afternoon then?”

Carson’s attention snaps back to me, his lips parting as if he’s going to say something, but instead, he rolls them between his teeth, biting back whatever words he almost spoke. “Okay,” he nods, his voice barely audible. “See you then.”

He lingers for a moment, studying us as I hold my hand out for Matteo. He slips his little palm against mine, wrapping his fingers around the side of my hand as I lead him in the opposite direction. I can still feel Carson’s gaze on my back and it’s like I carry it with me as Matteo and I continue on through the store.

I move on autopilot through the rest of our shopping trip and before I know it, I’m sitting behind the wheel of my car, staring at Matteo through the rearview mirror. It’s been six years sinceI’ve seen Carson and that man has aged like the finest of wines. He looks a bit older but his features are still the same.

And as I study Matteo through the mirror, it’s clear to see there was never any denying of who his father is. I’ve known it all along, but after comparing the two of them side by side, it’s as plain as day.

MatteoisCarson Ford’s son.

CHAPTER FIVE

CARSON

My skates cut through the ice, the edges of my blades shaving the top layer as I come to a halt next to my brother. I can feel his stare on the side of my face. “What’s going on with you today, Cars? Something is up.”

What the hell am I supposed to tell him? I set out this morning to grab something for dinner tonight and ended up leaving with the knowledge of potentially being a father.

This entire time, the woman I’ve been hung up on had a kid and I didn’t even know about it.

“I—” my voice trails off, which is becoming a common trend today. It seems as though I cannot form a coherent thought or sentence to save my life. “Nothing’s going on,” I lie, the words bitter on my tongue as I shake my head at him. “I’m good.”

He raises an eyebrow at me, pursing his lips with disapproval. My older brother knows me better than anyone else. He knows when I’m lying and can tell when I’m not good. “You’re playing like shit. Our first playoff game is in two days, so you need to get your head out of your ass.”

I nod, my chin dipping towards my chest and up again. He’s not wrong. I missed every single shot I took today and got knocked on my ass multiple times. We need to be performingour best right now and I didn’t do that today. It was only practice, but I know I let the team down and I can’t have that happen during our playoff run.

Caleb leaves me where I’m standing on the ice and he begins to follow the rest of the guys to the door. When he gets a few feet away, my feet move. I don’t know what the hell I’m going to tell him, but I need to talk to someone about this. It’s eating away at me and it’s only been three fucking hours since I ran into Andi and her son.

“Cale, wait,” I call out to my brother, using the nickname I’ve used for him since we were kids, slowing to a glide when I reach him. “Can we talk after we get changed?”

He turns his head to the side, his all too familiar gray eyes meet mine as he gives me a single nod. “I’ll meet you in the car park.” He doesn’t wait up for me as he heads off the ice, all of us making our way back to the locker room.

My brother isn’t an asshole, he just has a rough exterior. He’s always been very direct and to the point. He doesn’t beat around the bush and he’s a pretty simple person. When he lost Amelia a few years ago, he really struggled to get himself together. He was left with an infant daughter to raise alone and it really forced him to come out of his comfort zone a bit.

He’s never been one to accept help from other people but when his life was turned upside down, he had no other choice. Everyone rallied around him, helping him navigate the different territory he was thrust into. There’s a softness to him, but it’s mostly only reserved for my niece. Tella is that man’s heart and soul.

I don’t imagine he’ll ever get involved with someone else again, which is probably for the best for him. It takes a lot for Caleb to open up and even then, there’s still a part of him he always keeps guarded. I see right through his bullshit, just like he sees right through mine.