Page 25
Story: Make Your Change
I’m with a contractor right now. Give me a few minutes.
Carson
No rush. It can wait until later.
What a fucking lie. I would like to speak to her immediately, even though I have no idea what I’m going to say. It’s like ripping off a bandaid and I’d like to do it sooner than later.
Time stretches and I rise to my feet as I wait for Andi’s call. My heart has slowed down with the help of my controlled breathing, but my stomach still rolls with uneasiness. My feet eat up the small space of the balcony until my hands are resting on the railing.
My eyes scan the city streets beneath. The sun low in the sky reflects off the buildings and cars buzz down the roads. Everyone below moves with the hustle and bustle of their city lives and here I am. Watching life pass me by as I try to get a grip on my own.
My phone vibrates in my hand and I don’t bother to look at the screen before answering the call and lifting it to my ear.
“Hello?”
“Hey,” Andi’s voice is tender and quiet as it sounds through the speaker. It slides across my eardrum, soft as silk. “What did they say?”
A lump is lodged in my throat and I let out a breath, my Adam’s apple bobs as I swallow roughly. “Matteo is my son.”
Andi is silent for a moment. “I know.”
“You did,” I agree, my voice catching in my throat again. My eyebrows pull together as I stare down at a car, hearing it honkat the one in front of it. “Why didn’t you fight me for wanting to get a test done?”
“Because I’m a stranger to you and this is life changing information, Carson. You’re a professional athlete and I didn’t want you to think I was trying to take advantage of you.” She lets out a soft breath. “I knew the truth, but I also knew that if there’s concrete evidence, there’s nothing to dispute then.”
Her words swirl around in my brain, sinking deeply into the fibers of my mind. “I appreciate that,” I say, nodding, even though she can’t see me. I do appreciate it because she didn’t insist on me accepting her word without knowing for sure. “What do we do next?”
“You meant what you said?” she questions me, hope and surprise mixing in her tone. “You want to be involved in his life?”
“Well, yes,” I tell her without missing a beat. There’s no hesitation or any doubt in my mind. “You’ve done this all by yourself and you don’t have to anymore. Plus, I’ve got a lot of time to make up with him.”
Andi is silent again for a moment before she speaks. “I’m sorry, Carson. I’m so fucking sorry that you didn’t know sooner.”
“Shh, it’s okay. We don’t need to worry about that because focusing on what has already happened changes nothing. Let’s just worry about the future and what happens next, okay?”
“Okay,” she says softly, her voice barely audible. “Okay,” she says again, this time with more declaration in her tone.
“I want you to tell Matteo.”
“Without you?” she asks, the inquisition heavy in her words.
My head bobs and I turn around, leaning back against the railing as I stare at the side of the hotel. There’s movement on the other side of the glass, but I can’t see what my brother’s doing in there. “I think it would be best. I’m a total stranger to him and I don’t want to scare him by telling him together.”
“You’re right,” she agrees without hesitation. “I will find a good time to tell him and then when you’re back in town, we can get together and figure out how we want to move forward.”
“I just want to be involved. I want to be a part of his life.”
“I want you in his life too,” she admits, her voice tender, like a gentle embrace. “We can get a custody agreement, if that gives you a sense of security.”
Her statement hits me directly in the chest. The consideration lifts an immense amount of weight from my shoulders. It wasn’t something I had even thought about yet and she catches me off guard as she’s the one who suggests it.
“We can talk more about it then.”
She’s quiet for a beat. “Whatever you need, Carson. We will get this all figured out. You just put your head down and focus on the playoffs for now.”
I snort. “That’s easier said than done.”
“I know but it’s what you have to do right now.”
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