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He’s silent, his eyes slowly searching mine. “Quit your job, Andi.”

“What? No, I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” His voice is hoarse and his tone is off. There’s a desperation lingering in his tone, but he doesn’t dare speak on it.

“Because it’s my job. It’s how I pay my bills.” I pause, snorting as I shake my head. “What would I do if I quit my job?”

“Stay here with me.” His throat bobs as he swallows. “You could find a job here or do whatever you want to do.”

My breath catches in my throat, my heart stalling in my chest. When Carson said Matteo and I should stay indefinitely, I thought he was saying it from a place of emotion. Like he was caught up in the moment, but that it wasn’t something he truly felt or meant.

“I don’t know, Carson.” I let out the breath I didn’t realize I had been holding. “That’s a really drastic thing to do on a whim.”

“It’s not a whim,” he presses, lifting both hands to cup the sides of my face. “I want you here. I want you both here with me. We can figure it all out.”

My heart stumbles over itself. It’s a nice thought and honestly, it’s exactly what I want to hear from him, but I can’t blindly trust a nice thought. “What happens when you decide you don’t want a relationship? What happens when things don’t work out between us and then I have to start over for a second time in Aston?”

He wets his lips. “What if I do want a relationship? What if I want more with you?”

“Is that really what you want?”

He hesitates and my stomach fucking drops to the floor. “I think it is.”

I shake my head at him, gently pushing him away as I slide off the counter, my feet hit the floor with a thud. “I can’t uproot our lives because you think youmightwant a relationship with me.” I give him a small, sad smile. “I need you to know that you want us, that you want me, Carson. I can’t accept anything less than that and this bullshit of you thinking you can’t give me what I deserve is exactly that—bullshit.”

“Andi, wait,” he says, reaching for me as I breeze past him. “I do want you, I want more with you. The thought of having to balance you and Matteo and hockey is fucking intimidating as hell, but I want to do it. I’ll do whatever I have to do to make this work.”

Rolling my lips between my teeth, I bite down and shake my head. I take a chance, closing the distance between us, and reach up to cup the sides of his face. “I need you to take some time and think about what you really want. I won’t be mad at you if you decide it isn’t me, but I need you to be honest with yourself and with me.”

I let my hands fall away from the sides of his face. My arms hang heavy at my sides.

“Andi,” he says softly, longing in his tone, eyes desperately searching mine.

I press two fingers to his lips. “Not now,” I tell him, my heart breaking as I force a smile. “I don’t want you to make a rash decision in the moment.”

“I don’t need time to think.”

“Well, I need you to take the time.”

Conflict washes over his expression, but he reluctantly nods. “Okay.”

He’s silent as I leave him in the kitchen, but he isn’t far behind me. I head to his bathroom, brush my teeth and slip into his room to get ready for bed. Carson comes in a few minutes later and he’s quiet as he follows suit and climbs into bed with me.

He doesn’t ask and I don’t push him away as he moves close to me until our bodies are flush together. The front of him pressed against the back of mine. He circles his arms around me, holding me tightly as he buries his face into my hair, waiting for sleep to pull us under.

And when it finally does, the only thing I dream of is him.

CHAPTER THIRTY

CARSON

“So, what did she say?”

I glance over at Matteo, standing on a chair beside me, holding onto a spatula as he tries to flip a pancake. Pancakes are one thing that I’ve found to be easy after helping Andi a few times, so Matteo and I decided on breakfast for dinner while Andi is meeting with the realtor.

I raise an eyebrow at him. “About what?”

“About us staying.” He plucks a small chocolate chip from where it fell from the bag onto the counter and pops it into his mouth. “You said you were going to ask her if we could just stay here instead of going home.”