Page 23 of Unfaithfully Yours

SIXTEEN

Ryan

I woke up to an aching head. Meanwhile, the butterflies in my stomach mingled with last night’s booze in a very unpleasant way.

The mysterious phenomenon of waking up at the ass crack of dawn after drinking was in full swing. Kamran was sound asleep in my embrace, his arm around my waist.

If I wasn't mistaken, a tiny bit of drool was on my shoulder.

I tried not to laugh, but it was all so crazy.

He was here. With me. And he'd let me fuck him last night.

That thought made my stomach twist up with a bunch of mismatched emotions. If I hadn't had a couple drinks on board, I never would have suggested it or even tried for it. Not yet anyway. I’d thought it was too early.

For the past—his entire life—Kamran had thought he was straight. He'd never even kissed a man until a couple weeks ago when my resolve broke.

I'd wanted to take it slow, to touch him a bit down there for a few weeks, to show him how good I could make it feel for him.

Then, if he thought he wasn't into the idea of bottoming, I wouldn't have pushed it.

We could have stuck to the rest. Everything we did together was satisfying and fulfilling.

But it was done now, and it had been phenomenal.

I rolled toward him, hugging him against my chest.

He let out a sleepy little sound and I thought I could probably die happy now, except that the movement had turned the churning in my stomach to something very bad indeed and I had to get out of bed ASAP or Kamran was going to wake up to the nasty surprise of me puking all over him.

I extracted myself as quickly as I could without waking him and hurried to the washroom, immediately up ending my guts into the toilet for a couple minutes before the nausea passed enough for me to get back on my feet and into the shower.

The water helped. It cleared my head a bit, enough to curse myself for having thrown caution to the wind and mixing booze like that.

I'd just been so happy to let it all out finally.

Then upset by the reality. Then happy again when Kamran had showed up at my door like he'd come just to prove Dave wrong.

And he'd kissed me in front of him too. I'd done it as a Fuck You to Dave because I was still salty, but Kamran had met me half way, not even realizing.

That was just how it was when you found your other half, I guessed. They knew what you needed without any words.

I shut off the shower and dried off before poking my head out into the bedroom.

Kamran was still curled up under the covers. It didn't look like he'd even twitched. I must have really tired him out, I mused, pride filling me.

Smiling, pulled on clean boxers and a t-shirt before creeping downstairs and put on a pot of coffee. Sipping water helped while it was being brewed, but the first sip of coffee was even better.

I sat down on the island, taking my time drinking it in case my stomach started to react again.

“You're up early.”

I glanced over, surprised I hadn't heard Kamran coming down the stairs.

He was leaning against the doorway in nothing but his boxers. His hair was doing something crazy and I was pretty sure I could see the shiny streak of dried come stuck in the hair on his belly.

“I could get used to this,” I found myself saying.

He smiled ruefully.

“I'm sure you could,” he remarked, walking behind me to get a cup of coffee for himself.

When he came to sit next to me, he kissed my cheek first and yeah, this was heaven. Just me and Kamran, waking up together, doing normal, domestic things. Even just sitting at each other's side with nothing being said.

My heart felt so fucking full it was ridiculous.

“You hungry?” I asked.

He shook his head.

“Not yet. Need to wake up first.”

I nodded, unable to stop looking him over. He caught me of course and his cheeksturned pinkand I didn't think I'd ever been so smitten. Jesus Christ. I'd made my best friend blush.

“What?” he demanded gruffly. “Just say it.”

I bit back a smile unsuccessfully.

“How are you feeling?” I asked.

He gave me a look.

“If you're asking if my ass hurts, yes,” he said. “It stings like a fucking bitch. Happy?”

“No,” I said, but he groaned because I couldn't stop grinning.

“Did you like it though? You did, right?”

“Oh my god. Can we please stop talking about this?”

I laughed, tried to force myself to stop and managed to get my lips down to a normal smug smile.

“Oh god. I'm never going to live this down,” Kamran sighed.

He took a sip of his coffee, not looking at me.

“What are you thinking?” I asked after a moment.

He glanced at me, meeting my gaze and then letting it fall down my form before looking away and shaking his head.

“This has all been very... unexpected. ”

I reached out, rubbing a hand over his back and he leaned into the touch, sighing softly.

“I guess it's a lot for you,” I agreed. “I forget I had so much more time to get used to wanting my best friend more than I want food or water.”

“You're so conceited,” Kamran informed me. “I didn't say I wanted you like that.”

“It was implied.”

Kamran snorted.

“I didn't know you could read minds like that...”

I stared for a moment.

“Did you just admit it?” I asked slowly, grin growing again.

“No,” he argued.

Before I knew it, I was on my feet, engulfing him in a big hug, laughing when he half-heartedly struggled against me.When he gave in and turned in my arms, hugging me tightly, all the laughter died.

I held on like he was a buoy and I was kicking under water. Sometimes over the years it had felt like drowning. But now I finally had him to hold onto.

“Kamran. Please tell Lissa.”

It was probably the best thing I could say to ruin the moment. I could feel Kamran tense all the way through his body.

“I've been trying,” he said. He pulled back enough to look at me. “You know that.”

I nodded but couldn't quite commit to the gesture and he saw that, his green eyes hardening.

“What?” he asked.

“It's just—it can't be that hard. You should just tell her when you see her?—”

“She didn't even come home last night,” he argued. “She wasn't answering her phone.”

“I know,” I said, gently. “But all week?—”

“It's not that easy Ryan, she doesn't want to talk to me.”

“You don't need a specific time,” I said. “Just spit it out.”

He stared at me, then pushed me firmly away.

“I'm going to go take a shower,” he said.

I swallowed, wanting to fix this but then he turned and walked away, not waiting for a response.

For a moment, I stood there and then I sagged back down into my seat, head throbbing with renewed vigour.

This wasn’t my job to fix for him. I could stand by his side and even hold his hand while he told her, but if he just wouldn’t do it then there was nothing else I could do.

I took some pain killers and then resumed fidgeting in my seat, waiting for him to come back down.

When he did, sometime later, he was fully dressed wearing my clothes and a scowl.

“Will you come with me?” he asked.

“What?” I asked, not following.

He looked down, hugging his arms like he was shielding himself.

“Will you come talk to Melissa with me?” he asked. “I don't think I can do it alone.”

I stood and went to him, pulling him into my arms and holding him while I tried to find my voice.

“Come on, Ryan,” Kamran groaned, pressing his face into my shoulder. “Tell me yes, or to fuck off already.”

I shook my head.

“No way am I ever telling you to fuck off, Kam,” I chuckled. “I'll come with you, of course. I’ll support you.”

He relaxed against me, finally unwinding his arms from that protective position and wrapping them around my waist.

“Thank you,” he whispered against my neck.

For a long minute, we just held on, breathing each other in.

“When?” I finally asked.

He took one more deep breath against my neck, grounding himself, and then pulled back.

“After breakfast,” he said. “I'm starving now.”

I nodded, smiling.

“Sit down. Let me cook for you.”

He chuckled and went to the table, taking a seat and watching with his chin resting on his hand as I moved around the kitchen.

I wasn't very hungry, but I knew that both he and Melissa weren't big for cooking in general. They seemed to live on takeout and frozen meals, so whenever Kamran came over, it had become my thing to make him something.

This morning was no different, but it felt different. This was the first time I was making him breakfast after a night spent together. It was a first for us and every time we had a first, it seemed to only set us up for more. A new normal that felt pleasant andnatural .

When I came back to the table with plates laden with eggs, bacon and toast, Kamran reacted like it was a feast.

“Now I could get used to this. ”

“Come for the sex, stay for the breakfast,” I replied.

He grunted in agreement, already shovelling eggs into his mouth.

“Did I tell you I'll be away on Monday?” I asked, trying to eat a piece of bacon slowly enough that I could back out if my stomach rebelled.

He shook his head, suddenly perching me with an intense look.

“What?” I asked slowly.

“Where are you going?” he asked, just as slow.

“My team has an away game,” I said, then added proudly, “semi-finals.”

His stare dimmed in intensity and he nodded, but kept shooting me looks as he ate, almost like he wassuspicious.

Well that was—not surprising actually—he had just caught his partner of so many years cheating on him after all...

I swallowed and set down the bacon, choosing to go back to alternating sipping water and coffee.

“I'll miss you,” I said gently. “But it'll only be one night. I think the kids are more excited to spend the night in a hotel than they are to play.”

“Uh huh.”

“You know how teenagers are.”

He nodded, looking a little glum while he buttered his toast. I kicked him under the table, making him look at me again.

“What's up?” I asked. “What are you thinking?”

“Why didn't you come in me last night?” he suddenly asked.