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I swallow. “Just for a few months, until we get the house ready to go on the market. With Matteo starting school in the fall, I don’t imagine we will be here all summer.”

Carson adjusts in his seat. “Okay, so we can take things slow while you're here in town, but what happens after you leave? How do we go about things then?” There’s a touch of worry in histone and I just want to wash it away. He doesn’t have to worry about any more missed time with his son.

“Honestly, I'm not sure because of how often you have to travel and how demanding your schedule is. It's not like we can do a normal agreement where you get him every other weekend and a few days during the week.” I let out a sigh. “This is not home for us, Carson. And I don’t know if driving back and forth is going to be best either.”

Carson stares at me. “I'll drive however far I have to, whenever I have to.”

Those words alone and the seriousness in his tone makes my heart stall inside of my chest.

He lets out a sigh and drops his head. “Fuck,” he mutters. He's silent again, and it stretches between us. I wring my hands in my lap, unsure of what to say or what to even do.

My life isn't here in Aston, but it could be if I wanted it to be. I could keep Bella’s house and move us here. We could establish a whole new life so he can have a relationship with his father.

It’s always an option, but on the other side of that coin, it means that I am disrupting, uprooting, and upending my entire life and the life that I've built in Starling Ridge.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't know what the best option or best solution is. “Do you think we should get a mediator involved?” I ask him, a frown tugging my lips downward. “Perhaps an outside party could offer us a different perspective.”

Carson lets out another breath before he lifts his head and shakes it. “No. I think we can figure it out ourselves.” He pauses, leaning forward as he rests his tattooed arms on his thighs. I want to study them and the intricate designs, but I know that now isn’t the time. “You’re only about two hours from here, right?”

I nod. “That’s correct.”

“I’ll drive back and forth to see him.”

My eyebrows draw inward. “How will that work with practice and games?”

“I'm willing to try whatever I have to do, Andi.” His expression cracks. “I just want time with him. I just want to get to know him, to watch him grow up. I just—” He pauses, letting out another ragged breath. “I just want to be a part of his life.”

“I want you to be a part of it too,” I tell him with nothing but honesty. “I could always move here to Aston.” The words tumble from my lips before I even realize what I’m saying.t

Carson immediately shuts that idea down. “I can't ask you to do that. It's not fair to you.”

“None of this is fair to anyone.”

“I'll come to you guys.” He tells me, nodding with resignation. “I can find an apartment there and I’ll drive back and forth. I’ll stay in Aston when I have to.”

“That won't work with your schedule and you know that,” I remind him again.

“I don't fucking care, Andi.” He says his voice dropping to a tone that's almost unrecognizable. It's laced with pain and fear, regret and remorse. “Sorry, I’m frustrated and shouldn’t be projecting onto you.”

“It’s okay,” I tell him as I lean forward and reach for his hand. I give him a gentle squeeze as he wraps his fingers around mine. His palm is soft and warm against my skin. “I think tensions are high right now and maybe we both need to take a step away from this for a bit. We can each write down how we would like custody to look and when it’s time, we can take it to our lawyers.”

He’s silent for a second. “Okay.” His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows roughly. “I have no choice but to trust you right now. The last thing I want to do is make Matteo uncomfortable and for you to feel as if he’s not safe with me, so I will do what I have to do to show you that you can trust me too.”

My heart fractures. “I don’t want to keep him from you.”

Emotion swims in his eyes and he gives me a curt nod. “I know.”

I slowly rise to my feet, reaching for his hand to pull him with me. “Come with me.”

He doesn’t resist and stands up, letting me lead him towards the kitchen doorway. It registers in my mind that I’m still holding his hand and I quickly drop it, heat creeping up my neck and spreading across my face. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“Water would be nice.”

I motion for him to sit at the island as I grab him a bottle and set it in front of him. He takes a seat, unscrewing the top as I open the drawer in front of me and pull out a pen and a notepad. I rip off one sheet and hand it to him along with a writing utensil and give one to myself.

“Let’s write down our plans.” The corners of my lips lift as I momentarily get lost in the gray hues of his eyes. “I want this to work. I want you and Matteo to have the relationship you both deserve to have.”

“He’s a great kid,” he says softly, his voice barely audible as his eyes burn holes through mine.