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“I just—never mind. Excuse me, Fourth Aunt.” Somehow, I manage to garner up the courage to put my hands on her arms and move her aside, gently but firmly. Then I walk through into the living room. “Ma?”
“In here!” she calls out from the bedroom, and then gives a sort of choked, nervous laugh.
Dread threatens to overwhelm me as I make my way there, but I keep going. One foot in front of the other. I reach the door, prepare myself for the worst, and open it. Ma, Big Aunt, and Second Aunt jump apart guiltily. I stare at the sight before me, my mouth agape, my eyes as wide as saucers. I thought I had prepared myself for everything. But this—
“What. The. Fuck?”
25
They say that your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die. I don’t know that I’m close to death, but my life certainly feels like it’s about to come to an end. And it does actually flash before my eyes like some silent film, where the main character isn’t even me, but my mom and aunts, who are flapping everywhere. I blink. The silent film vanishes with my mother and aunts mid-nag, mouths open wide.
And there, before me, is reality: Third Uncle bound and gagged on the floor.
“What the fuck?” I say again. This can’t be real. I pinch my arm hard enough to make myself wince. And still, he’s there, staring with terrified eyes at all of us. “How did he—why did you—but—argh!”
To their credit, Ma and the aunties look abashed at my incandescent anger.
I take a deep breath, trying to sort out my thoughts. But howcan I? Where do I even begin? I finally settle on a simple “What happened?”
No one answers. Everyone just glances at each other guiltily.
“Big Aunt,” I bark. A small voice squeaks,You can’t talk to Big Aunt like that!I squash it flat and point at Big Aunt. “What happened? You tell me.”
Big Aunt gapes at me and blinks slowly. “Meddy...”
“Yes?”
Her face crumples like a piece of paper and she wails, “You are like daughter to meee!”
Oh god, save me from my marijuana-ed aunties. “Yeah, okay, I love you too, Big Aunt. Ssh, that’s okay. I’m sorry I snapped at you.” I reach out and pat her shoulder in what I hope is a reassuring way. I give Ma a beseeching look, but Ma only nods and smiles benignly and mumbles something about me having four wonderful mothers, isn’t that wonderful, isn’t everything wonderful?
Suddenly, Third Uncle starts yelling at the top of his lungs. Holy shit, his gag’s off. I rush over to him, unsure what I’m about to do, but before I get halfway across the room, Second Aunt, Ma, and Fourth Aunt leap like tigers pouncing on an old antelope and land on top of him.
I don’t know who’s yelling what, but it’s terrible and awful, and I find myself standing at the edge of the struggling mass, frozen. Whenever I’ve seen fights break out in movies, I’ve always been super-critical of how slow the protagonists are to react. But here I am, watching three of my family members grappling with a man, and I just... I don’t know. What the hell do I do? I pick up a lamp from the side table and grasp it like a baseball bat. But still I stand unmoving. How do I make sure to swing it just the right amount? What if I hit Ma accidentally? What if—
A knock. Right at the edge of my hearing. The blood drains from my head. Someone’s at the door.
“Quiet!” I half-shout, half-whisper. “Someone’s at the door.”
The writhing mass on the floor pauses.
“Hello, miss, it’s Dan from the front desk?” the person calls out from the other side of the door.
Third Uncle’s eyes go even wider and he starts to shout, but Second Aunt swings her leg up in a jaw-dropping feat and mushes her thigh over his mouth. I guess Tai Chi is good for flexibility after all.
“We don’t need housekeeping,” I call out in a falsely cheerful tone.
“Could you open the door, please?”
I glance over at my mother and aunts and Third Uncle, and Fourth Aunt hisses, “Go. Get rid of him, fast.”
With a nod, I make my way out of the bedroom, closing the door behind me. I take a deep breath, blow it out, and pat my hair down before walking to the door. Chin up, polite smile on. Right. My hand trembles slightly as I reach for the doorknob.
“Hi, Dan,” I say with forced brightness.
The man standing in front of me looks slightly taken aback to find a bride in her wedding dress opening the door. “Uh. Hello. Miss... uh, Natasya?”
“That would be my mother. I’m Meddelin.”