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Chapter Five

Cyprus

“Cyprus, wake up.” Birchshook my shoulder, forcing me to roll onto my back. “Come on, Babe, it's time to get up.”

“What time is it?”

“Eight-thirty,” he said, smiling down on me, his big blue eyes glittering with excitement.

“It's so early, Birch, why in the love of God are you waking me up? What are you up to?” Pushing up on my elbows, I rubbed my eyes, clearing them of the sleepy haze. “There better be a damn good reason you're waking me up before noon.”

I had trouble getting to sleep over the past few weeks. Every time I closed my eyes I kept seeing Antoine's face. It plagued me like a horror movie, making me toss and turn until my body finally gave up.

The way he looked, the calmness in his eyes and smoothness of his lips as he kept a smile on his face right up to the end, it was unsettling. I wanted that image to make it better, I felt like his acceptance should set me at ease because even he knew he deserved what was coming.

But I still had nightmares about it. I saw the pop of the gun over and over in my head. What scared me the most was I wasn't afraid, I didn't feel horrified and nervous around Birch or his father. I felt numb about the devastation they had caused, but fearful of myself.

Because deep down it wasn't that Antoine had been killed or the men I trusted had pulled the trigger several times over. . . It was because when I really looked back on it, I honestly didn't care that he had died.

What the hell is wrong with me?

What kind of monster am I becoming?

Pushing away the thought, I cursed myself for even debating if I could label myself as a monster. I wasn't a beast, I wasn't some disfigured creature that fed off life. I was just a girl who was being protected. I was just a woman walking a tightrope with the family that kept her balanced.

Tilting his head to the side, Birch kissed my forehead, and whispered. “You have no clue what today is, do you?”

His lips warmed my skin, sending tickling hairs down my arms. I loved when he kissed me like that. I could feel it in my bones, in every pore and muscle. That man was my world. With one kiss my mind was clear, and my thoughts were relinquished to nothing more than a single second in time that didn't matter anymore.

Because I was here; I was with the one person that helped me to believe in myself and forget everything behind us.

Neither of us are evil. We were just dealt a hand we had to play.

Nothing was simple. Death and living were both equally hard. It didn't matter which end you were standing at.

I had forced myself to forgive Birch for his actions on the beach. He said he had killed for me, that he had done it to make sure that no one would hurt me. But what he did had helped to save other women—I loved this vigilante of circumstance.

Smiling up at him, I shook my head no.

Drawing his fingers down my chin, his lips thinned. “It's your birthday.”

“My birthday?” Giving him a funny eye, I pursed my lips. “No it's not, it's August fifteenth, my birthday is in May, you know that.”

May, it was my favorite month. The flowers were blooming, the air was clean and crisp, I loved it. And since I didn't have an actual birthday to celebrate, I got to pick my own.

There were some benefits to not knowing who you were. You got to choose all the things that most had no control over. My age was a guess, my name was picked, and my birthday was a date I got to set.

Birch laughed, snuggling up against my side, and wrapping his arm around my belly. “No, not that one, your birthday with us. Today is the day my parents took you in eight years ago.”

“Oh, that birthday. Sorry, I'm still half awake.” Giggling, I nuzzled my head under his chin and placed my hand on his chest. “I can't believe it's been that long already.”

Squeezing me into his ribs, he tickled the tips of his fingers up and down my arm. “I'm just happy we found you. I can't imagine my life without you, and I never want to.”

Kissing his neck, I lifted my hand to his cheek. “Well I'm here, so you never have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere.” Shifting on the bed, Birch lowered his body, gripping my chin between his thumb and forefinger. “I love you, I've loved you for a long time.” His eyes burned into mine, forcing my heart into my throat.

“I love you too.”

“I know you do.” His thumb swept back and forth, softly stroking my lower lip. “And I hope that never changes.” Pushing his mouth against mine, he kissed me like I was the air he needed to survive.