Page 24

“Hi,” a soft feminine voice sounds in my ear as I lift the phone to the side of my face and slowly sit down on one of the chairs facing the bustling city. “Is this Mr. Carson Ford?”

“Yes, this is him.” My voice starts out as strong, but there’s a hint of nervousness laced within my words.

“Hi, this is Janine from LabWorks. It was listed on the testing paperwork for us to give you a call with your results, along with emailing it to you.”

My nostrils flare, my lungs only expanding halfway. “Yes, that is correct.”

“Brilliant,” she says, her voice quiet yet steady. “After conducting our thorough analysis of the samples, it is determined that they are a match.”

I don’t hear much of what she says after that. My hand still holds my phone against the side of my face, however, I stare off into the distance, everything becoming unfocused as my gaze is locked to the horizon line. It’s almost as if my mind goes blank and the woman’s voice is drowned out by the sound of my blood rapidly pumping through my body.

“Mr. Ford.”

I hear her, but I can’t respond. It doesn’t fully register, like her words are simply floating past me.

“Mr. Ford, are you there?”

The second time she speaks my name, it pulls me out of the trance I’m caught in, abruptly pulling me back into reality. “I’m sorry, yes I’m here.”

“Do you have any questions?”

Unless she can help me figure out what the hell comes next, then no.

“No,” I tell her, my voice hoarse and thick with indistinguishable emotion. “Thank you.”

“Of course. I will send over the results via email and you should have them within the next few minutes.” She pauses for a second. “Thank you for using LabWorks. Please don’t hesitate to reach out with any questions you may have.”

I thank her again for her time, although the words are forced and feel robotic. She ends the call before me and I slowly lower my phone away from my face. Leaning forward, I plant myelbows against my knees, both hands holding the device between them as I stare out into the distance once again.

I’m not sure what I’m staring at or what I’m even thinking about at this point. I can’t even dissect any of my feelings right now. It’s like everything kind of meshes together in this weird combination of feeling everything at once, yet feeling nothing at the same time.

This is a total mind fuck and I severely underestimated how affected I would be by learning this information.

I’m a father...to a five year old I just met a few days ago.

My heart continues to race, my breathing growing shallower with every breath I take. The anxiety washes over me, leaving me momentarily frozen in place before my instincts kick in and I know I need to get it under control. Inhaling deeply, I exhale even longer, doing it multiple times to calm myself.

Now calm enough for my brain to work again, I sit back upright. I move my hands off the screen of my phone, abruptly unlock it and tap on the messages app. I need to tell Andi the results. She needs to know so we can figure out what the hell happens next.

How the hell am I supposed to navigate this while we're on the road for playoffs? I don’t know what I’m going to do. I don’t know what to do. This is all so fucked and unfamiliar, uncharted territory for me.

At this point, I think I need to invest in a therapist again.

Instead, I send Andi a message.

Carson

Hey. Do you have any time to talk today?

Andi

Sure. Is everything okay?

Carson

The lab called.

Andi