Page 31 of Unfaithfully Yours

Ryan

I kept the smile on my face through the vows and didn’t bat an eye at the first kiss. I even clapped because the wedding ceremony went off without a hitch.

Kamran had been nervous as hell leading up to it. He’d been terrified of something going wrong, and I’d been there to hold my best friend’s hand leading up to the moment he walked down the aisle.

It gave me purpose to stand at his side and see him through the start of the next stage of his life.

Through the parties, fittings, and rehearsals, I had been okay with all of it.

Through the whole wedding I was okay with it.

Until the dancing started.

There was something about the lights dimming, and Kamran and Melissa in the center of the dance floor, looking like the perfect couple that suddenly hit me like a punch in the gut.

I would never have that.

Maybe one day, if I could just let go of these relentless feelings.

I could get married, sure.

But it would never be to Kamran. I would never have what Melissa did and it hurt like hell.

Years ago, I had determined that I was a masochist. It was the only explanation I had for not walking away from my straight best friend, but it had been too late by then anyway.

I already loved him. I was pretty sure that I always had.

The moment our eyes met and I saw that sea foam green surrounded by those dark lashes, I had been doomed.

I’d hoped the feelings would fade.

I’d never expected to be at his wedding years later, feeling like the whole world was empty while they slow danced across the floor.

Kamran had been so nervous that his hair wouldn’t cooperate. There was half a can of hairspray in it, and yet the humidity had made a few of the curls pop loose. It looked better that way. More like him. Kamran wasn’t refined. He was too honest to be.

How am I supposed to stomach this forever ? I wondered. Should I walk away now ?

The song ended, and another, faster one started. Other people started to join them, but I didn’t hear or notice much other than the way Kamran twirled Melissa, the way her pretty dress flowed around her feet. She was so damn lucky that she got to look at him like that, right in front of everyone.

They danced their way around the crowd, laughing and talking to the other guests until eventually, they were on the side where I was standing.

Melissa turned, talking to her mother, her hand still clinging to Kamran’s.

Even though I was in the shadows off the dance floor, Kamran seemed to sense me because he turned, and his gaze caught mine at once.

When our eyes met, he lit up, like a little kid on Christmas morning, giving me a warm smile that I couldn’t help but return.

“Come dance,” he said.

Grudgingly, I joined him, not really in the mood to jump around like my heart wasn’t currently sitting in the bottom of my shoes.

“We messed up our dance,” he laughed.

“No one noticed.”

“I don’t care if they did. I’m having the best time.”

His smile, bright and excited, seemed even warmer now. Warm enough to maybe even thaw me out.

“Thank you,” he said softly. “I couldn’t have done this without you.”

I wanted to argue. I was an addition to the wedding, not the main event. He could have easily had someone else be his best man.

Despite that, Kamran’s warmth flooded me. My heart thawed and started beating again, and all the love I felt for him overwhelmed me.

Who was I kidding?

I wasn’t going anywhere.

One day, when we were old and gray, I would still be Kamran’s best man; at his side and loving him without ever having all of him.

That was just going to have to be how it was.

For the hundredth time, I was going to have to accept that. And accept it over again whenever I felt weak.

Not having him in my life at all would be a far worse fate than being at his side as his friend.

I opened my eyes, the dream fading, leaving a strange, wistful feeling in its place.

Then Kamran shifted in my arms, and a feeling of wonder pushed everything else away. Even two years later, it was sometimes hard to believe that all of my dreams had come true.

Kamran’s eyes fluttered open and he squinted at me through those lovely, thick lashes, catching me watching him as he slept.

“What are you doing?” he asked, his voice thick from sleep. I marveled that I got to hear it like that. “Why are you awake?”

“Just thinking about how lucky I am,” I mused.

“I’m the gift that keeps on giving,” he agreed, smiling smugly. Eyes drifting shut, he wiggled down, deeper into my embrace, burying his face against my chest.

“Also, it’s almost ten. Time to get up. We told Lissa and Rob that we’d meet them for brunch.”

Kamran groaned and forced himself to sit up in the resort’s luxuriously soft bed, stretching out his arms before looking down at me.

“Don’t fall back asleep,” he said, bending to press a kiss to my cheek before climbing out of bed.

I heard him turn on the shower and considered going in after him, but I was so comfortable that I almost did fall back asleep.

When I heard the water shutting off, I forced myself to stand and went to the balcony doors, pushing them open.

The warm ocean breeze carried over the sand, and I shut my eyes, enjoying it.

We needed this vacation. Life was a grind sometimes. When Robert had suggested it, me and Kamran had both immediately been on board.

That was one of the most miraculous parts of all of this. Somehow, after letting a bit of time pass, Kamran and Melissa had grown into friends again.

Sometimes I still felt bad about the fact that I’d stolen her husband, but Melissa didn’t seem to see it that way. She’d said more than once that me and Kamran had always been inevitable.

I couldn’t deny that now.

Our years together had only made me love him more. The longing had been replaced with completeness and familiarity.

For the first time in my life, I felt completely whole, and Kamran was the reason for that. He was my other half, and today I was going to make it official.

Two arms suddenly came around my waist. Kamran rested his chin on my shoulder from behind, taking in the view with me.

“What were you thinking about?” he asked.

“You,” I answered.

“That’s what you always say,” he said, chuckling.

“Well, it’s usually true.”

He shook his head, pressed a kiss to my neck and then pulled away.

“Come on, we said we’d meet at the restaurant in five minutes.”

“Shit.”

I hurried around the room, getting changed into the outfit I’d purchased just for today. When Kamran wasn’t looking, I pulled the little box from the hidden compartment in my luggage and stuffed it into my pocket, heart racing in case he looked.

Luckily, he was too busy fiddling with his curls. He was in that green shirt that made his eyes pop, and a pair of clean khaki shorts.

“You look great,” I informed him. “As always.”

He snorted.

“Yeah, yeah, that’s the other thing you always say. Let’s go.”

Melissa and Rob were already sitting at a table on the patio when we arrived. I’d held the spot for us last night, and looking at it now, it was as perfect as I’d thought it would be with the white sand and the ocean as our backdrop.

Melissa gave me a look, and I nodded subtly, letting her know that I was ready for what was to come. During dessert, I was going to get on one knee next to Kamran’s chair and propose.

My heart was racing as we took our seats. This was it. This was the spot that it was going to happen.

I didn’t know how I was supposed to sit through a meal while this hung over me. It was the only thing I could think about.

Every time I looked at Kamran, emotion overcame me. I hoped he would be willing to get married for a second time. I thought he would say yes, but it was still nerve-racking.

Robert and Melissa took up the slack in the conversation, chatting about the resort and the different excursions we could do.

I tried my best to take part, and Kamran didn’t seem to notice that I was freaking out.

Finally, the waitress came over with the dessert menus and I took a deep breath, readying myself.

“I’m okay, thanks,” Kamran said before I could even say anything.

The others agreed, the waitress left, and suddenly, brunch was over.

“Want to go for a walk on the beach?” Kamran asked me.

I was dumbfounded for a second and looked at Melissa and Robert who both nodded to me, silently encouraging me to go.

“Uh, sure,” I said, pushing to my feet.

I supposed the beach was just as good a spot to propose.

I pushed to my feet, ready to follow after Kamran who was already walking away.

“Good luck!” Lissa hissed. “Stay calm.”

“I’ll try…”

Kam smiled at me when I reached him, hooked his arm in mine and led me off the balcony, down the path and onto the warm sand.

It felt nicer out here than in the restaurant. I’d kind of wanted the audience, though. I’d wanted to make it a bit of a scene and proclaim my love to the world.

“You know how much I love you, right?” Kamran suddenly asked.

I looked at him. He was staring out over the water, his gaze far away.

“Of course,” I said, and he finally turned to look at me.

“Good,” he said. “So this shouldn’t be too much of a surprise.”

When he slowly lowered onto one knee, I begged to differ. This was very, incredibly, ridiculously surprising.

“Kamran—”

“Wait, I have a speech,” he said nervously, pulling out a little scrap of paper along with a small white box. His hands were shaking.

“Oh my God.”

“Ryan,” he started. “You are my everything and—oops, I already missed a part. Ugh .”

He crumpled up the paper, shoving it in his pocket and opened the box.

“I love you,” he said, instead. “Please say yes.”

I was still staring, tears blurring my vision because holy hell, I couldn’t doubt anything now, could I?

“Well?” he prompted nervously, “what do you say?”

I couldn’t think of any way to answer except to drop to my own knee in front of him and pull the little black box from my pocket.

I could see the shock across his face, and then suddenly both of us were laughing, tears blurring our vision.

We pushed into each other’s arms, laughing and both repeating ‘ yes ’ over and over again.

“Give me that ring,” Kamran finally said, and we parted enough for me to put the ring on his finger before he then put his on me.

From a distance, I could hear cheering, and we both turned and looked toward the restaurant.

Robert and Melissa were standing on the patio watching and clapping along with some of the other patrons.

“Did they help you with this?” I demanded.

“Yeah, they said this would be the perfect moment.”

“Helping you hijack my proposal, those traitors,” I said, laughing.

I couldn’t stop smiling, and Kamran was the same.

He smiled a lot nowadays. We both did.

Life together was good, and now I knew it was going to be forever.

I didn’t know how I had ever gotten so lucky.

Kamran

It was a small wedding this time, just me, Ryan, our parents and a small group of friends.

My parents had suddenly leaned into me being gay sometime over the last two years.

They’d both come to my first pride with me and Kamran. They’d organized a couple of dinners to get to know their future in-laws better, and now, even though there was no bride, my mom insisted that we still do the first look.

It was a sweet tradition, and even though I’d seen Ryan in a suit before, I was still nervous as we were led to stand back to back at the venue.

I’d seen him in a suit plenty of times, this shouldn’t be any different, and yet when we turned around to see each other for the first time on our wedding day, and our gazes met, tears instantly filled my eyes.

This was different, completely different.

Ryan wasn’t in any random suit, he was in the one we had picked to match each other on our wedding day. He was cleaned up, his thick hair combed neatly, and emotions clouding his eyes.

There was a series of awes from the guests, and I knew everyone could see it.

Our love was undeniable.

This may be my second wedding, but I was filled with peace at the knowledge that this time, I got it right.

END