Page 31

I put on my old lady voice and called out, “Ma’am, can you please help me? I can’t get up these steps by myself.”

Ellen smiled. “I gotta go. There’s a senior citizen who’s going to fall if I don’t help her. … Yes, your son did marry a nice woman.” She hung up and sighed. “Thanks, you always did make an excellent elderly woman.”

“All that practicing has paid off,” I said.

We opened the door to the boutique and went inside. There was a crystal chandelier hanging overhead, making the store look elegant, not trashy. There were racks with all different types of bras and chemises and tables with panties lined up in rows. “You look like you’re about to get a tooth pulled,” Ellen said. “Why are we doing this?”

I held up a pair of thong panties. “I need something for Jim.”

“Wouldn’t he be more comfortable in boxers?”

“Ha ha. I meant I need to do something to revitalize my marriage.”

The lingerie was separated by colors. It was a rainbow of white, black, red, gray, and purple. Ellen walked over to one of the racks. “Okay, what color do you think will make Jim’s eyes bulge out?” she asked.

“Whichever one takes ten pounds off me.”

Ellen began collecting a wide variety of camisoles, bras, chemises, and thongs in black, red, and purple. “Hey, did you get the tests back for your dad?”

“Not yet. And between the waiting and whatever’s going on with Jim and the thing with Michael, I’ve been a wreck.”

She stopped pulling items and looked at me. “What kind ofthingwith Michael?”

“I just meant we’ve been working out together pretty often now. That is, until a week ago when he disappeared, and I realized how much I missed him.”

“Tell me you’re not having an affair.”

“No, of course I’m not,” I said emphatically. “We’re just friends.”

“You sound pretty invested for just friends.”

“It’s not a big deal,” I said, trying to convince myself as much as her. “I just like the way I feel when I’m with him.”

“Yeah, right. I saw the man in shorts.” A saleswoman walked over to us, and Ellen waved her off, telling her she had things under control. The saleswoman gave her a dirty look.

“It’s not just about his looks. When I’m with him I’m different than I am at home. I’m silly and funny and … sweet. Jim wouldn’t say that about me anymore.”

“That’s because Jim sees you sick, bitchy, and yelling at a teenager.”

“Do you think that’s why he’s distant and doesn’t want to have sex? I’m a pain in the ass?”

A different saleswoman tried to help us, but Ellen let her know she was interrupting a private conversation. This saleswoman was not pleased either.

“I get it,” Ellen said. “Michael’s fun, and you don’t have any responsibilities when you’re with him. It’s okay to have a crush, but just make sure you don’t cross the line.” I assured her it wasn’t going in that direction. She told me how she once had a thing for a teller at the bank. She said it got so bad that she’d go in one day and take money out, only to go back the next day and put it back in. She finally stopped when Sam saw their bank statements and asked what the hell she was doing.

“Did you have to change banks?” I asked.

“No, I just went to a different teller. Eventually my crush left to go pursue his dream of being a figure skater.” I rolled my eyes at her. “Go try these on,” she said, dropping the large pile of lingerie she’d been collecting into my arms. I handed her all the items back except three chemises and one silk robe. If I tried on too many, I would get overwhelmed and leave with nothing.

I went into the dressing room, and Ellen sat outside it on a plush ottoman. “I think this anniversary trip will be good for you and Jim,” she called through the door.

I wished I could say I was looking forward to leaving town for an entire weekend alone with him, but I was worried. Over the years we’d told each other everything about our pasts and all our funny stories, so what were we going to talk about? On this trip I wanted to avoid talking about Gia or my father or Jim’s job, because that wasn’t romantic. But what was left to talk about? I better start thinking of topics now.

I stripped off my clothes and examined my body. Since I’d been working out more, it was looking tighter. I moved the three-way mirror so I could see my butt and imagined it without cellulite. I wondered if Michael thought about me sexually.

“Are you ever going to come out and show me something?” Ellen called out impatiently. I grabbed the first thing I saw and put it on. It was the red chemise, and I knew right away that this was the one. I wrapped the silk robe over it and came out of the dressing room. Ellen motioned for me to open the robe. “You look so pretty. Michael—I mean Jim—will love it.” I smacked her lightly on the arm.

After I’d paid a lot for a small amount of material, Ellen and I hugged goodbye, and I headed to the market for the fifteenth time that week. I wasn’t in the mood, but if I ever let that stop me, we would’ve all starved. I wouldn’t be there long, because I had a system. I’d start at the produce aisle, then work my way to the meat department. I was making good time until I got to the section with crackers and cookies. I got stuck behind some guy with his back to me who was blocking the aisle, staring at the Chips Ahoy cookies. There were a hundred types: chewy, chunky, Reese’s, Heath bar, gooey, thins. It seemed as if they took up the whole aisle, and he was looking at all of them. I needed cookies too, which left me with nothing to do but stand behind him and wait. I couldn’t help but notice his broad shoulders and tight butt. Ever since Michael, I was checking out any strange man in front of me. I got frustrated with waiting, and just as I was about to say excuse me, he turned slightly. ItwasMichael. No wonder I was admiring his body. His six feet to my five-two meant I had to reach my arm up to tap him on the shoulder.