Page 121 of With Stars in Her Eyes

Flesh beginnings with porcelain endings but you never made a sound.

How did those gouging tides change to begging for rides?

Why do you keep finding yourself swimming,

while wishing you could drown?

So you struck out into the wildest of waters,

Let any blinding beacons fade

You found the stars in your eyes

were enough of a guide

To a new endless horizon miles away

from every mess you made

You might always be drifting

You might stay windswept and afraid

Your ship might have lost its anchor

But you can be its astrolabe.

Astrolabe, astrolabe

You can be its astrolabe.

So you chart a course for a fresh disaster,

Walk the plank in his wandering eye,

Decide to be the worst kind of monster,

But choose to never let them see you cry.

Their stones were always trying to sink you,

And keep you quiet and ashamed.

Their maps were never what you wanted,

You might be battered and broken,

But you never needed to be saved.

Your ship has star-flecked skies over the horizons,

And you are its astrolabe.

The melodic hook echoed in my brain after the track faded out. Comments flooded every single video. Somehow everyone knew this song was about an abortion even though it wasn’t explicitly said in the song. People kept referencing liner notes.

People talked about the song like Courtney was tellingtheirstory.

The best thing about it was that it wasn’t a haunting ballad. It wasn’t weepy. It felt epic. Like the moment the hero leaps aboard a ship to save the day.