Page 14

THEN

July 1983

Kimberly

Hotel Miramar, Barcelona, Spain

Kimberly and Jason stood side by side on the edge of the bustling Barcelona portside, watching the Carousel sail out of the harbour. They were lost in their thoughts, still reeling from the news that the cruise ship would continue without them. With the captain’s help, they had booked a hotel in Barcelona, and their luggage had already been transferred there.

People jostled by them, laughing and joking as they posed for photographs, but Kimberly barely noticed. Holding on to Lily’s buggy, they stood like statues, staring out to sea. It was as if their feet had become concreted to the pier, and they could not move.

Each lost in the horror of the past seventy-two hours.

She heard Jason sigh heavily beside her. And her hand moved a few inches to her right, to offer him support. But paused, before her hand made contact with his, dropping back to her side again. She felt sweat trickle down the small of her back in the stifling summer heat.

Only when the white ship became a dot on the horizon did Jason speak.

‘I suppose we should head to the hotel. It’s only a few minutes’ walk from what I can make out.’ He held up a small map given to him by one of the ship’s stewards.

‘That was the last place I held my baby boy in my arms,’ Kimberly said in a strangled voice, tears welling up in her eyes.

‘They’ve searched the entire ship over and over. He’s not there,’ Jason replied, his voice devoid of emotion.

Kimberly felt irritation nip at her, and she fought to bite back a sarcastic response. Did he think she was that stupid that she thought Robert was hidden in a dusty corner of the ship? Wherever her boy was, it wasn’t there – that much she knew.

Kimberly released the brake on the buggy, reaching down to adjust the bonnet on Lily’s head. Lily smiled happily up to her mama, happy to be out and about. It had been a trying few days for their daughter too. Her holiday had come abruptly to an end. No more splashes in the pool. No more games of peek-a-boo with her older brother. Kimberly felt another wave of terror run over her. But she couldn’t allow it to take hold. Not here. So she pushed the buggy and followed Jason as he pointed to a street on their right. They walked through narrow cobbled streets leading them to lively squares lined with tall coconut trees and water fountains.

A few moments later, they arrived at their hotel. A manager was ushered to them when they gave their name at check-in.

He tilted his head in sympathy as he spoke. ‘The Miramar is here to help in any way we can at this difficult time. Please do not hesitate to ask me personally if you need anything. Anything at all.’ He pressed a card into Jason’s hand.

‘As it happens, there is something you can help me with,’ Jason replied. ‘Can you reserve a room for my father, please? He is travelling from Dublin later today. Kevin Murphy.’

Kimberly looked sharply at her husband. When had that been decided? He shuffled uneasily beside her. Jason knew that she had a strained relationship with his father. He had been suspicious when Jason had introduced Kimberly to Kevin. She could read his thoughts as he’d looked her up and down disdainfully.

What on earth did Jason see in a single mother, with very little to her name?

‘Of course,’ the manager replied, smiling for the first time. He looked relieved to be given something to do. ‘For how many nights? I’ve held the reservation for your room for one week already, but we can extend or reduce that, depending on how . . .’ He struggled to find the right words to complete that sentence.

‘On if we find our son?’ Kimberly said, her voice tight with emotion. When she saw a flush run across the manager’s face, she softened and added, ‘We don’t know how long we’ll be here.’

‘We’ll be here until they find Robert,’ Jason said firmly. ‘As long as it takes.’

The manager called a sombre porter, who led them down a plush carpeted hallway. They all stood in awkward silence in the lift as it moved to the fifth floor. The porter opened the door to their room and backed out, leaving them to it.

‘It looks nice,’ Jason said, again in that same voice that was starved of any joy. She took in the growing stubble on his face, the dark circles under his eyes all in stark contrast to how rested and tanned he’d looked only a few days ago.

He’d aged since Robert was taken. She supposed she had too. Kimberly looked around the spacious room with a crib assembled beside a large queen-sized bed. Plush bedspreads in burnt orange-and-gold matched the curtains that framed a large window overlooking the ocean. A few days ago, Kimberly would have been giddy at the opulence had they stepped into this beautiful room. But now it left a bitter taste in her mouth. She guessed that they had been given this superior room because their child had been snatched from them. Consolation for their loss. Kimberly wanted none of it; every luxurious inch of the space insulted her missing son.

Jason unclipped Lily from her buggy, and she cooed with delight to be free from her restraint. There was a lot to explore in this new space. As he cuddled their little girl, Kimberly kicked her sandals off and entered the bathroom. She told Jason that she would have a shower, locking the door from the inside. She’d never done that before. They were not the kind of family to turn keys between themselves. But everything had changed three nights ago, and she was sure they would never be the same again.

Kimberly peeled off her T-shirt and shorts and stepped into the large shower cubicle. She turned the water on, and only when it cascaded over her, hot and sharp, stinging her body, did she allow herself to cry out. She pounded her hands against the tiled walls of the shower and screamed as sobs overcame her.

She had always been a good mother to Robert and Lily, giving her life to them and putting them above all else. Every single moment of every single day was in service to her children.

Unlike her own mother.

And yet this was what she got in return.

Why has this happened to me? she thought to herself, feeling the shame rise from her toes upwards, through her heaving stomach, to her flushed face. She knew why it had happened. She had let her guard down, and now the unimaginable had happened.