Page 26

“I know,” I tell her, letting out an exasperated sigh. I’m exhausted from the emotional toll these last few days have taken on me. I feel better knowing the truth, but now I find myself desperately wanting to be home.

The cup is always the end goal of every season, so this is a really conflicting feeling for me. I should want to be here with the guys, fighting every battle...and I do. I just also want to be home.

“Can I be honest with you about something?” her voice breaks through my internal turmoil.

“Please.”

“There was a part of me that was glad when I wasn’t able to get in contact with you. The last thing I wanted to do was to throw a wrench in your life and your career. My brother played D1 hockey, but didn’t make it pro. I know what you guys have sacrificed to get to where you are.” She pauses, a soft sigh leavingher. “I didn’t want to ruin your life then and I don’t want to ruin it now.”

“You’re not ruining it,” I assure her, my eyebrows inching closer to one another. “I promise you.”

“Then I need you to go out there and get your head in the game. You have to pull through for your team and forget about Matteo and me. I will not let him be the reason behind you blowing a shot at the cup for you and your guys.”

Goddamn, who taught this woman to talk like a hard-ass coach?

“I won’t.”

“Good,” she says after a beat, her tone softening. “If you want to see Matteo or talk about anything, we’re both here. I just don’t want you worrying about the logistics of everything until after the playoffs.”

“I appreciate that,” I tell her, my voice barely audible as emotion washes over me again. She’s more concerned about my feelings and my mental wellbeing than I think anyone ever has been in my life. Well, maybe except for my therapist, but I was paying her to care.

The glass door slides open and my brother pauses in the doorway, tilting his head to the side as he scratches his forehead.

“I’ll call you when I’m back in town.” I pause, lifting my shoulders at him as he steps out onto the balcony and closes the door behind him. He walks over to the chairs, taking a seat in the closest one. “Let me know how it goes when you tell him.”

“I will.” She falls silent. “Bye, Carson.”

“Bye.”

Caleb watches me carefully as I pull my phone away from my ear, locking the screen before slipping it into the pocket of my shorts. “Was that her?”

Running my tongue across my top teeth, I nod. “The lab called me.”

“Oh, shit.”

I walk over to the seat next to him, lowering myself down onto it as a ragged breath escapes me. “The kid is mine.”

Caleb is silent for a moment. “Are we happy about it?”

“I think so,” I tell him, swallowing my emotion. “A little shocked and a lot fucking terrified, but I think I’m happy, too.”

Caleb sighs and reaches over to clasps his hand over my shoulder and give me a squeeze. “It’s okay, Carsy. It will be okay.”

“I have no fucking idea what I’m doing here, man.” I shake my head, Caleb removes his hand and I drop my head down into my hands. “I don’t know how to raise a kid.”

“Well, thankfully you don’t have to do it alone,” he says quietly as sadness is injected into the atmosphere around us. “What I meant is you have me. I’ve been doing this long enough to know a thing or two. I got your back, little bro. You’ll never have to do anything alone, as long as I’m still here breathing.”

Lifting my head, I turn it to the side, my eyes finding my brother’s. “Thanks, Cale.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” he says, nodding his head at me. “How did your call with her go? What is her name?”

“Andi,” I tell him, pausing to chew on the inside of my cheek. “The call was fine. She’s actually quite pleasant and understanding...and feels guilty for me not knowing sooner.”

“As she should,” he says with simplicity and a bit of hardness in his tone. “Is she someone you think you’ll be able to co-parent with?”

I nod. “She suggested getting a custody agreement so we have things set in stone and to also give me peace of mind.”

Caleb watches me, a look of surprise passing through his irises. “Okay, that’s a good start. It sounds like she wants you to be in the kid’s life.”