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“Do you want me to tell you the truth or what you want to hear?”

Glaring, her mouth snarled, cheeks flushing crimson. “Fuck you.” Grabbing a handful of dirt, she threw it in my face. “Fuck you!” Screaming at the top of her lungs, she started to stand.

Her hands dug into the ground, fingers stabbing the earth like spikes. She had made it to her knees, wobbling as she started to cry and gasp for air.

I knew she was trying to run, that she wanted nothing more than to be as far away from me as possible.

“I didn't say that to upset you, I swear.” Lunging forward, I snagged her forearm and held her steady so she didn't fall. “I would never hurt you purposely.”

Whipping her face in my direction, tears streamed down her cheeks, falling like heavy raindrops to the forest floor. “It's a little too late for that, don't you think?”

“No, it's never too late to fix mistakes. Not for us, not for what we have. What we have is real, Cyprus, we were meant to find each other.” Holding her tight, I kept her in place, refusing to let her go.

I wasn't going to lose the best thing to ever walk into my life because of something my father had done. Decisions were made, choices that could never be taken back. But we had found each other, that was all that mattered to me.

“Let me go, Birch.” Her small fist balled tight, arm tense and locked in place. “I just want to go.”

“Do you love me? Do you still feel it like I do?” Searching her eyes, my heart stopped beating while I waited for her to answer.

Fuck she still looked so beautiful even in her rage and sadness. Her lips were puffed up as she took in ragged painful breaths. The small freckles across her nose began to disappear as her skin flushed bright red, and her nostrils flared.

“I love what we had, I loved the man I thought I knew. But now I'm stuck wondering where the lies end and the truth begins.”

“How can you say that? Can't you feel it? Don't you feel it?” My voice begged her to listen to her heart, to what we shared and felt.

I knew it was still there, it wasn't gone. There was no way that the love we experienced could just vanish in a day. It wasn't possible, what we had was too strong for that.

Right?

Even if she doubted what her past was made of, she had to know that our love came from someplace whole.

“I feel betrayed, I feel like my entire life has been a goddamn lie.” Thinning her lips, her teeth clenched as years of pent up anger fed her words. “I feel like the man I thought I trusted fed me bullshit as easily as he fed me dinner. What I feel hurts more than I think you could ever realize.”

Lifting my hand to her cheek, I brushed her skin, wiping away the tears she continued to cry. “I love you, that's not a lie, and it's never been a lie.”

Leaning in, I attempted to kiss her, but she turned her face so I couldn't. “Don't. I can't do this right now. I can't take the idea that you spent all these years lying to my face.”

“Tell me what you know, just tell me so I can make this right.” Holding her chin firmly in my hands, I forced her to look at me. “I want to make this right.”

Just tell me what you know!

“Don't fucking give me that shit.” Shoving my hand away, Cyprus pushed herself off the ground and rose to her feet. Her arms flailed in the air, waving erratically. “You knew! You knew and you chose to say nothing!”

Holding out my hands, I didn't get up. I wanted her to have this moment, to feel like she had some form of control. She needed that, she needed to stand on the pedestal and let the world hear her cries.

“How could you do this to me?” Water poured from her eyes, and she looked so fragile and young all over again, just like she had that day; when she woke to a world she couldn't remember and faces she had never seen. “How come you never told me?”

“I couldn't.” My heart broke as I watched the woman I loved crumble and dissolve before me. It hurt, it hurt more than anything I could have imagined.

“You couldn't. . .” Pausing, her body went limp, arms hanging lifelessly by her sides. “Of course you couldn't, you're too much of a fucking coward to stand up to your father.” Thinning her lips, her chin crooked hard. “I'm glad that what he told you when you were a child still means something today. That says a lot, Birch, really it does. You say you love me, but I'm not even sure you really know what that word means. If you loved me, you would have done the right thing long before now.”

Wiping her cheeks, Cyprus took in deep long breaths through her nose. She didn't say anything else, she just stared at me, her eyes boring a hole into my heart.

She was right. I was a fucking coward.

I could have told her everything so many times, and I chose not to. Not because I didn't want her to know, but because fear kept me from speaking.

When we were kids, yes, my father was the voice of reason. He wanted a clean slate, he wanted her to never know about what happened so she would willingly stay with us. I hadn't agreed then, and I didn't agree now.