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I shook out my umbrella and got in the elevator and exited on the eighteenth floor at Shier and Boggs publishing house. The paint on the walls had gone from white to oatmeal, the couches were now chenille as opposed to leather, and the maple floors had been stained a lighter color. Everything was different except the iron umbrella stand next to the reception desk. It was the exact same one as when I’d worked here. The one I used when my future was in front of me. That ugly umbrella stand was a symbol of all the things I could’ve been. As I dropped my umbrella in, I found myself caressing the stand gently. I noticed the receptionist staring at me. Did she recognize me? Was I supposed to recognize her? Did she think I was some weirdo with an umbrella stand fetish?

“Who are you here to see?” she asked.

Before I could answer, Ellen came flying through the glass door. “She’s with me, Miranda,” she said. Ellen walked me toward her office. “You look great. Is that a new shirt?” she asked, touching the lace on Gia’s shirt.

“No, I’ve had it forever,” I lied. Everything about her office screamedsuccess. It was large with windows all around and a view of Columbus Park. There were awards for various books that the company had published in my absence. I wanted one of those awards. “Oh my God, this could’ve been me,” I said and started to cry. I was surprised and embarrassed by my reaction, and now my makeup was starting to run. Thank God I hadn’t done a smokey eye. “Your office is beautiful,” I said.

Ellen handed me a tissue, and I dabbed at my eyes under my lower lashes the way those women on Dr. Phil did. “I sent you pictures,” she said.

“I know, but pictures don’t do it justice. Also, seeing it has reminded me what I gave up all those years ago.” Ellen nodded; she always understood me. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not happy for your successes,” I said.

“Said the woman who burst into tears.”

I smiled and finished wiping my eyes; then I threw the tissues in the trash behind her desk.

Lorna rushed into Ellen’s office with her arms outstretched. She’d been my mentor and was always just a step below God to me. She was now the associate publisher. She wore a blue flowered peasant dress with brown suede boots. At sixty-three most women would look ridiculous, but on Lorna it was perfect. “I heard you were here.” She enveloped me in a hug. “It’s been ages.”

“I know, I’ve really missed you,” I said.

“Are you crying?” she asked.

“No, I just got an eyelash in my eye,” I said, willing my eyes to dry up.

She peppered me with questions. “How’s everything with you? How’s Gia? How old is she now?” she asked in rapid succession and then sat down in Ellen’s desk chair.

“All fine. Gia’s good, applying to colleges.”

“Your daughter’s old enough to go to college? I can’t believe it’s been that long since we all worked together.” She leaned back and put her feet up on Ellen’s desk. “And what’s even crazier is after all these years,I’mstill working here.”

“I’m still here too,” Ellen said, but neither Lorna nor I responded.

“That’s because you’re the best publisher in town, Lorna,” I said.

“No, I’m not,” Lorna said without conviction.

“Can I have my chair back?” Ellen said to Lorna. Lorna removed her feet from Ellen’s desk and stood up. “Maggie, you were always my favorite editor.” I smiled.

“I can’t believe how much I miss this place,” I said. “I don’t know why I left to begin with.”

“Because you were nine months pregnant and couldn’t fit behind your desk,” Lorna said facetiously.

“But I’m not pregnant anymore,” I said, hinting.

“You’re lucky you left when you did. Things have changed so much,” Lorna said. “Now the senior editors need to be available twenty-four hours a day. Because of social media, there’s always something that needs to be taken care of. Thank God Ellen didn’t have kids. She’d never see them.”

“Well, my kid’s almost grown and out the door,” I said, hoping she’d offer me a job.

Lorna wasn’t getting my hints, or she didn’t want to acknowledge them. She looked at the clock on Ellen’s desk. “I’m late for a meeting. Maggie, let’s grab lunch sometime soon. I’d love to hear what you’re up to.” She gave me another one of her huge hugs and ran out with the same force with which she had entered. And with Lorna’s exit, my unrealistic fantasy burst into a hundred pieces.

“I wish I could hire you,” Ellen said tentatively.

“What? Oh, thanks, but I wasn’t really looking for a job.”

“Don’t bullshit me, I’m your best friend,” Ellen said. She picked up her purse, and we headed out to lunch with me wishing I could’ve gone home to sulk.

After Ellen went back to her office, I drove home to find Jim sitting on the couch watching one of those true crime shows. He was addicted. He’d watched so many of them that if he killed me, no one would ever find my body. “What are you doing home?” I asked.

He paused the TV. “A bunch of my patients canceled today. Where were you?”