Page 7

BEFORE

November 1970

Sally

Sunshine House Orphanage, Hammersmith, London

Elsie placed a finger on her lips, indicating to Sally that she should remain quiet. Moving towards them across the wooden floor, heavy footsteps echoed around the damp, dark hallway. They were hiding behind a large armoire that stood under the oak staircase. Sally held her breath as Elsie reached over to clasp her hand in her own. It felt clammy to touch, and Sally cursed herself for letting the time get away from her. They knew that either Sister Jones or Housemother always did their rounds at eleven o’clock.

Sally’s heart raced so fast inside her chest that it felt like a wild animal trying to break free. She could still hear the clip-clop of feet approaching. It was Housemother, she decided. She recognised the heavy footfall of her steel-tip brogue boots. Sally’s mind raced with anticipation and dread. Would Housemother look under the stairs or go straight to the dormitory? She heard the footsteps pause and saw the flash of a lantern moving up and down the hallway.

She and Elsie had got into countless scrapes together over the past seven years, and this year alone they had been caned half a dozen times by Housemother. The memory of the last punishment still stung on the back of her legs, a constant reminder of the risks they took.

Elsie looked stricken, but Sally scowled back at her, unwilling to let her off the hook. Her face was ashen, but her lips were pink and bruised from all the kissing with her boyfriend. Elsie now had curves that rivalled Marilyn Monroe, and she loved the attention this got her, whereas Sally still looked young for her twelve years, and was invisible to boys, but that was okay. She was in no rush.

Sally saw Housemother’s sensible black boots move to the first step of the staircase. And she knew that they were done for.

Then Sister Jones’s voice called out from the staff den. ‘Are you playing this round of sevens or not? I’m dealing the cards now.’ The nun moved into the hallway, joining Housemother on the stairs, looking in their direction and spotting the girls hiding. She shook her head, her forehead creased in a frown.

Mercifully, Sister Jones called out to the Housemother, ‘There’s not a sound coming from any of the dorms. They must all be out like a light. Come on back to the cards.’ Then she led Housemother back towards the staff den.

Only when they heard the door close, did Sally and Elsie exhale.

‘I thought we were goners . . .’ Elsie whispered, her blue eyes still wide with fright.

Sally faced the girl who had become her surrogate older sister in everything but blood. She knew she had only herself to blame, agreeing to go along with Elsie’s latest escapade. After years of moments like these, Sally should know better. But the problem was that Sally could never say no to Elsie. Because life was always more exciting with Elsie around.

‘Good old Sister Jones. “I’m dealing the cards now!”’ Elsie said, mimicking the nun’s Scottish accent perfectly.

Tomorrow Sally would find Sister Jones and thank her for saving them. Over the years, for every dark moment in the orphanage, Sister Jones had found a way to counteract it with an act of kindness. Along with Elsie, the nun had become like family to Sally.

‘I am sorry,’ Elsie whispered. ‘I should have gone out to meet Reggie on my own.’

Reggie was also a resident of their orphanage, but lived in the boy’s block across the courtyard. The staff did an admirable job keeping the boys and girls separate, but they were no match for hormonal teenagers in the first flush of love. Plus, when Elsie decided to do something, there was little that anyone could do to deter her. No matter the consequence.

They’d sneaked out earlier tonight once it was lights out in their dormitories. Sally’s job was to keep watch while Elsie and Reggie stole thirty minutes together.

‘We need to get back to bed,’ Elsie whispered, and they moved silently to the staircase and began creeping to their dormitory, one step at a time. Elsie warned Sally to avoid the loose step halfway up, which always told tales. It was only when they were in the safety of their dormitory that Sally relaxed. Soft snores filled the room from the six other girls who they shared with. They quickly undressed, climbing into their regulation fleeced nightdresses.

‘That was too close,’ Sally said, still holding on to her annoyance. She shivered as her body hit the cold sheets. The weather had turned icy this week, and the temperatures had dropped to almost freezing. Elsie climbed in beside Sally as she’d done most nights since arriving at the orphanage.

Elsie smiled weakly at her friend, and pulled the blankets tightly over them.

‘I’m sick of always being the sensible one, looking out for you when you mess up. It’s not fair, Elsie. You are alone if you decide to have more moonlit rendezvous. I mean it. You can count me out,’ Sally whispered crossly. Then she continued, softer now, ‘You do know that you are not the first to fall for Reggie’s charms. He broke Rebecca’s heart last month. You heard her crying into her pillow every night. Honestly, it would be best to stay away from him.’

Elsie’s face slid into a smile, and she sighed dreamily. ‘If you had been kissed like I was tonight, you wouldn’t have asked me to make that promise.’ Then she winked and added, ‘Plus, who can blame Reggie for dumping Rebecca. She gave him a headache with all her moaning. It’s too cold. I don’t like the rain. It’s too dark.’ Elsie mimicked Rebecca’s nasal twang to perfection. She had an ear for accents and could copy most.

Sally’s lips curled into a smile as she tried to suppress a giggle. She couldn’t help it – she had no choice but to forgive Elsie immediately.

‘I knew you’d understand, Sally. I swear, I’ll lose my mind if I have to do one more day in this existence without the prospect of a fun diversion,’ Elsie declared.

Life in the orphanage was bleak, from when the bell rang out to wake the residents to when the bell rang for the last time, signalling lights out.

Then Elsie propped her head up on her arm and whispered, ‘And don’t worry about me. I know that Reggie and I ain’t no Romeo and Juliet. I have no intention of falling for him. He’s fun – that’s all. A stopgap until I meet the right man when I leave this dump.’

‘Do you think I’ll meet someone one day too?’ Sally asked, her eyes glistening dreamily as she bought into the fantasy of life outside the orphanage. Unlike Elsie, Sally had only read about romance in books and magazines.

Elsie cupped Sally’s chin in her hand. ‘You are so pretty, Sally Fox. The boys will be falling at your feet. We’ll marry two brothers, or best friends at least, and we can live in houses next door to each other.’

‘The brothers will be tall, dark and handsome,’ Sally added.

‘Wouldn’t want them any other way,’ Elsie agreed.

‘Will we have children?’ Sally asked.

‘You’ll have at least four children. You’re born to be a mother.’

‘What about you, Elsie?’ Sally asked, watching her friend closely.

Elsie’s eyes glistened. ‘I’ll have a baby boy. With sparkling blue eyes, and a mop of curly blond hair. He’ll be my everything.’ She ended on a whisper. Then, sitting up straight, she added in a stronger voice, ‘And you’ll have your own hairdressing salon, Sally. I’ll work in one of those skyscrapers. The ones with plush offices in London.’

Sally smiled as she listened to their favourite daydream. And while Sally didn’t know what her future would turn out like, she knew one thing for sure. She would never follow in her mother’s footsteps. Falling for every wrong un who looked in her direction before becoming pregnant with a child she could never care for. Dumping them in an orphanage without a backwards glance.

Her anger at her mother caught her off-guard some days. And occasionally her grief and loss pierced her heart into so many tiny pieces that she didn’t think it could ever be remade.

‘We’ll give our children the life we never had,’ Sally said firmly. ‘And they’ll grow up to be as close as you and I are.’

Elsie clasped her hand and nodded fervently. ‘That’s right, treacle.’ Then she shivered in the icy room. ‘I don’t want to get into my own bed.’

‘Housemother doesn’t like us to share a bed,’ Sally said, worried, her brow furrowed as she glanced at the closed door, half expecting it to open. ‘We were lucky to get away with tonight.’

‘You’re right,’ Elsie said. ‘I’ll get out in a minute. Tell you what, how about I sing our song before I go?’

It had been years since Elsie had sung to her, and Sally knew her friend was trying to make amends for their near miss tonight, but Sally didn’t mind. She loved hearing Elsie’s pretty voice in her ear, singing ‘you are my sunshine’ until Sally fell asleep, dreaming of a life outside the orphanage with love, marriage and a family.