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“Okay, they’re the bad guys, we’re the good guys; there’s a very clear distinction here,” Fourth Aunt says.
“Right, but they also know that we killed Ah Guan. Remember? That’s what got us into this whole mess in the first place. They probably think we offed him or something. I mean, technically, we did. By accident, but still.”
Fourth Aunt’s mouth opens, closes, and presses into a thin line. She turns to Big Aunt and says, “Da Jie, what do you think?”
Big Aunt runs her finger along the rim of her teacup, frowning slightly as she mulls. Softly, she mutters, “Is explain what I hear Ama say. She say, ‘Rén bùke màoxiàng.’ Is mean...”
“Don’t judge a book by its cover?” I hazard a guess.
Big Aunt’s frown deepens. “Aduh, no, Meddy. Where got book? I say ‘ren,’ is mean person. Cannot judge person by face. Aiya, I tell your Ma, must send you to Chinese school early, but she not listen. You see, now you think person is book.”
“No, I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just a saying in English, it can also apply to—never mind. Okay, so she said don’t judge a book—I mean, a person—by their appearance. What were you guys talking about when she said that?”
“Not to me. I hear her say to Staphanie in bathroom when we meet for dim sum. I not know what Staphanie saying, and then Ama say that to her. Then she say, ‘People can look like good family but then turn out they dangerous.’ Then I come in and they both smile-smile and become quiet. At the time I thinking, oh, maybe Staphanie have boyfriend not come from good family, and Ama warning her not so gullible, fall for bad boy.”
Of course they were talking about us. It makes so much sense. It applies perfectly to us: we seem like a good, normal family on the surface, but beneath that, we’re all teeth andclaws and dirty fights to the death. And since they already know we had something to do with Ah Guan’s death, it’s not such a big leap to think we’re mafia, especially if they also run in those circles. They must meet so many other mafia families.
What’s one more?
A mirthless laugh bubbles out of me. I barely recognize the sound. “They think we’re mafia.” It sounds absolutely ridiculous when I say it out loud. “They thinkweare mafia,” I say again, just to have another feel of the words. Nope, still completely nonsensical.
“You know, that might be the only reason we’re all still alive right now,” Fourth Aunt says, studying her nails.
“What?” My head snaps up so quick I almost pull a muscle.
“Yeah, like, I’m pretty sure Abraham Lincoln mentioned that mafia families have a sort of code, like if they want to go to war with another family, they need to get the green light from the other families, that sort of thing. Like a board vote, you know?”
My head is spinning. “Wait. There’s a lot here. I don’t even know where to begin. I mean, there’s a mafia board?”
“Tch, not board, maybe more like arisan, you know?” Big Aunt says.
“Arisan? Isn’t that like the ladies who lunch?”
“Ah, yes, very rich tai-tai, they gather once every month, have lunch at very high-class restaurant,” Big Aunt says. “I got tell you that I was invited to join one or not? The group very high-class one, you know, even got the daughter of the Jofi Corp.”
Fourth Aunt snorts. “Like we’d have been able to afford to join that arisan. You need to put in money toward the arisan. The kind of arisan the Jofi Corp daughter would join would probably cost a few grand a month.”
“Just to have lunch with friends?” I goggle at them before shaking my head. “Anyway. Okay, so there’s a mafia arisan...”
“Yes, what you think mafia wives all do? Of course got mafia arisan,” Big Aunt says. “The men outside all killing-killing, the women inside eating fine dining and decide who husband should kill.”
“Which is not us, because they think we’re one of them,” Fourth Aunt says.
Big Aunt’s eyebrows rise and the corners of her mouth twitch. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she was a bit tickled by all of this. “Are you trying not to laugh?”
Big Aunt purses her lips and doesn’t meet my eye. “Well, I just saying, all those tai-tai, they seem a bit... how you say, relief when I refuse to join their arisan. At first I think maybe aiya, they look down on me...”
“But now you think they were relieved because they thought you were such a big, bad mafia boss lady?”
Again, the corners of Big Aunt’s mouth threaten to lift, but she purses her lips into an even tighter rosebud to keep from grinning. “I not control what people think of me. If people think I mafia boss, then I cannot help.”
“Da Jie, you’d make the best mafia boss,” Fourth Aunt says, refilling Big Aunt’s teacup. “Can you even imagine? You’d be like, ‘Harun disrespected me on the phone. Cut off his ear.’ You’d be fabulous at it.”
Big Aunt waves her away and takes a sip of the tea with obvious enjoyment.
Frustration and anxiety bubble through my chest. Why are they so relaxed? It’s as though they’ve forgotten that today’s my wedding day and every second we spend in here is a second I miss of my actual wedding. Plus, people are going to start looking for us soon, if they haven’t already. “Okay, can we focus?Staphanie’s family, who is actually mafia, thinks we are mafia. What should we do about that?”
“Have fun with it!” Fourth Aunt crows.