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“At least your mom’s single.” I was so messed up I couldn’t see the irony of my dad flirting with another woman while he was married. When we stopped at a light, Michael wiped a tear off my face. It was the gentlest, most caring thing that had happened to me in a very long time. As we waited for the light to change, three girls crossed the street in front of us. Two of them were Gia’s friends, Lily and Talia.

“Oh my God,” I said.

“What?”

“Those girls, they’re Gia’s friends.”

“And … ?”

“And I’m in the car with you. If they see me, they’re going to ask Gia who you are.” I ducked my head down. There was a lone french fry in the corner of the doormat. I tried not to think how long it had been there.

It seemed like forever before the light turned green, and he drove through the intersection and out of harm’s way. Was I so lonely that I would take the chance of screwing up my marriage and my family just for attention and excitement? Ellen was right; I was putting too much on the line for a fun flirtation. I needed to stay away from him if I wanted to stay married. And I did want to stay married. After twenty years, I couldn’t imagine my life differently. Michael dropped me back off in the parking lot at Brooklawn, and as I walked to my car, I felt as if I was doing the walk of shame.

DAD

“Papa, I like your new room,” Gia says. It’s her first time seeing me in the memory care unit. This room is a little smaller, but Dorothy squeezed everything in that I had from my other room. She wanted to make me comfortable, but that isn’t a feeling I’ll ever have again. It makes me happy that Gia, Maggie, and Jim have all come today. It’s not often they’re all here at the same time, or at least I don’t remember it happening.

“You seem better today, Dad,” Maggie says cautiously.

“I haven’t felt this good in a while.” I put my hand on Gia’s hand, and she looks up at me. “How are you doing, honey?”

“I’m good, Papa. I’ll be leaving for college in six months. I’m going to miss you so much.” Maggie and Jim look miserable, as if they’re already living the day she leaves them.

“I’ll miss you too.” I begin to tremble, wondering what I will be like by then.

“I can’t wait to live in a dorm and meet new friends and—” Gia continues, and I try to interrupt her, but the words catch in my throat, and I start coughing. Maggie gets me water.

“Dad, we don’t want to wear you out. We can come back another day,” Maggie says.

“No,” I say with a little too much force. I drink one more sip and clear my throat. Then I try to straighten up as best I can, but without much strength, I don’t accomplish a lot. “I love you all so much.”

“We love you too,” Maggie says. She’s cracking her knuckles. Jim puts his hand on her shoulder, but she doesn’t stop.

“Mom and Dad said that you weren’t doing great, but you seem okay to me,” Gia says.

“I’m having a good day, but I don’t have a lot of them.”

“But you’ll still come to my graduation, won’t you?” Gia’s starting to get upset.

“Hopefully, we can make that happen,” Maggie says, trying to comfort her. Maggie doesn’t believe that any more than I do.

“We’ll see, honey,” Jim says to Gia.

“But you look fine,” Gia says.

“But I’m not,” I say sadly.

She gets what I’m trying to say but doesn’t want to hear it. Hell, I don’t want to hear it. Fear is etched on her face. “I don’t want you to die, Papa.” Gia puts her head on my shoulder.

“He’s not dying,” Maggie says emphatically.

Jim tries to comfort Gia, but she pulls away. Maggie tells her they’ll take things as they come, and hopefully it will work out. I’m grateful for her outlook; I wish I had the same one, but I know this disease is eating me. I ask Jim to give Maggie and me a few minutes alone. Jim hugs me, and Gia leans down so I can kiss her on the cheek, and they go. Maggie quietly retreats inside herself.

After a moment of silence, she says, “I’m scared.” She moves over to be closer to me.

“I’m scared too.”

“I don’t know how to lose you.”