Page 37
Story: Make Your Change
“I’m glad the two of you ran into each other again.” She pauses, her eyebrows pulling together. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.” I swallow back my anxiety about what she might ask. There’s something heavy behind her eyes, but I don’t dare try to figure out what the emotions may be.
“If you wouldn’t have run into him, would you have tried to get in touch with him?” She corkscrews her lips. “I know it’s none of my business and I don’t know what all has gone down with you and Carson, but he’s family.”
“I tried to get in touch with him when I found out I was pregnant.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “He was completely unreachable. I planned on trying to find a way after we got settled in Aston.”
“There you are,” Carson says softly, his voice a warm embrace as he instinctively presses his hand against the small ofmy back. My body instantly relaxes against him, reveling in the warmth of his palm through my shirt.
“Hey,” I say, my voice catching in my throat as I turn around to face Carson and Matteo. “I was just talking to Nova about the two of you.”
Carson looks at Nova, raising an eyebrow in question at her. She doesn’t give anything away as she glances out at the ice and then back at us. “I didn’t even realize the period was over.” She steps over to her daughter and Caleb’s. “Come on, girls. Let’s go get dessert.”
“Dessert?” Matteo’s face lights up. He looks between Carson and me. “Can we go too?”
Nova walks back over. “He can come with us, if that’s okay with you two. They have dessert options during the second intermission. We were going to go grab something and come back up.”
“Do they have anything without dairy?” Carson questions her before I get the chance to say anything. “Matteo doesn’t tolerate dairy well.” He glances at me. “Right?”
I nod. Carson and I haven’t talked about it, but when we saw Carson at the store, he helped Matteo pick out a vegan mac and cheese. Matteo told him that milk hurts his stomach. “He’s lactose intolerant.”
“They have some options,” Nova smiles, glancing at Matteo and back to us. Her daughter pulls on her arm. “Hold on, Posey.” Nova looks at me again. “I promise he won’t have any dairy and I’ll bring him right back.”
“I’m fine with that,” I smile and turn to Carson. “Are you okay with that?”
He stares at me, emotion filling his eyes as I wait for his approval. He gets to have as much of a say as I do. It’s not just Matteo and me anymore.
“I am,” Carson says softly, tipping his head at Nova. She looks between the two of us before motioning for Matteo to follow along with her and the girls. I watch him as he falls in step with Estella, the two of them looking almost as if they could be siblings. “Thank you for that.”
I turn to Carson. His eyes slowly search mine, gratitude and perhaps awe linger in his. “He’s your son, too. You get as much of a say as I do.”
“Was it hard?”
My eyebrows pull together. “Was what hard?”
Carson’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows roughly. “Doing everything as a single mom.” He lets out a breath and rakes a hand through his tousled hair. “I can’t imagine it was easy and if I’m being honest, I feel like an asshole thinking about you doing it all alone while I was just out living my life.”
Emotions well in my chest and cause my ribcage to constrict around my heart. “Don’t feel like an asshole, Carson. You didn’t know.” I pause, shifting my weight on my feet. “It was hard at times, but my family is very supportive and they helped me when I needed it.”
He chews on the inside of his cheek for a beat. “Good,” he says, tipping his chin. “I’m glad you had them.”
I stare at him for a moment. Though he tries to hide it, I catch the torment wash over him. I close the distance between us, reach out for his hand and squeeze gently when mine finds his.“I know that you would have been there if you knew.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, then sighs out a breath after a moment of silence passes. “I wish I would have known.”
“Me too,” I tell him, my voice barely above a whisper as I squeeze him again and nod. “I’m glad you know now and that we—I mean, he has you in his life.”
His eyes crinkle with the ghost of a smile dancing across his face as he shifts his hand, wraps his fingers around mine, andsqueezes back. “Me too, Trouble.” Electricity crackles in the air between us. “Me too.”
My heart crawls into my throat and I force it back into my chest. He doesn’t release my hand and I revel in his warmth. It spreads up my forearm like wildfire. He may be agreeing with me on Matteo, but his eyes imply he’s not only talking about our son.
The lingering stare, the way he caresses my hand . . .
Maybe he feels it too—or I’m severely delusional.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
CARSON
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