Page 62

“You met him at the gym? What a cliché. How long has this been going on?” Hurt and anger settled on his face.

“Nothing is going on. He’s just a guy at the gym.”

“Just a guy at the gym who you want to leave me for?” Where did he get that idea? “How long?” he asked.

“I told you, nothing’s going on.”

“How long?” The anger in him was building.

“A few months. I didn’t cheat on you.”

“What would you call it?”

I put my hands to my head and rubbed my temples. “It was more of a flirtation, and it’s over.”

“What’s over if nothing happened?”

“I’m not going to see him again.”

“Why? Did he dump you?” he said with such venom it scared me.

Theo, sensing the tension, sat down on my foot. He raised his paw and put it on my knee. “I realized that spending time with Michael wasn’t helping our marriage. I was telling him things I tried to talk to you about, but you weren’t listening.”

“I know I’ve been distracted, but if you were that unhappy, you should’ve told me.”

“I did, many times. You would say you’d try harder, then you’d shut down again.”

“You have no idea how hard it is for me to be present with you right now. Just getting up in the morning and going to work is killing me. What more do you want?”

“Someone who doesn’t think spending time with me is a burden.” I wanted him to tell me I was wrong, that he loved spending time with me. I watched him for a response, but he looked away. “You should’ve been honest with me about your job.”

“I was. You didn’t want to hear it,” he said. He was right.

“Even if I didn’t want to hear it, you should’ve made me see how much you were going through.” I began cracking my knuckles.

“So, it’s my fault that you went off with some other guy.”

“I didn’t mean for it to happen, but Michael was giving me attention that you weren’t.”

“What are you, four?” He kicked one of the dog toys across the room so hard that it hit the wall. Theo raced after the dinosaur and began chewing so enthusiastically that our conversation was punctuated by squeaking.

“How did you find out?” I asked.

“I found your pros and cons list crumpled up under your desk.”

“Oh. That was Ellen’s idea of a joke.”

“Great, so Ellen’s in on it?” he said.

“There’s nothing to be in on.”

I held out my phone and told him he could look at my texts. I knew full well that I’d been deleting them as they came in. He refused to take it from me; then he slumped down onto the couch as if his legs could no longer hold him up. He looked broken. I felt horrible.

“How long have you known?” I asked.

“Since the day your mom died.”

“You should’ve said something.”