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“You guys are just going through a rough patch.”

“This rough patch has been going on for a long time, what if it doesn’t end?”

“Of course it will.”

“I hope you’re right, but for now Michael helps me feel less lonely.”

“This Michael thing’s giving me a bad feeling.”

“We haven’t crossed any lines.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes. When I’m around him I’m distracted from all the crappy stuff in my life.”

“That’s what your husband’s for.”

“My husband isn’t emotionally available to me. And before our trip, he came home drunk and said he wanted to quit his job and do all kinds of things that didn’t include me.” I got up and poured more coffee into both our mugs.

“I’m sure he didn’t mean it.”

“I think he did.”

“You said he was drunk.”

“When you’re drunk, you say what you’vereallybeen thinking. Our anniversary weekend was just a moment in time. What if he wants to move on without me?”

“I have known Jim for years, and he doesn’t. And you getting closer to Michael is only going to make things worse. You need to stop seeing him.”

“I don’t want to.” I blew on my coffee before taking a swig. “What if it’s time for Jim and me to start over with someone new?” I was saying things out loud that I’d been thinking about in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep. “Have you ever thought about what it would be like if you and Sam split up?” I asked.

“Of course. Then my divorced friends tell me their dating disaster stories, and I figure whatever we’re going through isn’t that bad.”

“If Jim and I split up, he could go on all his adventures, and I could start over with someone who wanted to experience things with me.” I was picking up steam and couldn’t stop myself from moving forward.

“I know you don’t mean that, but if you want to go down this road, I’ll do it with you.”

“You’re going to leave Sam?”

“No, I’m not crazy,” she said. “But you need a reality check.” She got a pad of paper and a pen off my desk, then wrote at the top: “Things to consider if I leave Jim for Michael,” and she underlined it twice. She drew two columns. On the top of one, she wrote “Pros,” and at the top of the other, she wrote “Cons.” “So if you and Jim split up, you’d have some big decisions to make. Like which one of you moves out of the house, how you’d divide up your finances, and who would Gia live with when she came home from college. You’d have to get a good job and therapy for Gia when she hates you.”

“You’re trying to scare me.”

“I’m telling you like it is. Which one of you is Gia going to live with?”

“Me, of course.”

“Is that a pro or a con?” she asked. I gave her a dirty look. “If Gia’s living with you, she’s not going to be happy that you’re dating Michael.”

“Then I won’t date him.”

“Isn’t that the reason you’d leave Jim?” She liked watching me squirm. I took the blanket that was draped on the back of the couch, pulled it over myself, and tucked my feet under it. She went on. “Would you stay in the house or move out?”

“I’m not leaving my house.”

“But if you got a new place, you could redecorate.” She wrote in the pro column, “Redecorate new place.”

I took the pen out of her hand and crossed it out. “I love my house. I’m not moving.”