Page 103 of With Stars in Her Eyes

He looked up from his phone. “Just to be clear,notthe kestrel that’s the smallest bird of prey in the falcon family native to North America?”

“Not the goddamn bird either.” I tugged the sleeves of my stolen sweatshirt down over my cold hands. “I used to watch all her YouTube videos. I lost my shit when I found out she was touring with the Violet Trikes. I was afan.I was saving up to see them as soon as they came to the States. Demetrius Adeyemi is British. I had always assumed she was British too but sang in that vague American accent that—”

“So, just to be clear though, you said youdidn’tfuck a rock star… meaning you didn’t spend the last three days with her? Because… not to be ungentlemanly, but you just climbed out of her hedges in a backward sweatshirt I don’t think belongs to you.”

“Of course Idid. I was just trying to pretend. Gah.” I checked the collar. Sure enough, the tag was in the front instead of the back. I sighed. “But… last night, really the last few days, it was…”

“Was…?”

“Amazing. Transformative. And…”

“And?”

A lie.

At least that was what my brain was screaming.

Marshall nudged my shoulder. “You’re just staring.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“It’s okay. Just checking you’re okay.” He checked his watch. “I’ve got to run—uh—literally. I’ll come see you downtown later though.” There was more in Marshall’s voice than mere curiosity.

“Downtown?”

“Aren’t you still bringing that nutty woo-woo camera of yours to set up at the book fair tonight? Isn’t it still—”

“Oh, fuuuuuck.”

“Wasn’t that why we cleared out your trunk last week to bring it over—”

I growled, hands tightening into fists. “Yes.”

“But you still forgot about it?”

“Obviously.”

After giving my shoulders a quick squeeze, he hoisted his bag of gear onto his shoulder and hustled off toward the baseball field.

I hurried toward my studio, hugging my arms around me as I recalled everything I needed to get done in the next three hours.

CHAPTER 36Courtney

I stood at the window Thea had just climbed out of. I allowed myself the luxury ofconsideringcrying for five whole minutes, but my face remained dry. I was still in control.

And also… oh…

I took a big deep breath in and pushed it out again, enjoying the feeling ofnothingwhile it lasted. This had become a daily habit. Soon after waking, I felt that dull, ominous ache on one side of my head, often along with the tingly paresthesia around one side of my mouth. I had spent every day since the disaster in LA waiting and expecting these harbingers.

But there were no subtle migraine symptoms so far today. I touched the hoop in my daith piercing. Maybe it was helping. Or maybe it was the new injection medication.

Or maybe it was the psilocybin.

Something did feel different today.

Goose bumps had risen on my arms. I had left the window open like I expected Thea to crawl back inside. I didn’t know how long I stood there.

This was pointless.