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“You were never really alone, regardless of what you thought. I was always close by, even if you didn't realize it, I was there. Outside the door or sitting by that window, with my ear to the glass. I always wanted to make sure I was here for you, and I hoped you could feel me even if you couldn't see me.”

Her mouth hung open as she digested everything around her. I could see her putting pin pricks in what her diary said and what she could visibly touch and see with her eyes. Her hands were shaking again, fingers buzzing as she softly ran them over the back of the chair.

“How did he do it? How did he erase my memories?”

Biting my lip, I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “I want you to remember. That's what you want right? To see it on your own?”

“Yeah, I do, but I can't wait for that anymore. I need to know, Birch, tell me how he did it.”

Sharp goosebumps zipped over my back, making my spine tingle nervously. I was about to say it, I was about to give her the last bit of her past she needed to complete the puzzle.

“I didn't want him to do any of this shit, but he wouldn't listen to me.” I couldn't tell her. I wanted to, I really did, but it was harder to speak the truth than it was for me to think about it. Holding up my hands, I bounced them in the air, hoping it might help deflect her curiosity. “My dad wanted to do the right thing, he told me he wanted to give you what you deserved; a family, a good life.”

“A family?” Cocking her head, her lids turned to slits. “And he thought that killing mine and replacing it with his was giving me what I deserved?”

“No, that's not. . .that wasn't what he meant to do.”

“Then what did he mean, Birch? How was this doing the right thing?” Anger bristled her skin and turned her stoic expression into a wave of emotion. Every ripple through the muscles on her face, every twitch and grimace was boldly painted with disgust.

It wasn't done out of cruelty. He didn't go there with the intentions to change your life.

“He didn't know about you, Cyprus, he didn't know that you existed.” Raking my fingers through my hair, I paced in the dirty, dimly lit room. “He took you because he thought it was the right thing to do, he wanted to help you.”

Scoffing, Cyprus spun on her heels and kicked the sleeping bag. “Help me, he wanted to help me.” Rolling her eyes, she stuffed her hands into her ribs. “Tell me how he did it. How did he make me forget it all?”

Rubbing the back of my neck, I felt my chest tighten as I tried to breathe. “Do you really want me to tell you?”

I asked her because she had been so determined to find out on her own, she didn't want me to tell her then, and I was hesitant to tell her now.

I had never talked about what we did, not to anyone. And now I was about to tell the one person that was never supposed to know. It hurt, it cut me deep and made my stomach turn into corded rope.

“Tell me.”

Do it, just get it out. She deserves to know.

Taking in a deep breath, I let it spill from my mouth like tainted water. “He drugged you.” The words stung my tongue, they burned my throat and made me hate myself for everything I hid from her.

“He what?” Cyprus dropped her arms to her sides, her back stiff and rigid. “He drugged me?”

Dragging my hands down my face, my lungs struggled to take in air. I couldn't catch my breath, every breath felt like I was inhaling hot ash. Dropping to my haunches, I braided my fingers together and hung my head. “We held you down, and then he injected you with something.”

Her eyes widened, arms hugging herself tighter. “What was it?”

Shrugging my shoulders, I shook my head. “I don't know, he wouldn't tell me.”

I watched as her body rolled and she absorbed the gravity of truth set at her feet. “How did I end up in the woods?”

“You got out.” Straightening my back, I stepped up to her, taking her hands in mine and squeezing them. “You wouldn't give up, you wouldn't back down. And you did that, you refused to sit back and listen to what he had to say, you refused to forget who you were no matter how many times he tried to scare you into it.” Shifting my eyes between hers, I kept talking. “You were able to get the door off the hinges, and somehow you got out without him or my mom seeing you. It took us four hours to find you and when we did, you were hiding in some overgrowth in the woods. Dad caught you, he dragged you out kicking and screaming. I didn't want to do that to you, I never wanted to hurt you, Cyprus. He made me help him, he forced me to do it even though I kept yelling at him that there had to be another way.”

My heart ached as the anger and sadness I felt that night crept back in, stealing me away. Clutching my chest, I forced myself to take slow even breaths. The pit in my stomach was still there, I could feel it as if all of this was still fresh and not years behind us.

“That's why I was out there, that's why I looked the way I did.”

The softness in her eyes surprised me. I expected her to be fuming, to hit me and slap me, and tell me she never wanted to speak to me again. Instead, her eyes were crystal clear, the clarity making them sparkle like a gem.

“It all makes sense now, all of it.” Pulling her hand free, she fumbled with her bottom lip. “The way you kept asking me if I remembered anything, you said it like you weren't sure you wanted to believe it. You had doubts, you—”

“I thought you might be trying to fool him and trick us. I wasn't sure it worked, and I knew if it didn't, you were smart enough to just pretend.”