Page 27

Sandy Point

JUSTIN

My relief when Axel pokes his head into the shed is, well, indescribable . I knew he would come back when he could, but I was afraid.

The police were at his house, searching for me apparently. What would they say to him? Would they try and convince him to hand me in? I’m not worried that he actually would, but what have I dragged him into? And what if they found me? They’d take me back to my family, I suppose. I hadn’t done anything wrong. But my family would just send me back to that place and I don’t think I could escape a second time and I don’t think I could survive another stint there.

It’s been a long day, just waiting. Waiting and wondering and worrying. At one stage I have to take a piss, and fortunately find a rusty old tin to do it in, all the time trying to be as quiet as I can. I certainly don't want to attract any attention. Yeah, it's been the longest day. But Axel is here now, finally, and I’m so pleased to see him I almost forget about everything else. Almost.

I don’t realize how hungry I am until I smell pizza, and it almost brings me to tears. It’s a little bit of normality in a world which has been turned on its head.

I say a silent prayer of thanks to whatever powers of the universe helped me find my way to him. I try not to think about the what ifs …what if I hadn’t tried to see him one more time? What if he hadn’t come home last night?

But I’m here, he’s here. And the miracle of it all is the way he looks at me, the way he holds me and kisses me. I know my brain is totally scrambled at the moment, but one thing I do know. This is real. Axel does care about me, and he doesn’t think I’m shameful or broken or anything like that. And if I keep him as my point of reference, I can keep myself from drowning in the lies they’ve fed me.

I’m not broken, just confused.

After we’ve eaten and kissed and cuddled, and I feel relaxed and safe again, Axel unpacks the bags he’s brought with him.

He’s brought two new phones, and hands one to me.

“This one’s yours. And this is one I’ll keep just for communicating with you. We should keep them separate from everything else. Let me text you, and you can save my number in your contacts.”

"Okay."

Ping.

"Fuck! I should have put it on silent," growls Axel in a half-whisper.

I switch the phone into silent mode and save his number in contacts straight away.

“Are you… are you worried they’ll ask for your phone?”

Axel nods. “It makes sense. They already think I know where you are, or that you’ll contact me, so, yeah, I think they will ask for it at some point.”

He’s also brought me clothes that fit better than his which hang way too big on me. I can’t help the tears that well up. His care and concern are overwhelming. I can’t believe how good he is to me. Despite everything they told me at the Centre, Axel does care for me.

“What?” he asks.

I hug him. “I can’t believe everything you’re doing for me,” I whisper, my head against his shoulder.

“Of course, I am. I’d be a useless sort of boyfriend if I didn’t help you when you needed it,” he retorts, though he keeps his voice soft and low.

“Are we still boyfriends then?”

“Of course. Though to be honest, I thought you’d dumped me when I didn’t hear from you for months. I never stopped loving you though.”

“I swear I wrote to you.”

“I know. It’s okay. I believe you,” he says reassuringly and rubs gentle circles on my back. “We’re together now. I missed you so much…”

“Now what, though? I’m basically on the run.”

“Only until you turn nineteen, then you'll have the means to look after yourself, right? And I have a plan.”

I’m relieved he thinks there’s a way out of this. He sits down and pulls me down onto the floor beside him, where the cold of the wooden planks seeps through my pants, making me shiver.

“I’m going to take you to Melbourne,” he starts. “You can stay with my friend’s grandmother. You’ll be safe there. And she’s an ally. She looked after my friend when his parents rejected him.”

“Because he’s…?”

“Yes. He came out to his parents, and they tossed him out. But his grandma’s cool. She knows your situation and she’s happy to let you stay there as long as you need.”

“Wow, that’s really nice of her. Especially as she doesn’t even know me.” I’m shocked and overwhelmed at the generosity of someone who is a stranger, a relative of a friend of a friend. It’s heartening to know there is support out there. I had felt so alone in the Centre.

“When you turn 19, you won't be dependent on your parents anymore and they can't make you go back. I can lend you money if you need it until the inheritance gets paid. So this is just for a couple of months. You’ll have to lie low though… you won’t be able to leave the house or tell any of your friends where you are."

“I don’t care about that,” I hasten to assure him. “And it’s not that long anyway.”

“That’s what I thought,” Axel smiles and kisses me.

“How will I get down there?” I frown, wondering about the logistics of getting from here to there without being picked up by security cameras or police or something.

“I’ll drive you,” Axel replies.

“Um, if they really believe I’ll come to you, won’t they be watching your house or your car?”

“Maybe. But I've already thought of that. We won’t go in my car. I’ve got an idea about that, but I have to make a phone call after I leave here.”

“Okay. When… when do you want to leave?”

“I think we need to get out of here as soon as possible. I’m sure the cops will be back. If I can get things sorted in time, I’d like to leave in the early morning.”

Suddenly I’m exhausted. The last few days have been physically and emotionally draining, and the prospect of continuing on the run is daunting.

“Can you stay for a bit?” I ask him.

Axel must sense my fear and exhaustion, because he doesn’t argue, just unrolls the sleeping bag that he’s brought with him, unzips it and lays it on the hard floor.

“C’mon, let’s lie down for a while. I don’t have to go yet.”

We lie down together and he holds me close. I rest my head on his shoulder, one arm around his chest, and we stay like that for a long time, without speaking. Silence has always been comfortable between us, and it still is now.

I relax into the warmth of his body against mine, the strength of his arms holding me, the soothing steady beat of his heart. The future is uncertain, but right here, right now, I’m safe and I’m loved.