Page 6 of Unfaithfully Yours

FIVE

Kamran

“Where are you going tonight?” Melissa asked.

I had already told her twice, but she was distracted, as she usually was lately. Her eyes kept flying to the clock on the wall and I'd seen her check her phone twice in the last few minutes.

She probably didn’t know I could see her in the mirror. I was sitting at her vanity table combing back my dark hair, trying to look somewhat more presentable. A never ending battle.

If I couldn't look like I had been sleeping, I'd at least like to look clean cut. I'd shaved, showered, put on cologne and was just about done and ready to go meet the guys.

Melissa was in bed, her pale blond hair was pinned back in a somewhat casual messy bun, but she'd spent some time styling it earlier. And she'd put some makeup on. She'd kept it light, but I could see it. She rarely wore makeup.

My stomach churned when her phone lit up and she snatched it off the bedside table, typing a reply.

“Who's that?” I couldn't help asking. Digging , more like.

“Hm? Michelle,” she said, absently naming her sister.

I set down my comb, for a moment feeling like I couldn't even breathe, then I stood and before I knew what I was doing, I walked over to her, and sat on the edge of the bed, right against her leg so she couldn’t ignore me.

She glanced up, meeting my eyes, looking surprised and apprehensive before setting her phone down.

Despite myself, I glanced down at her screen. It was open to messages from Michelle. They were there on display like she had nothing to hide.

“What's up?” she asked, reaching out to rest a hand on my arm. I must have looked upset because yesterday she’d completely brushed me off but today she was giving me a chance.

“Do you want me to stay home?” I asked.

She blinked and smiled.

“What? No. You know I don't mind you going out with your friends.”

“I know.”

And I knew there was more to it than that. She didn’t want me to stay home.

I sat for a moment, searching for words.

“What is it?” she asked gently. “Just say it… you know you can tell me anything.”

“I just feel like... we don't spend much time together lately,” I admitted. “We don't even have sex.”

She glanced away, picking at the duvet.

“That's no one's fault,” she finally said.

“But—”

“God, why do you keep trying to talk about this when you’re on the way out the door,” she interrupted, chuckling. “Your friends are probably waiting for you. Go . Have fun. Don't think about me.”

I swallowed, unable to ignore the fact that she was pretty much pushing me out the door.

For some reason, my response to that was to lean in and kiss her.

The moment I did it, I knew it was all wrong. Not that she pushed me away, but there was a complete lack of chemistry, a lack of desire to be kissed, and while I tried to linger, to remind her of what we'd once had, her lips were stiff and offered only a quick peck.

Nothing like the last kiss I'd had.

I pushed the loud memory of Ryan’s lips away and drew back awkwardly, feeling embarrassed and completely unwanted.

“Right,” I muttered, standing. “I guess I'll go.”

“Ryan will be there, right?” she asked, sounding worried.

I nodded and she looked relieved.

“Good. You always have a good time when he's around,” she said, smiling softly. “You seem like you need him.”

“What about you?” I found myself asking, tempted to start the fight I'd been trying to avoid. “What are you planning to do tonight?”

“Just going to read for a bit,” she said. “Then sleep.”

I forced a tight smile.

“Alright. Goodnight.”

“Kamran?” she asked, stopping me as I reached the door.

I turned, hope rushing me that maybe she'd changed her mind and wanted me to stay.

“When are you going to be home?”

I swallowed down the burning feeling that rose up my throat.

“Why do you want to know?” I asked.

She shrugged.

“Just wondering when to expect you,” she said lightly.

Fuck that , I thought, with sudden vehemence. I wouldn't make it easier for her to cheat.

“I don't know,” I said.

It was a tiny little power move. Something that should have given me a tiny little ounce of satisfaction, but it didn't. It just meant that whatever she was planning to do, she would have to be fast, or risk being caught.

The idea that that jackass might be about to come into my home, maybe even into my own bed, nearly made me want to puke.

This was so fucked up.

I wanted to scream and beg her to stop.

How the hell could she do this ? The thought was like a goddamn record stuck on repeat.

It was humiliating.

I knew I should stay home and face it all head on, but instead, I was going to go out and get so shitfaced I couldn't remember what the hell was happening.

That was what I wanted. To get black out drunk, like I used to when I'd been young and stupid. Around when I'd met Melissa.

College had been fun that last year. With Melissa and Ryan and the other guys too. We'd turned into a unit. One that I'd thought would last and it had for years now, even though life had changed.

I'd gotten the position at the factory to program and repair the machines pretty early on, and she'd started working for the marketing company she was still at now. We'd suddenly started to make good money, got married and bought our house together.

Honestly, I'd thought that kids were next, but we were both so busy that the timing hadn’t seemed right yet.

In fact, nothing had really seemed right for a while now. That was the truth of the matter. I'd fallen into this routine, the one that was allwrong for a married couple.

For some reason I'd accepted that somewhere along the way we had become more like friends than husband and wife. It wasn’t just the lack of sex either.

The intimacy was gone. In fact, if I was being honest with myself, it had removed a weight off my shoulders.

Deep inside, the fact that Melissa never expected anything from me was something that I had liked.

How fucked up was that?

It almost made me feel like I had walked into this situation, like I deserved it.

Despite all the comforting things Ryan had said to me last weekend, the blame felt like it was on me somehow even though I couldn’t entirely explain why.

Those thoughts were still swirling through my head when I stepped into the pub a short while later.

When I saw Ryan, my feet seemed to stick to the floor.

He was leaning against the pool table, cue in hand, chatting with Ollie while Dave took his shot on the other side of the table.

Like a lion standing down wind, he seemed to sense me and glanced over, pinning me with those warm brown eyes.

The smile on his face shifted into something almost uncomfortable—more of a grimace than a smile.

He didn't need to say anything, didn't even need to come closer than twenty yards for me to know what he was thinking about. That little thing where I had laid under him, rock hard, while he touched and kissed me and for some reason, I'd liked it.

Yeah, that tiny little thing.

I hadn't been drunk enough to forget it, just drunk enough to let it happen.

I'd managed to mostly push away thoughts about it all week long. There were other things going on, after all, but it was like an ever-present itch.

I thought I’d handled hanging out with him well enough yesterday but suddenly standing here without Melissa as a distraction, the niggling thought that had been in the back of my mind came forward too strongly to ignore. Whywould Ryan want to do that?

At the time, he'd said that he was trying to make me feel better.

Well, hell, all men knew that getting your dick sucked would improve your night drastically, and it sure as hell had seemed like he was about to do something along those lines. But there was a limit to how good a friend could be before crossing over into just wanting to suck dick. Right?

Following Ryan's gaze, Ollie caught sight of me next as I forced my legs to move me toward the pool table.

“Hey, Kam!” he said coming forward and clapping my hand in greeting. “What are you having?”

“A Heineken,” I said automatically.

“Roger.”

He took off to get me a pint before I even reached the others.

“Hey man,” Dave said, coming to stand next to me but watching with hawk eyes while Ryan bent low over the table to take his shot. “You want in on the next game?”

“Yeah, I'm in.”

“Nice,” he said and clapped when Ryan's shot missed, immediately moving around the table to pick his next angle.

Finally, Ryan came over to stand next to me and bumped his shoulder to mine in greeting.

“He's so damn competitive,” he said loud enough for Dave to hear. “There's no money on the table Dave, calm down.”

Dave ignored him, choosing his angle carefully, and Ryan glanced over at me, searching my face before looking away.

“You good?” he asked.

“Peachy.”

His lips quirked. He glanced at me again, and my stomach squirmed with nerves. Jesus. What did that look mean? And why did he still smell so fucking good?! Seriously, I was going to have to have a word with him. It was like he was trying to seduce me.

Wait.

Seduce me ?

Was that what I thought was happening? That I was getting seduced? By Ryan?!

My brain could barely even process that one. I'd never been into any guys before and despite what had happened last weekend, I wasn't about to get seduced by one. Let alone my BFF.

No matter how good he smelled.

And he isn't trying to seduce you! I told myself. He had just been drunk and panicked because I was crying like a girl. And so, he did what he thought would make me stop. And hell, it had worked, right?

“Here, bud.”

“Oh, thank god,” I sighed at Ollie's appearance at my side with a drink for each of us.

“Yeah, it was that kind of week,” he agreed.

I took a long gulp of my pint, gratefully.

“I thought I was supposed to cover your drinks tonight,” I reminded him.

Ollie shrugged.

“Maybe next time,” he said.

I didn’t argue.

“You're not playing?” I asked after a minute watching the other two.

“I did,” Ollie said. “But Dave's taking turns demolishing us all. You'll be next.”

I snorted in agreement, watching Dave and Ryan play. Or more like, justwatching Ryan.

For some reason, I couldn't pull my gaze away.

Funny.I'd been so sure that I'd have to get black out drunk to stop myself from thinking of what Melissa might be doing right now. Instead, she was somewhere in the very back of my mind and there was someone else occupying all my thoughts.