Page 8 of With Stars in Her Eyes

Thea

I glanced into the viewfinder. It was my third time trying to use this kind of color film. It wasn’t as fun as astrophotography, but the early morning mist in the trees was almost as mysterious.

“ Magical .”

“If I freeze my fingers off, it’s on you to magic me out of trouble with the league. I thought since the stars weren’t visible you would let me avoid the hypothermia.” Marshall blew heat onto his gloved hands.

“Look at the mist. It’s perfect. So haunting. The big tree with the brick building behind it. God, it’s stunning with the city lights and the old renovated church building. Also, for the record, I didn’t wake you up to come out here with me so early.”

“Is it even early? I’m pretty sure this still counts as ‘late.’ Do you really think I was going to let you come out here at noon?

” He pulled his hat more securely over his ears.

“Everyone else in your family except your mom is a lawyer. If you move here and end up dead a few weeks later because you got up ass crack early to take photos and ran into a murderer, I’m going to get blamed for it and go to jail. ”

“Are there a lot of early rising murderers here you didn’t warn me about?” I didn’t let myself laugh because I didn’t want a tremble in my hands to ruin the shot.

If my face had looked weird yesterday when I had been crabby, Marshall’s was practically unrecognizable today from his usual self.

Had he not slept at all? He sipped his coffee, which reminded me that he was also holding mine, and I should drink some before it sprouted icicles.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong and why you were awake?

” I took a few more photos because the light could change at any moment as the sun rose another inch over the horizon behind the thick clouds.

“You’ve been acting weird since yesterday when you left to call your agent.

So… is it something with football or the pub?

” I hung the camera over my shoulder and took the coffee, enjoying the burn from a larger than advisable swallow.

“Why don’t we talk about literally anything other than either of those things? Tell me something else I haven’t heard yet about your first couple weeks?”

“Hmm…” I handed the travel mug back. Marshall followed me across the frozen grass as I went to get a different angle on the tree. Maybe he needed some cheering up. Something a little bit happier. He loved gossip. “I have a crush on someone. Just a small one. It’ll pass though.”

“Oooh.” His frosted beard spread in a smile and his blue eyes shone. “Why do you want it to pass?”

“I want to actually like living here. What if I jump into something, and it doesn’t work out—like always—only now I can’t blame my mom’s meddling making me doubt things anymore or the fact that a lot of people come and go back home.

It’ll just be me. Being too sweet. Being not good enough.

They move away. They ghost. It’s always the same thing.

I’ll be all in, and they’ll be out the door because I’m ‘too good for them’ or ‘too tied down.’ All the toos.

The second I make it clear I’m interested for real, they run away as fast as they can. ”

Eesh. That was a lot for not-quite-dawn o’clock.

“First of all, only an idiot would think you’re too anything. Who’s the crush on?”

My cold-numb bottom lip was pinched between my teeth. “No one.”

“Why won’t you tell me?”

“Because you’ll tease me about it.”

“I would never.” He barely maintained his straight face. “Hopefully it’s not Denise or Samantha since they’re both married. And that Vlad guy you work with is a little scary, so probably not him. Trying to think who else…”

“Not any of those. Shit .” My phone was buzzing. “Just my mom.”

“Your mom calls you at five thirty in the morning?”

“Sometimes.” I pulled off my glove so I could answer. “Hi, Mom, actually, I’m—”

Before I could finish telling her it wasn’t a great time to talk, she launched into a long story about some drama happening at the pickleball club.

When she finally paused, I tried to get off again, but she interrupted again .

I waited for another pause before trying a new tactic.

“But have you thought any more about coming to visit Kansas this summer? I’d love to show you where I work and Marshall’s pub.

It’s a three-bedroom condo, so there’s plenty of—”

“I’ll talk to your father about it.” My mother’s voice was a little shaky, and I couldn’t tell anymore whether that was affectation or emotions. “It’s just hard to have you so far away and making choices I just don’t understand.”

Marshall’s sigh could probably be heard across an entire football field. He handed me back my coffee, and I took a long sip before answering.

“I know it is…”

“Your grandaddy always said you were so smart and had so much potential and—”

“Hey…” I tried to brighten my tone. “I told Peyton I’d take photos of her baby the next time I’m in town before vacation.”

Mom sniffed. “Well, that’s lovely. And you’re still going to come to Catherine’s golden anniversary too? They added a cocktail hour the night before at the club.”

“It’s on my calendar.”

“After they saw the photos you took at the Spaulding girl’s wedding on the club’s website, everyone was so impressed…”

A flashing light must be above my head illuminating the words DANGER DANGER DANGER . As if to emphasize this, Marshall shook his head, intensely, waving his hands back and forth. He knew where this was going too.

“Your brother is still hoping you’ll reconsider about Jack’s wedding.”

Shit.

Marshall’s palm smacked into his forehead.

“With settling in and the move… I told him I was sorry about it. It’s just not what I want to do with my life. A wedding is a lot of pressure. I agreed to do the shower thing, and all the other things already on my calendar but—”

“But you’re such a talented photographer.

And your brother has done a lot for you over the years, and his business partner is getting married.

It’s a really important occasion, Thea. You wouldn’t be the main photographer.

You’d just take some photos in your unique style in addition to the one they’re paying. ”

Okay, shifting gears.

“I know it’s an important occasion… and I just don’t think I could give it the attention it deserves. They also didn’t want to pay me, Mom.”

“They said you would get a meal out of it. I’ve heard the chef they hired is excellent. Is it really such a big deal? We’ve all really tried so hard to support you in your different path, sweetheart.”

“I know you have. And I appreciate it. But yes, it’s a big deal.

Wedding photography is hours and hours of pretty monotonous work after the wedding.

And I don’t want to be doing weddings anyway.

I only said I’d do the other stuff as a favor to you.

I don’t want all of my weekends spent driving back to Hun—home. ”

The line went quiet for several seconds.

“What am I supposed to tell my friends asking for your business card after everything they tried to do to help your new business get off the ground?”

“Well, given that it was a business that I didn’t want and never asked anyone to supp—”

“I know you like to live your life in an alternative culture, but—”

“ Mom .” I winced. “Is this about my being bisexual or me deciding that I didn’t want to be a society wedding photographer for all of your friends?”

Marshall silently applauded.

“It’s about the seven years you spent on two degrees that you aren’t using and the medical degree you refuse to explain why you didn’t finish.”

“I hated it, Mom. And—”

“You could’ve tried law school. Or gotten your master’s in something else.

It would have been easier to explain that to my friends than…

Like I’ve said before, it would be one thing if you had finally decided to pursue photography as a true vocation, but…

” My mother tutted softly. “I just want the best for you. And I hope you keep that in mind.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just wanted you to live up to your potential.”

Marshall mimed a hang-up motion.

“Because I love you, sweetie.”

I turned around away from him. “I know. But I have to go. I’m out taking photos, and it’s cold.” It took three more attempts at goodbye before my mom let me off the phone.

“Hmm… so how often have you heard from your mom since moving here…?”

“Marshall…” I pulled my coat tighter around me.

“Sorry,” he said with a small, sheepish wince. “You’re still going on vacation with all of them in a few weeks?”

“Yes.” I groaned. “I’m bunking with two of my nieces because Mom apparently said, ‘Oh sweet, Thea will be fine with it.’ I guess I sometimes wish I was as good at quitting people—or putting up boundaries I guess—as I was at quitting everything else.

” I sat down on a bench near a large magnolia tree, trying to ignore that my ass was going to be frozen soon.

“You don’t quit everything else.” Marshall sat beside me. “You know I love your mom. She was basically an extra aunt to me my entire childhood…”

“But…”

“She doesn’t let you be you.”

“She loves me. We have a special thing because I remind her of Grandpa, and—”

Marshall gazed across the field as a muscle twitched in his jaw. “She uses you as her emotional support child.”

“Have you met my other siblings?”

“Fair. But that doesn’t mean she can treat you the way she does. She drags you to parties with her country club people and then picks at you. I’ve seen it myself.” Marshall plucked an icicle off his beard and flicked it away.

“She’s just not very sensitive.”

“How many times has she called you since you moved here?”

“A few times a day.”

“How many times has she asked you about your life?”

I folded my arms over my chest, partially because I was cold and partially because this was a pot-and-kettle situation. “Well, while we’re on the subject of parents, have you talked to your dad about whatever is happening at the pub?”

Marshall jolted. “ Hey .” He looked up at the sky, which was an opaque mass of fluffy clouds. “So how ’bout those stars?” He clinked his travel mug with mine.

“Sure are pretty, ain’t they?” I chuckled, feeling a little like I’d won some battle I didn’t quite understand.

It wasn’t like Marshall to keep secrets. Between the late nights arguing with the pub manager and the multiple calls from his agent, something was up. If he really wasn’t ready to talk about it, I could be patient. Well, somewhat patient… for a little while at least.

“So… do you know anything about Courtney who works at the bookstore?”

“You have a crush on Courtney who works at the bookstore ? Samantha’s friend from college? That Courtney?”

“I didn’t say that…” I scrunched up my face. “But also… What do you know about her?”

Marshall rubbed his chin. “Just that she’s Samantha’s friend from college. She’s a musician. That’s about it.”

“Where’d they go to college?”

“One of the good ones? New England maybe?”

“Helpful.” I sighed. “I’m regretting asking. How do you know she’s a musician? Denise said something about that too.”

“Heard that through the grapevine. She’s never been very chatty with me, truth be told.

I’ve only been around her for a handful of family things for Samantha though.

Besides Samantha, I know she’s pretty close to Ms. Jeannie—she’s the owner of the plant shop the pub shares a building with. That’s really all I know I guess.”

“Why don’t men ever know anything?” My grumbling yawp of frustration echoed off the trees.

“You could—I don’t know—ask your lady for her number instead of grilling me.”

“ Blech , please don’t call her my lady like I’m talking about engaging in some kind of Ren Faire LARP. And asking you what you know is not grilling you. Geez Louise.”

“Or you could google her.”

“I’m not going to be that person. And in any case, there are three other moderately famous Courtney Starlings, including a retired congresswoman and a Christian teenybopper pop star, which seriously dilutes the useful results.

If I’m going all the way to page five of the search results for answers, I start to feel like a creep. ”

Marshall burst out into real, bellowing, and dorky laughter.

It had been too long since I had heard him laugh like that.

“If you like this woman, you should go for it. Take it slow but do it right. I think I’ve wasted too much damn time on things that didn’t love me as much as I loved them.

” The bitterness in his voice felt more chilling than the weather.

I gave him a side-armed hug, trying to put a lot of things into the hug he probably wasn’t ready for me to say out loud. “So what am I supposed to do?”

“You think I know the answer? I’m pretty sure I’ve established that I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing with anything right now. Figure out how to woo her, Thea.” He ruffled my hair.

“Woo her. Sure. Fine. Okay. So easy.” I pushed my mussed hair out of my face, feeling small snaps of static electricity between the gloves. “God, it really does smell like snow, doesn’t it?”

“Forecast says it might be a pretty big one. I’m going to drive to my meeting in Wichita on Saturday morning just in case it rolls in earlier than expected.”

I put the lens cover back on my camera. “Maybe the snow will tell me what to do.”