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“Yeah,” I say softly. “I told him to stop, but he wouldn’t.”
“Fuck,” Staph mutters under her breath. She turns away so I can’t see her face, but she’s shaking her head.
“No, all this is lie,” Ama snaps. “My Ah Guan is good boy, he is best boy. He will never do something like that!”
“No, Ama,” Staphanie says. “No. I’m sorry, but he would. Ah Guan was a sweetheart toward you, but he wasn’t a ‘good boy.’ I’m sorry, Ama.”
“No! What you know?” Ama cries. “You not know anything! Ah Guan always such good boy, always bringing me my favorite food, every Monday he grocery shopping for me from Ranch 99 market, always buy me good sausage and—”
“Bok choy, char siu bao, kangkung, soya milk,” Staphanie lists out.
Ama’s mouth stops moving, then closes as Staphanie continues rattling off a long list of grocery items.
“—Fuji apples,” Staphanie finishes. “Right?”
Ama just stares at her without answering.
“I know, Ama,” Staphanie says gently. “Because it was never Ah Guan doing it. It was me. It was always me. Ah Guan loved you in his own way, but he wasn’t reliable or caring or any of the things that you thought made him a ‘good boy.’ ” She looks over at me and gestures at her uncles. “Can I?”
I nod, and she goes over and pulls out the sock from Second Uncle’s mouth. “Tell her, Second Uncle.”
Second Uncle licks his lips and says in a hoarse voice, “Staph is right. Sorry, Ma. Ah Guan not good boy. We always cover up this and that mess for him.”
“Is our fault,” Big Uncle says as soon as Staph pulls out the sock gagging him. “Is just, we know he your favorite, so we want make you happy, not see how he is such bad kid.”
“We enabled him,” Third Uncle says.
“Yeah, you did, you dirty enablers,” Fourth Aunt mutters.
Ma shushes her.
“But Ah Guan, he always looking after me,” Ama says in a small voice. “He buy me phone—”
“That was me,” Third Uncle says. “We told you it was from Ah Guan to make you learn how to use it.”
“Ah Guan was very good at appearing good,” Staphanie says gently. “And yeah, we enabled him.”
“We not think he so bad as to attack woman,” Big Uncle rumbles. His gaze flicks toward me and then goes back to the floor.
“I’m sorry, Meddy,” Staph says, taking a deep breath. “We didn’t think—”
“It’s okay. How could you have known?” I say.
We all look at Ama, who seems to have shrunk to half her size in the last few minutes. Staphanie goes to her and puts her arm around her shoulders. “Ama—”
Ama’s voice comes out in a broken whisper. “Is my fault.”
“No, Ama—”
“Because his parents no more, so I raise him, I spoil him, is why he become like that,” Ama says.
“Yes, a bit your fault,” Big Aunt says.
I grimace, trying to signal to Big Aunt to stay out of this.
“But mostly his own fault,” Big Aunt continues. “Maybe yes, you spoil him, but he also need to have, you know, sadar diri.”
Self-awareness.