Page 32

Carson turns to look at me, his eyes scanning my face with an unreadable expression on his. "It’s not a mess, Andi.”

My lips part to argue, but I close them as I watch the two of them settle on the floor around the coffee table. Matteo unloads his armfuls of dinosaurs and Carson takes a seat on the ground next to him. I keep my thoughts to myself as Matteo’s voice fills the empty space.

He starts to show Carson his different dinosaurs and tells him all their names. Carson watches him intently, nodding along as he takes each toy that Matteo hands to him.

There’s an armchair across from the couch and my eyes never leave the two of them as I lower myself into the chair. It’s a candid moment I never thought I’d get to witness. Carson hangs on to every word Matteo says, his eyes glued to Matteo. Matteo talks excitedly and I love seeing him like this.

He’s getting to share pieces of himself and the things he likes with Carson. My heart splinters a bit as I watch them knowing that this is something that they could have had for years now.

"What happened to your wrist?” Matteo asks Carson after a brief break in their conversation about dinosaurs.

Carson moves one of the dinosaurs across the table, knocking over one of the ones on Matteo's side, another smile pulling across his lips. “I broke it playing hockey the other day,” he explains, lifting his shoulders before letting them fall. “It happens sometimes.”

Matteo tilts his head to the side. “We were watching when that happened.” His forehead creases. “You came back on the ice, though.”

“I shouldn’t have,” he smirks with a wink. “I had to finish out the rest of the game and just worked through the pain. I’m all fixed up now, though. They put a few pins in my arm.” Carson leans closer to him, lowering his voice to more of a whisper. “I’m pretty much a robot now, but don’t tell anyone.”

Matteo’s face cracks and he erupts with laughter. The sweet sound fills the air as he tilts his head back. His body shakes and his eyes are bright as he straightens his spine and looks back at Carson. His expression is so serious. “I want pins so I can be a robot too.”

Carson chuckles, his head moving from side to side. “What if I told you that you can be a robot without pins?”

Matteo’s eyes widen. “Wait, really?”

“It’s top secret and it isn’t easy.” Carson glances at me, a playful glimmer in his eyes. “I’ll tell you sometime.”

Matteo moves one of his dinosaurs, making it roar before it trots across the table. “Matteo,caro,” I say, breaking through the sounds of him playing. “Can you go pick up your other toys in your room while Carson and I talk?”

Matteo looks at me, setting down his dinosaurs before nodding. "Okay, Mom." He’s such an easy kid and never cares to argue. He walks over to me, pausing as he looks back at Carson and then back to me. "Am I allowed to call him Dad?"

His words pull at my heart. I look at Carson, my eyes widening in the slightest before looking back, waiting for him to give me something, anything. Carson's eyes are equally wide. After a moment, he nods. I look back at Matteo. “You can call him whatever you'd like,caro.”

Matteo smiles and nods, looking over his shoulder at Carson. "I'll be back soon, Dad."

Carson’s lip part and a shallow breath escapes him. I watch as conflict washes over his expression. It mixes with other emotions. His tongue darts out, he lets his lips. "I'll be right here, bud."

Matteo disappears from the room, leaving Carson and me alone with our thoughts for a second. The heaviness hangs in the air, and he watches me carefully from across the room. I rise to my feet, closing the distance as I move over and sit down on the couch. Carson moves from the floor to sit on the other side of the couch.

“How are you actually feeling?” I question him, pulling my legs up underneath me.

He purses his lips, his nostrils widening. “Not being able to play sucks.”

“I meant your wrist.”

“Oh,” he says, dropping his gaze down to his arm before looking back at me. “Okay. It’s sore, but manageable with medication.”

“That’s good.” I stare at him for a second, letting out a breath. “I think we should talk about custody things.” I pause staring at him for a moment. “I have a few reservations about the entire situation.”

His eyebrows tug downward for a second before relaxing, not giving anything away. He tucks his lips between his teeth, nodding again. "Okay."

“I think we need to develop a plan to present to our lawyers, but I don’t feel comfortable doing that until I know that this is going to be a good thing for Matteo.” I fold my hands on my lap. “I’m not saying I don’t think Matteo will be safe with you, but I need to know for sure before agreeing to anything.”

I don’t know Carson well enough to determine whether or not my child is fully safe with him. I know nothing about his life, other than his extremely demanding work schedule.

“Okay," he says after a few seconds pass. His expression is unreadable, and I don't dare to dive into what could possibly be going on inside of that beautiful head of his.

“I have no intention of keeping you from your son,” I assure him again. “But I think we need to take things slowly. I think it would be best if we get to know each other better and I want to make sure that Matteo is comfortable.”

“How long are you planning to be in Aston?”