Page 70 of Uprising

But that was before, before Roman came back, before I realised that he hadn’t tricked me, that he hadn’t played me. It was easy to be a robot, easy to pretend when my heart was made of stone but now, now I know what really happened, and for those few weeks we were together, my soul lived in a way I know I’ll never get back.

I’ll never feel that again.

And the man sat opposite me is the very reason why.

So I guess it’s no wonder I can’t be that anymore. He’s the reason.

“I want you to be my perfect wife.” He states.

“I don’t give a shit what you want.” I reply.

He screws his face up. “Do you like me hurting you? Is that it?”

I glare at him. Like he doesn’t get off on it. Like he doesn’t enjoy putting the fear of god into me.

“You stole my child.” I state. “You stole her away…”

“You brought that on yourself.” He says. “Besides what does she matter when we will have children of our own?”

I grit my teeth. That’s not happening. No fucking way am I doing that. “I don’t want your child.” I half spit. I’m not simply going to replace Lara like she’s some broken object.

He acts like I’ve not even spoken. He takes a mouthful of food and then continues on.

“We should sort a nursery. Maybe it’s a bit premature but I like the idea of being ready.”

“I said no.”

He looks at me, tilts his head. “I’ll speak with your mother. I’m sure the two of you would love another shopping trip. You can buy things for the baby, for our new family.”

“I’m not pregnant. And I won’t be getting pregnant.”

He takes another mouthful, that smug smile on his face. “I want a boy first but if we have a girl I won’t complain.”

I don’t reply then. I just give up. It doesn’t matter what he says, none of this matters. Besides he had my IUD removed so it’s not like I can stop this.

But Roman is out there, Roman is coming. I just have to play ball, pretend for as long as I can now and know that he is going to make Darius pay. I just hope he does it quickly enough that I’m not carrying his child.

He reaches across, takes my broken left hand in his and though he’s being gentle enough I still fight the whimper of pain.

“I want to be kind to you Rose, I want to treat you right.”

“Then let me go.” The words are out my mouth before I can stop them.

He shakes his head. “That’s not an option.” He states. “So how about we start afresh? We used to enjoy each other’s company, do you remember, we used to flirt with one another, tease one another.”

I shut my eyes. I know I did flirt with him but it wasn’t to lead him on, it wasn’t because I wanted him in any romantic way, it was just that’s how everyone behaves with him. I wasn’t looking for something more. I wasn’t after something more.

“Let’s take a walk.”

“What?” I reply.

“Now, let’s go outside. Let’s work together, to make this right.”

“I don’t want too.” I reply. I want to hide in our room, cry myself to sleep. Mourn the loss of my child as well as the never ending pain of losing Roman.

Being outside, being in public means I have to pretend. I have to be all sunshine and roses when inside I’m more dead than ever.

He ignores my remark. Gets to his feet and gives me a look that forces me to mine too.