Page 16

Sydney

JUSTIN

We stop just inside the door of Axel's room, lips finding each other again, before heading to the bed. I’m trembling either from anticipation or nervousness, maybe both. I don’t want to stop tonight. I want to give him everything, but I’ve never…

“Are you okay?” Axel asks me gently, softly taking my chin in his fingers and lifting it so I’m obliged to look him in the eyes.

“Yeah. Just, um, nervous,” I whisper, blushing and embarrassed.

“We don’t have to do anything,” he reassures me. “We can just make out and cuddle, if that’s what you want. I just want to be with you tonight.”

He gently tucks a few longer strands of hair behind my ear.

“Um. I think I want more. I’m just… it’s just… I’ve haven’t…”

“That’s okay, I get it,” Axel kisses me softly on the forehead. “And I’m not going to fuck you tonight, well, not with my dick anyway. I know you're an adult, but you're also still in school. It’s kind of a big step, so for me that’s a hard limit until you graduate.”

He continues. “As for the rest, everything else is on the table as far as I’m concerned, so it’s up to you. We’ll only go as far as you decide you want to, and you can call it off at any stage if you change your mind. It’s not a problem. I want to take things as slow as you need.”

He cradles my face in his warm hand. "We have as much time ahead of us as we could ever want."

Now that I know sex, actual penetrative sex, is off the table for now, it does take the pressure off, even if half of me had been fully on board with the idea.

“Can we play it by ear? See how the night goes?”

“Absolutely. I’m yours tonight.”

“Okay,” I breathe, and stepping away, open up the space between us and without taking my eyes off him, pull my t-shirt over my head.

Axel does the same.

We stand there looking at each other for a moment, both breathing heavily, fully present, taking in the moment, each appreciating the man in front of us.

I drop my hand to the button of my shorts, but Axel steps forward and nudges my hand out of the way.

“Let me,” he says, and pops the button open. The zip rasps as he slides it down. He slips his hand inside, my toes curling and tingles running up my spine as his hand caresses my package, giving a gentle squeeze, while pulling me closer to his chest with his other hand. My cock is already pressing hard against my boxers and a wet patch stains the fabric. The warmth of his hand… I groan. Axel bites his lip and his breath quickens. When I look at him, his pupils are enormous and he looks as turned on as I feel.

“Fuck,” he murmurs, the hand between us gently stroking me through my boxers.

He pulls my shorts and boxers down over my hips and when they slip to the ground, I kick them off. He backs me against the bed and pushes me gently down onto it, taking advantage of the separation to strip his own clothes off, before joining me on the mattress.

Completely naked, body to body, we kiss and run our hands over skin we soon won’t be able to touch. Memorizing. My senses seem exaggerated, every touch magnified, every sound highlighted. My body, my skin, my psyche know this is our last night, and every part of me has turned up to etch it into my memory with the vividness necessary to sustain me until we can find our way back to each other.

We’re connected: from lips, to chest, abdomen, hips and legs. All touching. Warmth, rough skin, coarse hairs, stubble. A kaleidoscope of sensations.

And tongues. Our tongues are dancing around each other, sliding and caressing, making promises we can’t put into words.

Axel’s lips run along my jaw and down my neck, dropping wet, open-mouthed kisses as he does so. He runs his mouth over my shoulders and across the muscles of my chest, which shiver at his tender exploration. He sucks on my nipples, his tongue traces the contours of my chest and abdomen. He leaves no spot untouched, and I wonder if he’s making a mental map of my body that he’ll return to when I’m no longer here.

The press of his lips is soft and tender, and when he finds his way lower, he caresses my inner thighs with his tongue, lazily and languidly, wetly sliding over the fine hairs. The sharp sting of teasing nips at the soft skin make me twitch and jerk, then he kisses the same spot, and loves on it with his tongue.

My cock is hard at attention, weeping, and I’m desperate for his mouth and his tongue, but he’s making love to me and he’s in no hurry.

I groan. “ Please, Axel.”

The stubble on his face grazes my inner thighs as he turns his head to look up at me.

“Tell me what you want,” he smirks, because of course he knows, he just wants to hear the words. If I wasn’t so strung out, I’d roll my eyes, but I am, so…

“Take me in your mouth,” I beg.

“Here?” he moves up and closes his mouth around one of my hipbones and takes a nip.

“Aahh, no! Fuck that! You know what I want.”

“Where then? Tell me. I wouldn’t want to get it wrong,” he teases, and I can feel his smile against my skin.

“My cock, dammit, you know…ungh.” The sudden warmth of Axel's mouth around my cock renders me speechless, and my hips levitate off the bed as he sucks me deep and hums around my shaft. I release a series of unintelligible sounds as he bobs up and down, his lips dragging the silky skin over my hard shaft. I’m so turned on, I’ve got no control. I’m not going to last. My cocks swells more and my balls start to draw up, but Axel pulls off before I go over the edge. I release a frustrated groan of protest.

“Don’t stop, please! ”

But apparently Axel has other plans. He pushes my thighs up and hooks my legs over his shoulders. Then he slides his hands under my ass cheeks, lifting them and holding them apart. Cold air rushes over my crack. My heart stutters, my body trembles. My legs are spread and he can see my hole. I’m completely exposed to him. I have never felt so raw and vulnerable, so stripped bare.

When his tongue laps at my taint, I whimper. And when his tongue finds my hole and circles it, I moan. The rawness is overwhelming, and one part of me is shocked that I’m allowing him to do this… and another part is shamelessly loving it. I have the feeling that I’m laying my heart and body down for him. And then when his tongue pushes inside, I die a little… a beautiful floating exquisite death and…

“More,” I beg, pushing shamelessly back against his tongue.

Oh my god. What kind of magic is this? A deep, base part of me wishes I could see his tongue pressed inside my hole, my thighs spread wide for him; wanton, reckless and needy.

I moan and writhe on the end of his tongue, on the point of coming apart.

I’m lost in a sea of overwhelming sensations, when unexpectedly Axel withdraws his tongue. I sob a protest.

But more is coming. I hear the snick of the lube bottle opening, and the cool of the lube between my ass cheeks makes me jump. Then Axel applies gentle pressure against my entrance, his lubed finger pausing there.

“Is this okay?”

I swallow hard. But yes, this is okay, more than okay. It’s what I want, but I’m nervous.

“Yeah. Go slow?”

“Of course. Trust me.”

And I know I can, so I relax and let Axel weave his magic as he slowly and carefully works a finger inside, waiting for my sphincter to relax and accept him, before sliding deeper. It feels weird having someone else do this, but I've experimented on my own before, so the sensations aren't entirely new. The self-consciousness is, however, but I tamp it down and just give myself over to the sensations. I feel safe with Axel.

“How’s that?” Axel checks, but surely he can tell it’s amazing. I’m making the most shocking noises which under any other circumstances would have me cringing with embarrassment. But not with him. With him, I can lay myself bare without shame.

“Oh my god, that’s a..a..amazing,” I stutter, a choked groan slipping out along with the words.

“Gonna try two now,” Axel’s voice sounds strained.

I whimper at the loss as he withdraws his finger, but the emptiness is only for a moment. He adds more lube and then there’s more pressure as he presses two fingers in ever so slowly, waiting for my body to accommodate before sliding them in a little further. In and out, over and over. Waiting patiently for my body to yield to him.

I can’t tell how far his fingers are inside me. It feels like they must be miles up there. And then he hits my prostate and I forget about how far in he is, because it really doesn’t matter. I’m nearly levitating off the bed, keening loudly, as he fucks me with his fingers, hitting my prostate every time and sending me nearly out of my fucking mind.

Jesus. The intensity is mind blowing. Axel might have a point about taking things slow, this is almost more than my body and mind can process right now.

Axel’s other hand wraps around my cock and it only takes a couple of strokes before I’m gone. My eyes flutter closed and a zing zips through my body as I erupt everywhere. Hot cum spurts across my chest and spatters onto my chin, and Axel continues stroking me, draining me until I have nothing left.

I whimper as he withdraws his fingers. Then he’s on his knees between my legs on the mattress, stroking himself frantically. Pre-cum leaks copiously from his engorged crown, and he moans as his hand glides over the sensitive skin. He closes his eyes and throws his head back, crying out as his warm cum splatters on my abdomen and chest.

As the last drop falls, he leans over me, holding himself up on his right elbow, panting heavily, head bowed as he tries to catch his breath. A trickle of cum tickles as it slides down my side, dripping onto the sheets.

After a while, Axel's breathing settles. He lifts his head to look at me and strokes the side of my face with the back of his hand.

“So beautiful,” he whispers, looking at me with such a tender expression that I nearly melt into the mattress. Then he takes my swollen lips in his, tongue softly probing. The kiss is sweet and gentle, loving. In my dazed state, I’m boneless and pliant and I sink into his kiss, mind spinning away into some timeless zone where there’s nothing but warm lips against warm lips, and Axel’s steady hand behind my neck, anchoring me to the earth.

I must have dozed off briefly, because when I come to, the cum has been wiped off my body and Axel is curled protectively around me. He’s awake, and when he realizes I’ve woken from my stupor, he drops a kiss on the top of my head. And we talk.

We talk until the sky begins to lighten, and the early birds begin their morning chatter. We talk about everything, and we talk about nothing.

Then he takes me home.

Gravel crunches as the car comes to a halt at the top of the driveway. The silence is deafening as Axel cuts the engine. I wind down the window and let the salty air, fresh with the new day, wash over me. The long elegant leaves of the eucalypts rustle in the faint breeze, a currawong calls. In the distance far below, the surf rumbles to the shore.

Before leaving me, Axel takes my hand in his and kisses my fingertips tenderly. Dark shadows rim his eyes. Mine must be no better.

There are things I want to say, but I can’t. I’m afraid. Afraid I’ll sound too needy. Afraid to make a fool of myself. Afraid this won’t last. Always those small niggling fears.