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“So, did you talk to Gia about the boyfriend?” Ellen asked.

“I tried, but she didn’t want to hear it.”

“When we first started having sex, we pulled away from our mothers too.”

“She’s not having sex,” I said emphatically.

“Oh, I just figured.”

“Are you saying she’s easy?”

“Of course not, but she’s seventeen. It’s not that far a leap to think she’s having sex.”

“Well, she’s not. Besides, she shouldn’t be having sex.I’mnot having sex.”

“You and Jim still aren’t having sex?”

“No. I think it’s been only a couple of times in the last five months. When it first started, I began putting anSon the calendar so I could see how often we were doing it. A few weeks ago, Gia asked what theSwas for. I told her I wanted to make sausage for dinner.”

Ellen began giggling. “More like you wanted sausageafterdinner.” I started giggling too. We always found sexual innuendos hysterical. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to joke about your situation,” she said.

“That’s okay. I needed to find some humor in it.”

As we turned the corner to walk down the hill, a car was moving too fast and began to slide on the ice. We stopped to make sure it wasn’t going to hit us. It skidded all over the street before the driver got it under control and sped off.

“What do you think is going on with Jim?” Ellen asked.

“In our marriage, there’ve been times he’s disconnected, but we talk, and he gets better. But now when I ask what’s wrong, he’s vague or avoids answering. He comes home, eats dinner, watches a little television, and falls asleep. I lie there wondering if I did something wrong. I worry that after Gia leaves for college and it’s just the two of us, he’ll be in his own world, and I’ll really feel alone.”

“You’re not alone, and if I hadn’t lost feeling in my arms, I’d hug you.” We finished our walk, and Ellen tried to give me that hug, but her arms were so frozen she couldn’t lift them, so she just bumped up against me. “It’ll be okay,” she said.

I wished I could be that sure. She left, and as I entered the house, the heat from the living room enveloped me. I shed all my outerwear in the entryway. Jim was sitting on the living room couch typing on his laptop. “How’s Ellen?” he asked.

“She’s good.”

“Sam and I are going to the shooting range soon.”

“Oh. Okay.” I couldn’t hide my unhappiness.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I was hoping we could do something together this afternoon.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were thinking that,” he said.

“It’s fine, forget it,” I said.

“I need to blow off steam, and shooting is my way of doing that.”

“Okay,” I said.

“Now you have the rest of the afternoon to do whatever you want.”

“I don’t need more time alone.”

“What I wouldn’t give to get more time alone,” he said.

“Wow.”