Page 30 of Unfaithfully Yours

TWENTY-TWO

Ryan

Kamran hadn't called me or texted me once.

Since I was trying to give him space, I had to get updates about what he was up to from Dave and Ollie.

And that came with comments like‘ what the hell are you doing ?’ and ‘ why are you torturing yourself ?’ and the worst of all,‘ he misses you. Just call him, you asshole. ’

He was moving into his new place today. He got the guys to help him and excluded me. Dave told me after he left and I could hear in his voice that he thought this was my doing.

It was, but still, I had to do it.

Kamran had been right about his comment at the hotel. He’d said I wanted him to prove he wanted me. At the time I’d argued but as our separation went on, I knew it was true. It would be better for him to be single for a bit, but that wasn’t my only reason for doing it.

The problem was that I wasn’t sure what it would take for that insecure part in the back of my brain to accept that he loved me too.

I was sitting in my office, absently watching some strength building exercises on YouTube to try to distract myself when I looked up to see his car pull to a stop outside the window.

Without thinking, I jumped to my feet.

The first thing I thought was finally. The second thing I thought was, no, it hasn't been long enough. It takes longer than a month to discoveryourself.

And he might not even be here to get back together. As far as I knew, he was here to give me a sweater back and tell me he was moving to Maui, or something.

I pushed to my feet, heart racing with nerves and made it to the front door, opening it just as Kamran lifted his hand to knock. He froze, looking at me.

As usual, he looked good. Clean-shaven and neat, just how he looked straight out of the shower.

I pushed away the onslaught of memories and leaned against the doorframe, trying to act normal.

“Hey Kamran,” I said, somehow inflecting casualness into my voice. “What's up?”

His brows rose.

“What's up?” he repeated, lips quirking. “ That's what you want to say to me after not seeing or speaking to each other for weeks?”

I felt my cheeks heating and shrugged self-consciously.

“What's that?” I asked, trying to change the subject and gesturing to thelarge book he held to his chest.

“Can I come in?” he asked.

Despite myself, I hesitated. How was I supposed to keep my hands to myself if we were alone in my house?

He looked so warm and welcoming and my arms itched to go around his narrow waist and pull him against me. I wanted his face to nestle into its usual spot against my neck where I could rest my head against his curls.

“Please?” he asked and I stepped aside.

He came inside silently, moving through my home like it was his own place, which warmed my heart.

He hung his jacket on the hook, right over top of mine, went to the living room, pushed the throw out of the way and sat on the couch, patting the seat next to him for me to take.

Why was I so nervous?!

Kamran had come here for a reason, and I had a feeling it was something big by the way he was looking at me and the way he was holding that book like it was something precious.The determination in his eyes wasn’t to be ignored either.

Swallowing, I went to his side, slowly lowering, leaving space between us.

He gave the empty space a look and pursed his lips, but didn’t say anything.

“You going to tell me why you’re here?” I asked.

With a fortifying breath, Kamran nodded and then lowered the book he was holding so that I could see the cover.

It was his wedding album.

Hurt shot through me. I didn’t know where exactly he was going with this, but seeing their picture together felt a little bit like he was rubbing it in my face.

“What the hell is this about?” I demanded.

“Just look at it,” he said softly. “Please.”

Too weak to ever say no to him, I grudgingly opened the book.

The first pictures were of Melissa getting ready, followed by the groomsmen.

Kamran looked so good in these pictures. Almost as good as he’d looked on the day. After flipping through a few pages I sighed and looked at him.

“What’s the point of this Kamran?”

“Don’t you notice something about them, Ry?”

“Like what?” I asked incredulously. “You got married. It was a nice wedding. I remember. I was there.”

“Ryan,” he sighed. “ Look at the pictures would you?”

I looked down at the book in my lap at a loss.

“Look at this one,” he said, pointing to a picture of all the groomsmen together. I shook my head, confused and he flipped to another page, pointing at a picture of him and Melissa dancing.

“What—”

He pointed into the shadows behind them and there I was, looking forlorn.

“Shit,” I muttered.

“Yeah.”

I flipped uneasily back to the picture of the groomsmen and saw that I was the only one not looking at the camera.

Nope. I was looking at Kamran. I couldn’t even blame past-me because he was looking so good that day.

In fact, in nearly every picture of me that made it into this book, I was staring at him.

I’d always been a love-sick fool, I’d just thought I was better at hiding it.

“Now look at how I look at Melissa,” Kamran instructed, pointing out a couple pictures of them together. He looked happy with a bright smile in all of them. My stomach twisted into a knot.

“Where are you going with this?” I asked.

“I’m going here,” he said and flipped the pages again until coming to a stop at a picture of the three of us together.

Melissa looked beautiful and so filled with joy as she smiled at the camera. She was holding Kamran’s hand, but he wasn’t looking at her. He was looking at me.

My breath caught in my throat.

“Do you see it?” Kamran asked. He was looking at me closely, but I couldn’t tear my gaze away from the picture. I couldn’t bring myself to accept it, not until he said it.

“I’ve always loved you, Ryan. I was just too stupid to realize it.”

I shook my head in disbelief as I finally understood why Kamran was showing me this.

“Melissa saw this picture and she knew.”

“No…”

“ Yes , Ryan.”

He reached out, pushed the book off my lap and took both of my hands while I sat there, too shocked to move.

“Don’t you understand?” he asked gently. “I married the wrong person.”

“Kamran,” I whispered, because this couldn’t be happening. It had to be a dream. Except his hands in mine were warm, his grip firm, and he was looking at me with just as much love as he had in that picture. So much love that I couldn’t deny it was really how he felt.

“Don’t send me away again,” he said firmly. “I don’t need to go find myself, Ry. I finally know who I am, and that is a person who honestly, has only ever felt whole with you.”

I swallowed, fighting back the overwhelming rush of emotions. Most notable was the feeling of relief because I finally felt like I could let myself have this.

Not a part of him, not from a distance or behind someone’s back. Kamran was mine, and I was his.

“Well?” he asked when I still couldn’t speak. “What do you say? Don’t leave me hanging.”

Unfortunately, I had to because there was no way I could talk without crying. Instead, I did what I was dying to do and pushed forward, sending us both falling into the cushions.

Kamran’s startled laugh was quickly silenced by my lips. His arms came around me, and he held me tight, and for a long moment, I stayed there, just feeling his warmth, his lips, his love.

When I finally lifted my head, his eyes fluttered open, and his gaze fixed on me lovingly.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said.

“Make it a hell yes,” I said, grinning.

It struck me that somehow, we were in the exact same position that we had been on that first night, but so much had changed.

Kamran was no longer with Melissa, and instead of there being tears, we were both smiling.

“You’d better get up and get ready,” Kamran suddenly said.

“For what?” I asked, wondering what other surprises there were in store.

“My parents are coming to my place for dinner,” he said, stroking my back leisurely. “I want you to be there.”

“They’ve seen me in sweatpants before.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “but they’ve never seen you as my boyfriend before.”

At my shocked look, he patted my back and lifted to press a quick kiss to my lips.

“Don’t worry, Dave and Ollie will be there as our backup.”

He pushed me gently until I gave in and climbed off of him.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked, trying to shake the lingering shock that he really meant all of this.

“Of course. I already told them I’m gay. They’ll probably be happy to know that you’re the man I’m with. They already love you.”

My brows shot up.

“Oh my god, what did they say? How did it go?” I asked, jumping to my feet.

Kamran laughed and pushed me toward the stairs.

“I’ll tell you on the way,” he said.

“Are you sure?—?”

“Yes!” he said. “You have to come, I already told my mom you would be there. Besides, you can help me break in my new bed after they leave.”

I shook my head in wonder, gave him another quick kiss that I had to drag myself away from and then hurried upstairs to change.

By the time I came downstairs, I couldn’t stop smiling.

“I know I switched into an alternate reality,” I informed Kamran, taking his hand. “How else is it that you told your parents before I did?”

He shrugged.

“I’m a go-getter, obviously.” Then his smile faded a little, and he added, “I want to be my true self from now on.”

I understood the sentiment. There had been enough hiding in the shadows for both of us.

“Then, let’s do dinner with my parents next weekend,” I said.

He searched my face and then nodded.

“Deal.”