Page 20

“I went to see Ellen at her office, and I ran into Lorna. She said she wants to have lunch soon.” When Jim didn’t say anything, I went on. “It could be about a job.” It wasn’t what she said, but I wanted to gauge his reaction to me going back to work.

“Is that something you’re thinking about?” he asked.

“I don’t know, maybe. When Gia leaves for college, it might be something I’d enjoy doing.”

“Except when you worked there, you didn’t seem like you were having any fun. You used to complain about all those meetings where no one liked your contributions. And how one of the partners sometimes took credit for the books you suggested they publish.”

“I didn’t say I was definitely going back to publishing. I just said she might want to talk to me about it.” He was making me defensive.

“Okay,” Jim said and hit play on the DVR. A judge pronounced some guy guilty, and Jim jumped up and screamed, “Yes!” as if he had a stake in the case.

While Jim was doing his happy dance, the front door opened and closed quietly. Gia came in silently, as if she were trying to sneak in, which was funny because it wasn’t the middle of the night. She’d started to walk upstairs when she noticed me.

“Is that my shirt?” she asked. I got so busy talking to Jim I forgot to change. I was caught, but I’d paid for the shirt, so in a roundabout way it was mine.

“I found it in my closet. I thought it was mine,” I said.

“I hope you didn’t stretch it out. I want to wear it when I go out with Jason this weekend.” She grabbed a soda from the refrigerator and walked out. Stretch it out? I’m the same size I was when I was her age. I looked down at my body. Well, maybe not the same size, but a close fifteen pounds to it.

“She’s just trying to get under your skin,” Jim said. “Teenage girls have issues with their moms.”

“Thank you, Sigmund Freud.”

“Anytime.” He playfully grabbed my butt. It startled me because he hadn’t done anything that affectionate in a while. When Gia was little, he’d come up behind me when I was washing dishes. He’d start kissing my neck, and then very quickly we’d put Gia in front of Disney’sBeauty and the Beast, lock the bathroom door, and have sex for as long as it took the candlestick to sing “Be Our Guest.” Thank God it was one of the longest numbers in the movie.

I sat down next to him on the couch. “Hey, you want to watch that Julia Roberts movie we taped?” I asked.

“Not really. You can watch my show though.”

Once again, I was the one in our relationship expected to cave in, even if it was just over watching some stupid television show. What kind of example was I setting for my daughter? Jim was so engrossed in his show that it didn’t matter whether I was there or not. I started thinking about Michael from the gym. I deserved more attention than the man on the couch wanted to give me. The house phone rang. I crossed to the desk to look at the caller ID.

“Hi, Dad,” I said.

“Dorothy?” he asked. “Aren’t you coming here this afternoon?”

“No, Dad, it’s not Mom. It’s Maggie.” Jim muted his show when he heard the distress in my voice.

“No, Maggie was here the other day. Please come and see me, Dorothy. I miss you.” He hung up.

“What’s going on?” Jim asked.

“I told you he’s been a little confused lately, but not like this.”

“You should call your mom.”

Mom answered before the first ring ended. I filled her in on what happened, and her response only made me feel worse. “I tried to tell you he’s not doing well, but you didn’t want to hear it.” She was frustrated with me. “It can’t be just age,” she said. “He’s been forgetting simple words, asking the same questions over and over, and tuning out while we’re having a conversation.”

“You sound like you’ve already decided it’s dire. He’s on lots of meds for his Parkinson’s. I’ve heard one of the main reasons the elderly get confused is because one of their meds interacts badly with another.” I was praying that was the case, because it would explain everything and have an easy fix. It was getting harder to live in my denial.

“Whatever it is, we need answers.” Dad’s doctor was out of town, and Dad refused to meet with any of the other doctors. He got very upset if one even approached him. He’d always been an easygoing man, so that was completely out of character for him. It also meant we had to wait until his doctor got back from Paris. “I’m going to call your dad back,” she said and hung up.

As I was relaying to Jim what my mother said, Gia came back in the room. We stopped talking because I didn’t want her to know about her grandfather until I had more information.

“Were you talking about me?” she asked.

“No,” Jim said.

“You stopped talking as soon as I walked in.”