Page 15

THEN

July 1983

Kimberly

Hotel Miramar, Barcelona, Spain

It had been seven long days, which translated to one hundred and sixty-eight hours of agony and uncertainty, since Robert went missing. Ever since then, Kimberly had been living in a state of perpetual fear and anxiety,

Her hand rested on the side of Lily’s cot. Kimberly had got into the habit of sleeping like that, always with a hand ready to reach out and catch her daughter if she should need her. Or to clasp an unknown predator between her fingers before they ran away with another child. Kimberly sat up and massaged her shoulder, which ached from its unusual position.

Jason’s side of the bed was empty, but that didn’t surprise her. However little Kimberly slept, he managed less every night. He’d taken to walking the streets of Barcelona at all hours of the day and night in the hope he’d spot Robert. She missed him, but she understood why he had to do this.

Her father-in-law, Kevin, was by his side for every trek. Together, they were determined to knock on every door and leave no stone unturned. Kevin, a retired civil servant, had come prepared for battle. His hotel room became the headquarters for their unofficial ‘Find Robert’ operation. He’d created a missing-child poster, with a photograph of Robert, centre, under a large headline, ‘Help us bring Robert home.’ Over the past couple of days, they had distributed over a thousand of these posters throughout Barcelona.

Inspector Ortega had updated them daily, but, unfortunately, there were no genuine leads for him to go on. The lack of progress made it difficult for them to maintain any hope.

Lily stirred in her sleep. She’d be awake soon. So Kimberly washed and dressed quickly.

The hotel room, which had appeared spacious and luxurious during check-in, now looked cluttered and cramped. Kimberly couldn’t help but long for the comfort of their home in Dublin.

Maybe this was her hell – to stay in this room, neither living nor dead – a purgatory for her sins.

At seven o’clock, like clockwork, Lily reached her two chubby arms upwards, calling for her mama. Twenty minutes later, Kimberly made her way down to the dining room with Lily in her arms. She was directed to an empty table in the corner of the room by a member of the waiting staff. A highchair appeared, and Kimberly busied herself, settling Lily into it. All the while, she was studiously avoiding eye contact with any of the guests, who she knew were all watching her as they ate their bacon and eggs.

Kimberly had heard their whispers as she’d passed them by in the lobby over the previous week.

‘ There’s the mother of that missing child. ’

‘ How could you sleep through someone taking your child? ’

‘ Something suspicious about all of this. ’

‘ I heard the dad isn’t the dad, but the stepdad. ’

Kimberly wanted to scream at them all to mind their own business, to shut up, shut up, shut up. But she had to find the strength to keep going and stay sane. Robert’s disappearance had been covered by the local and national press here in Spain. They’d had several requests for interviews that, up to now, they’d refused to give. And the story had broken at home in Ireland too. Her family’s nightmare had become the source of sensationalist headlines.

‘Good morning,’ Kevin said as he approached the table. He gave Kimberly a polite nod, and then his face broke into a happy smile as he looked down at his granddaughter.

Lily babbled in delight when she saw him. He kissed the top of her head, saying, ‘Whose my best girl?’

‘Where is Jason?’ Kimberly asked, looking around the room for him. She didn’t like being in her father-in-law’s company without her husband. Kevin had a way of looking right through her, and it felt as if he were uncovering all her secrets.

‘He’s done in. Barely able to move one foot in front of the other. I wanted him to go to sleep, but he insisted he must see you and Lily. So he’s splashing cold water on his face before he comes in to eat.’ His brown eyes scrutinised Kimberley, a frown creasing his forehead. ‘This cannot continue, you know.’

It appeared that this , whatever this was, was all Kimberly’s fault.

‘He needs to get some rest,’ Kevin insisted.

Ah, that’s what this was. ‘I begged him to stay in our hotel room last night,’ Kimberly said. She sighed and added, ‘Wherever Robert is, he’ll be long gone from Barcelona.’

Kevin nodded his agreement as he poured himself a cup of coffee. ‘I’m going to hire a car today so we can take our posters further afield. We’ve got Barcelona a hundred per cent covered.’

‘Thank you for all you’re doing,’ Kimberly said. She reached over to pat her father-in-law’s hand awkwardly. ‘I appreciate everything you’ve done for us since you arrived.’

‘I wish I could do more.’

A pot of tea and coffee arrived at the table, along with a silver tray of toast. They ordered bacon and eggs for them all, including Jason. Kimberly had little appetite, though. She’d nibble on a square of buttered toast and devote her energy to spoon-feeding porridge to Lily.

But then Kevin’s eyes narrowed. ‘Jason blames himself. For going out for a few drinks. For not being there to protect his family. That kind of guilt can eat away at a person. And it’s unfair to put this at this feet.’

‘I don’t blame him!’ Kimberly said truthfully.

‘That’s good. After all, it was you who insisted he go out. And you took a sleeping pill while in charge of the children.’

Kimberly felt a flush rise to her cheeks. ‘I wish I could go back and do it all differently.’

Tears came once again. She was incredulous that she still could produce them, having shed so many over the past week.

Kevin’s eyes never left her as he sipped his coffee.

‘It’s clear that you hold me accountable, Kevin. Well, I can assure you that I do too. I’ll never forgive myself for taking that pill.’

Jason arrived, took one look at Kimberly’s face and rushed to her side. He handed her a napkin and asked, ‘Are you okay?’

She noted that he didn’t put his arms round her, though. Rot had crept into their marriage. It had caused their love to shrink day by day, and now it was crumbling in front of her eyes, splintering, piercing, failing. And she didn’t know what to do to prevent it.

She wiped her eyes, telling Jason all was fine. They both looked towards Lily. An unspoken promise moved between them: they would not allow themselves to fall apart in front of their daughter. Jason took a seat on the other side of Lily. Kevin passed him a cup of coffee, which he gulped down in two large swigs.

‘You look tired,’ Kimberly said, noticing the bags under Jason’s eyes. His lips were chapped and blistering. She reached into her handbag and pulled out a ChapStick, handing it to him. He half smiled at her, and for a moment it was as it used to be.

He slicked it onto his lips and said, ‘That’s better. Thanks.’ Then he cleared his throat before turning to Kimberly. ‘We’ve had a call from Inspector Ortega. He’d like us both to call down to the station.’

‘Is there news?’ Kimberly asked, her stomach clenching at the thought.

‘I don’t know. But he did say he’d like to see us this morning.’

Kevin lowered his voice and leaned in. ‘Should you take a lawyer with you?’

‘Why would we do that?’ Kimberly asked, her eyes wide.

‘If we take a lawyer, surely that will make the authorities think we look guilty?’ Jason asked, his knee jiggling up and down.

‘Not for one moment do I believe that either of you had anything to do with Robert’s disappearance. But there’s been chatter. You’ve heard it yourselves. And speculation in the press too. That article in the Independent hinted that you were a possible suspect, Jason,’ Kevin said.

‘They always blame the parents,’ Kimberly murmured.

‘Or the wicked step-parent,’ Jason added bitterly.

‘We have to box clever here, son. I’ve been talking to one of my contacts in the Irish embassy, and they have suggested a lawyer for you. He’s a local lad, but excellent at this type of thing.’

Kimberly felt bile rush its way into the back of her throat. She held a napkin to her mouth and closed her eyes to ward off nausea.

‘I will not allow them to pin this on you,’ Kevin said firmly to Jason.

‘Or Kimberly,’ Jason added.

‘Absolutely. This one needs you both,’ Kevin said, pointing to Lily. ‘This can’t be the right environment for Lily. Living out of a suitcase, with none of her toys and things. We have to think about when it’s time to go home.’

‘No!’ Kimberly snapped loudly, banging her hand on the table so hard that her teacup rattled in the saucer. Several diners turned in their direction. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. But we can’t go.’ She reached over to Jason, clasping his hand between her own. ‘What if they bring Robert back to us? What if they realise they’ve made a mistake when Robert keeps asking for us, his mama and daddy? We have to be here, waiting for him.’

‘It’s okay, honey. Don’t get upset. We’ll stay,’ Jason reassured her.

Kevin raised his hands in defeat. ‘Fair enough. But in the meantime think about the lawyer. If this inspector starts making any accusations when you go down this morning, you immediately call a halt and say you need your lawyer present. Give me a call here, and I’ll get it sorted.’